Friday, February 10, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 2/9/12 (Hogan the comedian)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 2/9/12. With TNA still in the UK, how will round 2 go? Let's find out and start the review. 

TNA showed a video package of what happened last week, but with a twist. They played Star Wars music in the background. TNA said they were doing a Star Wars theme for the night. Let me ask a perfectly legit question. How in the hell does THIS qualify as a Star Wars theme show? The Star Wars Christmas Special was more Star Wars themed then this. If you watched the show, you know exactly what I'm talking about. All TNA did was play some Star Wars music, a Phantom Menace trailer, and advertised how people have to watch the show in order to win a Phantom Menace poster. Spike TV must be really mean if they have to force people to watch TNA in order to win Star Wars memorabilia. Why not just hit them in the face with a frying pan while you're at it? Okay, I'm having a little too much by messing around with this, but you have to admit that it was a poor attempt to get people to tune into the show. To add insult to injury, it's a movie poster of Phantom Menace. Trust me, I don't think you're missing much by skipping the worst film of the Star Wars saga. If Spike wanted TNA to make it a Star Wars theme, they should've included more stuff portraying to Star Wars. This just comes off as lazy. I also realize that Impact was filmed a while back, but that's even more of a reason to not let TNA do the plugging of this film. That's just poor planning on Spike TV's part. In fact, I blame Spike more than I do TNA. If this was George Lucas' idea, I REALLY want to know what he was thinking when he green lighted this. Then again, it was probably Spike TV's idea, since they run Star Wars specials all the time. In fact, I can remember a time where…..okay, I realize I am getting off track. Then again, do you really want me to review this show? Fine…..I'll do it. I never get to have fun…

We open up the show with Darth Bully Ray. Wow!!! This review is already more of a Stars War theme than tonight's show. Don't worry, I'll stop with the Star Wars talk now. Bully calls out Robert Roode to discuss how things played out last week. When Roode arrives, Bully talks about how Roode wasn't there to cover his back. He talks about how he's the reason that Roode is still champ and Roode isn't being a fair guy. Roode immediately says he doesn't take their partnership for granted and vows that they should focus on Sting as opposed to fighting each other. Sting shows up and says he will be the special enforcer for the Fatal 4Way championship match at Against All Odds. He also adds that it will be Bully and Roode vs James Storm and Sting in a tag team match later tonight. Pretty standard opening. Can you believe the PPV is this week? I almost forgot that it was this weekend. I said a while back that I'm fine with Sting competing in wrestling matches, just as long as it isn't in a consistent basis. This is already Sting's second match this year and we are only in February. That's overkill. One of the reason I look forward to Undertaker's matches is because they don't happen all the time. I like it since it makes it more of a special occasion when he gets in the fight. With Sting in TNA, it doesn't have that same special feeling since he is very active on this show. Just some food for thought. 

Match #1: Christopher Daniels vs AJ Styles 
Well, at least Daniels isn't going to resort to first degree screwdriver against AJ this go around. I guess you can say this was a good match to watch. The finish comes when Daniels tells Kaz to give him a pair of brass knuckles. Kaz doesn't seem like he wants to, but eventually does it because he isn't a man. Remember, I like to joke around when writing reviews. People take my articles way too seriously sometimes.  Anyway, Daniels uses the knucks to knock out AJ, thus he wins the match. I really hope they give us some details at the PPV since they need to progress this storyline. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if they wait until the following week on Impact to tell the audience what is going on. 

Winner via pinfall: Christopher Daniels

Back in the ring where Samoa Joe and Magnus cut a promo. Actually, it was mainly a Magnus promo since Joe said nothing. Honestly, that was the best move. Magnus isn't bad on the mic while Joe is not a good promo cutter. It also helps that Magnus was in his hometown. He talks about being back home in England and how they are a better tag team than Matt Morgan and Crimson. Morgan and Crimson show up and the tag teams start to fight. Morgan and Crimson get the advantage and are about to hit their double team finisher on Magnus, but Joe pulls him through the ropes and saves him. The promo wasn't too bad. It's a little odd how the bad guys were the fan favorite this time around, but that's what happens when you do shows at various places. I bet most people don't care about this rivalry, but at least they are trying. 

Match #2: Austin Aries vs Douglas Williams vs Alex Shelley
Based on how this match went, it almost made no sense for Douglas to be involved. It was just an excuse to get the England native to perform in front of his countrymen. This was a pretty good match, but it was short. Then again, you can take what you get. The finish comes when Shelley hits the Sliced Bread on Austin for the victory. A win like this adds a little more intrigue for the X Division title match. It will be interesting to see what they do this Sunday. This is something completely off topic, but why is it called the Sliced Bread? It certainly doesn't look like the action of slicing bread. Who comes up with these names? And I thought the idea of a tanooki suit in Super Mario blew your mind. 

Winner via pinfall: Alex Shelley

Backstage where Hulk Hogan and Garett Bischoff are talking. Hogan is giving Garett tips on how to make it in the wrestling business until Sting arrives. Hogan immediately forgets about Garett and talks to Sting. Hogan says he will talk to Garett in a second, but he needs to talk to Sting first. They talk about how Sting is in-charge of TNA and tries to give him some pointers. This would be a good opportunity for the Brokeback Mountain music. As I've said for a number of weeks, I am not a fan of this Garett storyline. He isn't ready for this type of exposure and has done nothing to deserve it. Plus, how is he going to grow when the focus is on Hogan? Seriously, this isn't a Garett storyline anymore…'s a Hogan storyline. Yeah, like we haven't had many of those. Some people have told me I am too harsh on Garett, but I got some interesting statistics over the week. According to some research I did, I find out a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of the ratings of IW last week. During the segments where Garett was involved, the ratings went down. As soon as Garett left, the ratings went back up. That's should be a clue that people don't have an invested interest with this storyline. End it at the PPV and let's move on. There was a brawl between Tara and Gail Kim. Gail ended up winning the fight. That's your exciting build up for the KO title match this Sunday. Oh, and Hogan goes on a rant in how TNA is "this close" in being the top company. Are you serious? TNA is ready to take down WWE? They aren't even close. Hogan sure likes talking out of his ass. Now, I'll give TNA some credit. The company has been showing signs of improvement, but they aren't even close to taking down WWE. Impact hasn't even beaten Smackdown and Hogan is saying crap like this? I understand he has to say stuff like this, but this is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous that it's pretty funny. 

Back in the ring where Hogan and Garett come out. Hogan says he expected this type of reaction and is glad they have welcomed him. Yes, keep feeding Hogan's ego. I hear he secretly gets off on it. Hogan says that everything the fans have given him, he wants them to give the same thing to Garett…..

Hogan should be a stand up comedian. He just keeps on saying those one liners. Those one liners that make no sense and are laughable. News flash, Hogan. The fans won't start cheering for Garett until he does something to EARN it. That's right.  Fame and stardom isn't handed to you, you have to earn it. Did Hogan forget this? I understand Hogan has to say these things, but this is more farfetched than…..Farfetch'D. Wrap your head around that one? Anyway, Eric Bischoff and Gunner arrive and talk about how Hogan doesn't know anything about the business anymore. Is this kayfabe or are we shooting? I don't know anymore. Hogan says he has the Hulkamania stroke. Hulkamania stroke? Whoa, way too much information, Hulk. I don't want to hear about Hogan's stroke. Yeah, I'm having too much fun with this scene, but can you blame me? It's so boring that I have to add silly crap to make it interesting. I bet you wouldn't get this type of stuff on the wrestling websites since they are too formal. Anyway, after my heart attack, Eric hits a low blow on Hogan. Gunner starts to tear apart Garett. Hogan gets back up in seconds after the low blow. Hogan has been going overtime with that Hulkamania stroke….if you know what I mean. He punches Eric and tosses Gunner out of the ring. The good guys stand tall. Oh, it was announced that it will be Garett vs Gunner at AAO. Bischoff and Hogan will also be in their corners for this match. It's funny how this storyline is supposed to be about the Bischoffs while it's really about Hogan and Eric. Yeah, that's how you build up younger stars…….more like building out of your ass. Or as Sheamus would say, building out of their arse. 

Match #3: Velvet Sky vs Mickie James
I had no idea why this match made it on the air, but I think we would get an explanation at the end of the match. The match was nothing special. The finish comes when Velvet wins with a cradle rollup. After the match, Mickie seemed shocked and a little angry. Then again, it was tough to tell with her facial expressions. Some of these wrestlers really need to consider acting lessons, and that includes WWE talent. Actually, the same could be said for anyone inspiring to become a wrestler. It appears that Mickie could be in line for a heel turn. At this point, it couldn't hurt, but it isn't going to mean a whole lot. 

Winner via pinfall: Velvet Sky

Match #4: James Storm and Sting vs Robert Roode and Bully Ray
I know there was a number of backstage/video packages I didn't mention, but this is a review and not a 100% recap. Besides, I just want to wrap this one up. This was probably the best match of the night, but I don't think it's saying very much. Sting was very active in this match. The finish comes when Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock on Roode. Bully is about to hit Sting with the world title, but decides to leave Roode hanging. He leaves him behind. With no other option, Roode taps out. I really didn't like how the world champion lost to a 52 year old semi-retired wrestler, but I understand why they did it. They really wanted to show the friction between Roode and Bully. Still, something about Sting winning the match via submission does bother me. Regardless of this finish, the table is set up for the Fatal 4Way match. This is one of the matches I'm looking forward to at AAO. They have set up the tension between these four guys pretty well and I think it will be interesting to see what they do. As long as Jeff Hardy doesn't win the title, I will be happy with any of the other guys winning the world title. 

Winner via submission: James Storm and Sting

Overall Impression:
I had a really hard time staying invested in Impact this evening. I wouldn't say it was bad, but I would say it was a boring Impact. The opening was average, along with the matches, and nothing about this episode really stood out tonight. The only funny thing about tonight was Hogan's insane ramblings, but that's because I was having way too much fun with them. I really didn't get invested into this show until the main event, and even then, it was still a struggle to stay on board. I still liked how the show looked outside the Impact Zone, so that's gotta be worth something, right? TNA didn't do the best job in hyping up the PPV. Like I said earlier in the review, it's this Sunday. Outside of the main event, some of these matches are hit and miss. Then again, maybe this will be one of those PPV gems? At the same time, I remember reviewing AAO last year and it was one of the poorer PPVs of the year. I hope that isn't the case. As I've said before, I want to see this company grow and make it to the top. They have improved over the last year, but there's still a lot of work to be done in order for this company to make it big. I know people are getting sick of me saying that, but it's the truth. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoy it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time. 


  1. "Spike TV must be really mean if they have to force people to watch TNA in order to win Star Wars memorabilia."

    I see what you did there.

  2. LMFAO!!! I don't watch TNA but those Hogan rants made me LMFAO. A star wars theme? Are you fu*king serious?