Friday, May 27, 2011

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 5/26/11

What is up wrestling fans, I am the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 5/26/11. Well, they actually put on a fair showing last week, so was change on the way or will TNA resort to their old tricks? Well, let's find out and start the review.

Match #1: Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray vs AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels in a Hardcore Match
Styles is still selling the neck injury with the brace. I would HOPE that this is a kayfabe injury, or Impact doesn't give a crap about their wrestlers. I guess the slogan goes Wrestling Matters and neiter do Injuries. Ok, joking aside, let's get to the match. The match is about what you expect in a hardcore match. I thought this company was promoting Wrestling Matters, and here they are showing a Hardcore match. Yeah, I know I keep making fun of the name change, but I really see hardly anything new with TNA since they are still doing a lot of the same tricks when they were called it TNA. In other words, despite a name change, what has really changed? Well, I gotta be fair because the show has actually gotten better ever since Jeff Hardy screwed up. Dreamer looks like the long lost pailer version of Super Crazy, except he is even pudgier. The finish comes when Styles hits a Piledriver while Daniels goes with the motion of the Piledriver off of the top rope and 4Tune wins the match. This matchup might be ok with some people, but as I have said in the past, hardcore matches don't really do it for me anymore. How is having a trash can lid fetish qualify as good wrestling? If you want to watch GOOD hardcore wrestling, whip out the classic ECW episodes and don't resort to this obvious substitute teacher. I was fine with this feud having it be Styles and Bully, but when you pull Dreamer and Daniels out of your ass, now your just trying to cram it all together.

Winner via pinfall: AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels

Since this is a show that claims that wrestling matters, we are now joined by......the Scorpion Sitdown. Anyway, it turns out it is Mr. Anderson in his classic Sting get up trying to act like Sting. After making fun of the Stinger, he calls out his guest in the Disco Inferno. Hey, they got the Disco? Wow, that.....MUST have been REALLY challenging on TNA's part. During this segment, Anderson was trying to get the Disco to talk badly about Sting and cut him down while Disco is trying to remain face and mentions how much of an asshole Anderson is. Finally, after bickering like a bunch of chickens that got their heads cut off, Disco says Sting is an icon and we should respect him while he doesn't care for Anderson and calls him a di**. Anderson eventually snaps and attacks him with his own microphone. What was so stupid on Disco's part was Anderson was setting this up for the longest time and Disco didn't even bother trying to leave the ring. I guess he forgot how the wrestling world works? After a blood spot by Disco, the real Sting comes out and Anderson runs away to end the segment. Ok, so I have a quick question. If they wanted to bring back on of Sting's classic rivals or workers, why bring in Disco? Why didn't they bring anyone closer to him like Lex Lugar or somebody like that? I guess TNA was embarassed by this since most of Sting's classic rivals still work with him in this company like Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan. Anderson is a pretty charismatic guy and can make a scene work, but this just reeked of ass and was definitely one of his weaker scenes. I like the idea of Anderson running around like the classic Sting, but he should be a little more creative in insulting or attacking Sting because no matter how you look at it, he is the bad guy in this feud.

Anyway, since this is the show where Wrestling Matters, we are now joined with two backstage scenes and an in ring segment. The first backstage scene was of Eric Young walking in the bathroom (What is it with this company and bathroom scenes? Are they trying to tell us something?) and he confronts Gunner. Young is literally talking a bunch of nonsense during this part. Hey Impact, this isn't funny and is just retarded, get it? The basics of what he was saying was he was willing to give Gunner back the TV Championship, but he would need to give him a TV Title match, to which Young would re-create the Fingerpoke of Doom segment in WCW and just lay down for Gunner....Are you f****** serious TNA? So, you want to recreate one of the moments in WCW that basically showed they just didn't give a s*** anymore, and now you want to do that in TNA? Of course, because casual fans will SOMEHOW love watching this stupid angle again. This Young character is just something I can't really like and don't really care for. I am sorry, but he is just flopping around like an idiot and talks jibberish. In other words, he is Dane Cook....hooray? This is pathetic because I have seen Young do successful comedy, and this is clearly not it. Plus, if Immortal is supposed to be this all powerful group and actually cares about wanting the gold, why don't they just attack Young as a group and just take the title away? It almost makes no sense since it almost shows that Immortal doesn't care about Gunner being their only champion and don't seem to care about Gunner in general since they aren't even bothering him to help him. Yeah, I know it's more wrestling logic, but somebody has to point out the plotholes or else everyone is going to think that nothing is wrong with Impact. Back in the ring where Velvet Sky calls out ODB. She eventually comes out and says the reason she attacked Sky last week is because when they fired her over a year ago, she basically thought it was Sky's fault because of how she poses herself off as a sex symbol and blaims her for getting fired way back when. She attacks Sky afterwords. Eventually, the refs separate the two and it showed that ODB was standing up while Sky (the face mind you) is almost trying to run away. Ok, let me ask a question. If ODB claimed to get fired by the higher ups (Not sure if she was talking about "The Network or Hogan, but who cares), why the hell would they actually go out to her and re-hire her? Based on ODB's logic, the company fired you because you weren't pretty enough, so instead of really having a grudge against the company or management, you have a problem with Sky? This ONCE AGAIN makes no sense and shows more of the laziness that is TNA creative when morons like myself can find the plotholes left and right. It would have made more sense if ODB would have declared war against all the pretty face KOs in the company instead of just Sky because that would make a lot of sense based on how her character is acting. Damn, I think I can write up a better wrestling show. Oh, and the other backstage scene was of Eric Bischoff and Beer Money. Robert Roode is selling a shoulder injury (kayfabe or not, I have no idea at the moment. Most likely a fake injury) and Bischoff is telling them that regardless of their injury, they still have to defend their tag titles at Slam. Bischoff tells them that injury or not, the match will happen and if they don't do it, they will be forced to give up the titles. Wait, Beer Money has an opponent at Slam....who are they? Seriously, did they just book a match without telling the audience who they are facing? This was one of those scenes to remind the audience that Bischoff is an asshole and dislikes the faces of TNA. Well, I suppose we will find out later where this is all going. Oh, and for some stupid reason, TNA felt the need to air a possible developing storyling on Explosion between the Pope and Devon. Apparently, they showed clips of Pope talking to Devon's family and Devon having a problem with it. Wow, the Pope's stock is completely dead if he is getting storylines on a show nobody freaking watches, and with Devon of all people. That would be like a wrestler having a storyline on WWE Superstars with someone like Trent Baretta. How am I suppose to care about this potentional feud when you don't even air the developing feud on Impact and show it on the internet show? That is some "brilliant" marketing TNA. I am actually trying to figure out which feud is more half assed, Pope/Joe or Pope/Devon. If anything, there is more of a story between Pope and Devon because a family was involved, while there was no point for the Pope/Joe feud til this very day. If your going to start booking Pope in meaningless feuds like this, you might as well just give him a pink slip because this is just a waste of talent. Wow, Impact/TNA pissing away talent......never seen that happen before?

Match #2: Jeff Jarrett vs Matt Morgan
Impact didn't explain that Jarrett and Kurt Angle were under the Pick your Poison rules since Kurt picked Jarrett's opponent and vica versa. A little mention to the audience would have been f******. During the Jarretts entrance, they went through all the trouble to show Jeff helping Karen to get in the ring and pose with the crowd. What was the point of this if she was going to leave the ring already? Think about it, if she is injured, why would she put herself through all that agony to pose in the ring for 15 seconds? Sometimes, the Jarretts are just complete idiots. Before the match started, Jeff got a chair to set up at ringside for Karen. Referee Earl Hebner says that Karen needs to be farther away from the ring because she keeps getting involved. This starts a pointless bickering between the ref and the Jarretts. What was so stupid about this was even though they set up the chair a little further away from the ring, she is already standing up near the ring when the match starts. To add insult to injury, Hebner CLEARLY sees her closer to the ring and doesn't even care anymore. In other words, that opening scene was a complete waste of freakin time. During this match, Karen just kept getting involved. The match could have been good, but with all of the intereference, it just sucked. There was a spot where the ref got distracted, which allowed Karen to hand Jeff a crutch and hit Morgan with it. What was even more ridiculous was Jeff hits the Stroke on Morgan, and Morgan kicked out. Not only that, but later on in the match, Karen causes another distraction. This brings out Scott Steiner to hit a sh**** finisher on Morgan, Jeff picks up the bones and gets the three count. Wait, so Morgan can survive a weapon and a finisher by Jarrett, but can't survive a Steiner facebuster finisher? Yeah....that makes perfect sense..... Well, it appears the Steiner/Morgan feud is still in the works. Karen gets involved in these matches way too often. I realize they are heels and thus should be cheating, but this is overkill. By the way, I think the stupid conservation between the ref and the Jarretts lasted longer than the actual match....wrestling matters huh?

Winner via pinfall: Jeff Jarrett

We are back in the ring with Bischoff talking about how Hogan did awesome at the meetings last week and he has complete control of the company. This brings out Hogan (Isn't this show passed Hogan's bedtime?) and talks about doing well in the meetings and how Bischoff is great for eliminting the X Division last week. Eventually, Mick Foley comes out and says he talked to the executives and convinced him how the X Division put TNA on the map (Considering that casual fans have never even heard of TNA, I don't know how much the X Division put TNA on the map when the ratings are still in the dumps. Was TNA ever really on the map to begin with?). Foley goes on to say that in July, he will be scouting X Division talent to make an Ultimate X Match at Destination X (Oh yeah.....because we have NEVER seen an Ultimate X match? Heck, didn't we have this match earlier this year?). Hogan says that if Foley wants to go to bat for the X Division, he should get in the ring with Abyss and try to take the title. Foley seems to be forward with the move, until Brian Kendrick leads his group of misfits and claims God told him it is his destiny to face off against Abyss and take the title (if that is the case, God much has a sick sense of humor to basically throw Kendrick as bait). Hogan is laughing his ass off at Kendrick's porposal (you would as well) and says the match is official while Foley seems ok with putting a guy who weighs a buck 50 against a monster who is quoting the Art of War book. Again, I am somewhat interested to see where this whole war against the X Division is going, but I almost wonder what will happen after this storyline is over? Will the X Division still have something meaningful going on or will they just go back to what they were doing earlier in the year? Only time will tell...

Match #3: Mickie James vs Winter
There was a quick backstage scene of Winter massaging an almost nude Angelina Love.....I have no comment. The match was very short and it ends with Mickie hits a Delayed DDT for the clean win. The main story here is after the match, Winter was bleeding from the lip. Love sees this and instantly goes coo coo and kills Mickie. How is it that with this whole deal Winter is the minor character while Love is the main character? Shouldn't it be the other way around since Winter is the one pulling the strings? That would be like Frankenstien's monster creating and controlling Dr. Frankenstein. I guess the whole rivalry with Sky just ended, even though that storyline had no real conclusion. I guess it pretty much proves that TNA is really behind Sky on this one since she is getting so much screen time and has rivalries left and right. Any day now, they are going to start treating Sky like a Goddess, and then this will start happening.....

Winner via pinfall: Mickie James

Match #4: Abyss vs Brian Kendrick for the X Division Title
There was a rather pointless backstage scene prior to this match. Abyss was in a cage talking about the Art of War while Kaz shows up and lands a cheapshot on Abyss. Kendrick was trying in this matchup to stand toe to toe, but I guess it proves that destiny can be a bitch when Abyss hits the BHS and wins the match cleanly. See what I mean about the backstage scene being pointless? If a title change would have occured, then it would make sense, but there is no point to lay out Abyss only for him to get up seconds later and still win a title defense.....unless it starts a rivalry between Abyss and Kaz, then that would make sense. The matchup was nothing special. Oh, and I should note that all night long, Impact was advertising Angle vs RVD in what seemed like every five minutes. Based on how much they overhyped this match, you almost expect a 20 minute clinic. Then again, knowing TNA, they will probably do a 6-7 minute match.

Match #5: Gunner vs Eric Young for the TV Championship
I don't know which character is dumber in Young or Gunner? Young actually thinks he is the TV Champ while Gunner actually came to the ring with the old TNA World Title he stole last week. Young tells him to do the Fingerpoke of Doom. Gunner takes the bait and all he has to do is cover him to win the match, but Young pulls out his magic bag of tricks and lands a rollup to win the match and become the new TV Champ. Wow.....just wow. This is almost physically hurting my brain as to how idiotic this all is. Ok, well I have to be fair because this could be a developing storyline for Gunner, since I really don't care about Young. Still, Gunner beats Daniels cleanly but can't beat Santino's less funny distant cousin? I am just amazed to see the TV belt actually getting used. The match lasted about 10 seconds, because everyone knows wrestling matters.

Winner via pinfall and NEW TV Champ: Eric Young

Match #6: Kurt Angle vs RVD
I don't know which blows my mind more, Jarrett asking RVD to do his bidding or RVD actually accepting a favor from an Immortal member? That would be like Bowser convincing Mario to kidnap Princess Peach. It could be shades of a heel turn for RVD, but wouldn't be surprised if this never gets mentioned again. The Jarretts were on commentary for this match, because as you all know, the Jarretts equal ratings....... Now, to be fair, this was the best match of the night, but with the overhype Impact used all night long for this match, the match didn't equal the hype. Sorry, but I saw Christian vs Randy Orton put on a way better matchup this week. Plus, the match was what I predicted, around 5-7 minutes, how disappointing because it was decent for what it was worth, but would have liked to see more. The finish comes when RVD misses the Frogsplash and then Angle hits the Angle Slam (TM, yeah I know the Angle/copyright jokes are getting old, but that's what happens when you say something so stupid) for the clean win. The show ends with Angle staring down Jeff from a distance. What is that, like the 1,000,000th staredown between Angle and Jarrett this year?

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle

Overall Impression:
Well, it didn't take long for Impact to go back to their old TNA tricks. Then again, I have to be fair because this is a lot better than some of their other episodes, so does that mean that below average tapings of Impact are better than before? Well, I am not sure about that. There was a decent match in the main event, but there was a lot of stupid moments around. There was more wrestling matches, but the quality of a lot of these matches wasn't really there and most of the matches were uneventful. Really, this week's Impact was just boring. So boring that I almost feel asleep while watching it. It is amazing how Impact is pushing for a new image while they showed tonight that they are still TNA because just a lot of silliness and stupidity is still going around. Why is the zombie storyline between Love and Winter still going on, and what is the point? Why is Young not funny anymore? Why is the Pope all the way in the lower card rankings? Where was Crimson/Joe tonight? In fact, this goes back to what I have said about TNA in the past, too many storylines. There is so much stuff going on that they are literally cramming episodes, and they still don't even get to other storylines that are also established on the show. Why is it that is seems Anderson/Sting is taking a backseat to Jarrett/Angle? They are fighting for the world title, while the Jarrett feud is a fued that just won't die. Impact is almost desperate with how they keep shoving the Jarrett/Angle feud at you since it eats up the most time on the show. I generally find the best episodes of Impact when there is less Jarrett/Angle business going around. Last week's episodes was pretty decent and they weren't on there as much. This feud needs to die, because they need to move on and we need to see something new for both of them. That is going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review and tonight's show. A SD review is up in the air for this week, but if it happens, it happens. Also, my little tribute to the Macho Man Randy Savage is now available, so check it out and please share some of you experiences as a wrestling fan of one of the all time greats. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time and WE'RE NOT WORTHY!!!

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