WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Smackdown Review 3/2/12 (Chaos Emerald City Massacre)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Smackdown 3/2/12. How do things go when WWE visits the Emerald City? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Sheamus as he plays to the Seattle crowd. Sheamus says Daniel Bryan has changed ever since he won the WHC. Sheamus quickly notes that Bryan's actions reminded him a lot of himself when he won the WWE Championship a few years ago. Sheamus said he became a bully, something he despises. I just figured out Sheamus' next rivalry. Sheamus vs Biff Tannen. I would watch that. Anyway, Sheamus says he will knock some sense into Bryan at WrestleMania. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero interrupt. Dolph talks about how he should be in the main event of WM. The two would exchange some jokes. So, Vickie is experienced? Is that what they're calling it these days? Anyway, Teddy Long arrives and makes it Dolph vs Sheamus to open up the show. A very basic opening. I like how Sheamus at least addressed his reasons for wanting to go up against Bryan, other than the fact that CM Punk already had an opponent. In many ways, Bryan is acting like a bully…..A nerdy bully. What mad scientist created that? Regardless, at least we are getting into the basics of this rivalry. 

Match #1: Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler

This was a pretty good match to open up the show. It's funny how the internet is quick to call a screw up by Michael Cole, but never mention any of Josh Matthew's mistakes. For the record, Vickie was associated for Dolph's WHC reign, so Josh made a mistake. Anybody remember that WHC reign? A bathroom break lasted longer than that title reign. Anyway, it seems Dolph is about to win. He has the sleeper applied. Sheamus is fading……fading……fading…..fading….RISING……fading……and, he's free. What, did you really think he would submit? The finish comes when Jack Swagger arrives and Sheamus immediately takes him out. Oh yeah, Swagger is the most threatening US Champion ever…..*sigh*. Sheamus counters the sleeper hold with the White Noise. If you remember Finlay's Celtic Cross, Sheamus is now calling it the White Noise. Not a big fan of the name, but it doesn't matter. I still like what I was calling it, the Celtic Plunge. 

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus

Backstage scene with Teddy, John Laurinaitis, and David Otunga. Roboinaitis wants to be the bigger man, so he demands an apology. What? That's what I said, what? Teddy says he won't apologize since he felt Big Johnny deserved it. It was announced that Teddy would run Raw next week. In exchange, Johnny Five takes over SD for next week. Yeah, I gotta stop coming up with so many nicknames for Laurinaitis, but these are too easy? Teddy decides to book Otunga in a match against Great Khali on Raw next week. Oh yeah, better mark your calendars for that 20 second confrontation. Don't want to miss that. Watch out for these guys. 

Match #2: Heath Slater vs Santino

This was your comedy match of the night. Santino hits the Cobra and he wins. Not much to say here, soyouknowidontknow. 

Winner via pinfall: Santino

Backstage scene with Natalya and Eve. Natalya talks about how she's disgusted with Eve's actions towards Zack Ryder. Eve says that Ryder stinks. I'm gonna stop for a second and ask you what you think will happen next? That's right, a dancing scene breaks out between the ladies. By doing this, they learn about unity and how it isn't right to judge others. Yes, we really can learn something from these……Okay, I just bulls****ing you. Natalya farts and says that's what really stinks. I still don't like this farting gimmick. Natalya must really be a patient person to somehow do this with a straight face every week….Or a constipated face…..ahhhh….MOVING ALONG!!!

Match #3: Eve vs Natalya

Did the commentators really just talk about IBS? That's….that's…..WHY? The finish comes when Eve gets a rollup for the victory. Not a whole lot to say here. I'm not a fan of Cole and his bad fart jokes, but Eve seems to be playing her character decently. Maybe she was made to be a heel? 

Winner via pinfall: Eve

Cody Rhodes comes out and talks about Big Show's pathetic WM record. Show finally arrives, but Cody leaves through the audience. Yeah, Cody is such a bad-ass. Show says he wants to laugh at himself, but wants Cody to join him in the ring. Come on, Cody. Show just wants to be your friend. You can always use more friends. Teddy arrives and says it will be Cody vs Show at WM for the IC title. Based on how things have been going, it's not a surprise that this match is going to happen. It will be interesting to see how this will work, considering the size difference. Hopefully, they use this match to make Cody look good. Show with the IC title does nothing for him while Cody is a young, up and comer. Yeah, Cody needs the victory more, despite the storyline of how Show drops the ball at WM. Someone has butterfingers……D'OH. 

Match #4: Big Show vs Mark Henry

Cody has now gotten enough courage to call the match with the commentators. You know things are not going well for Henry when you hit your finisher and you still can't win. At least Henry got one chance to shine for this company, but it's clear things have changed. The finish comes when Show hits the KO punch. 

Winner via pinfall: Big Show

Match #5: Drew McIntyre vs Justin Gabriel

There was an early backstage scene between Drew and Teddy. Teddy finally says if Drew loses tonight, he's fired. Drew once again fails to get the job done. Gabriel hits the 450 Splash and Drew is out of there. Drew is actually crying once Teddy has fired him. Well, it's that time once again where the internet will complain in how Drew is getting the shaft. Getting the shaft? That doesn't sound good. I want to see where they are going with this and it could turn out to be a good thing. Maybe Drew gets a new gimmick or Laurinaitis brings him over to Raw? Who really knows? I say don't be quick to judge until you see the development. Of course, things can go from bad to worse with Drew, but we'll cross that bridge if or when that time comes. Hopefully, that's not the case. 

Winner via pinfall: Justin Gabriel

WWE loved the Rock/John Cena segment from Raw so much that they showed the whole thing on the Raw recap. I love it when you dedicated a 1/6 of the show to show a random clip. Seriously, pop in a video game and just wait for this segment to end. Hey, I just got a Chaos Emerald!!!

Oh, I forgot to mention the backstage interview with Randy Orton before the McIntyre match. All Orton said was he was going to collect. Collect what? All the Pokemon? Cakes and ice cream? I like Randy as an in-ring performer, but I feel his promos are getting worse. 

Randy Orton: I'm Randy Orton and I will say cheesy one liners…..FEAR ME AND MY BLANDNESS!!!

I brought up this backstage scene because for a few years. Mainly to make fun of it. Come on, it's pretty laughable. The other reason was because Bryan would have a backstage interview as well. Bryan says he's still the same guy before winning the WHC and has the home field advantage. With that said, time for the bad guy to mock his home state/town/country. You son of a bitch!!! Nobody makes fun of my home state……NOBODY!!! Hey, I can play along. 

Match #6: Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton

Bryan came out to a mixed reaction, but it was nice to see his state represent him tonight. That's saying a lot since I have been to many WWE shows around these parts and it tends to be a very casual based audience. I like the long stretch of fans who had the "YES" signs. Booker T is angry at Bryan, so he will no longer call him D-Bry. Oh no, anything but that!!! Take anything away, but not that!!! For most of this match, Bryan was getting his ass handed to him. Bryan would fight back, but Randy wouldn't back down. The finish comes when the Kane pyro goes off and Mr. Double Mask arrives to crash the party. Bryan uses this chance to escape, but not before some last minute stupidity by AJ. Seriously, you're 100 feet from you. Just leave the damn ring. Once she leaves, Kane and Randy beat the crap out of each other. They seem evenly matched, but Kane finally gets to laugh last since he hits the Chokeslam. Kane goes over to Randy and says Welcome back.  No, I won't start singing. The show should end this way, but we get another last second scene with Laurinaitis and Otunga. They talk about how Kane is pissed off and are thinking about putting him in a match against Aksana. Is it too early to hand out the award for Douchebag of the Year? 

So, the main question being asked if Kane vs Randy is a WM match? I think it's very likely after tonight. I don't know why, but I kinda like this idea. Think about it? Randy is pretty sick and twisted, but maybe Kane wants Randy to be the old Randy. The Randy that was more deranged and psychotic. The Randy that was a bad guy, not the "good guy" he is these days. Thus, Kane gets someone else to embrace toe hate. That might be a bit of a stretch, but it's just a thought. I just noticed something. If Kane vs Randy does happen at WM, that would be the second year in a row where Cena's rival before his WM rival would trade off with Randy. Last year, it was CM Punk, whom had a rivalry with Cena, but that immediately changed when they wanted Miz vs Cena. This is probably coincidental, but it would be shocking if this ends up happening next year. I know people are getting peeved that Kane seems to be in a position where he's losing his rivalries and is putting over more talent instead of himself, but isn't Kane the veteran? Shouldn't the veterans help the younger stars? Reckon, Randy and Cena don't need help from Kane to do that, but he can contribute in some fashion. Kane's best years are behind him and is there for nostalgia and to help others, but that's just my opinion. It's possible Kane can get another run and I would probably be open to the idea, but Kane isn't really there for that. I probably just pissed off a bunch of Kane fans, but you have to admit that he's getting up there and his career is slowly ticking away. 

No Contest

Overall Impression:

I found SD to be average this week, but I also found it mildly entertaining. There wasn't a lot about the show that was amazing, but it was decent at times. This was mostly a filler show, but they did bring a couple of new things. The obvious one is Kane attacking Randy. Like I said, I think we are getting a match between the two, but we will see how things go. The matches were fair tonight. I liked the opening match, but the action portion does go a bit south after the first match. If it weren't for the CM Punk/Christ Jericho segment on Raw this past week, I would say SD was the best wrestling show this week. Even with that said, SD was a fair show to watch. Things are getting a little more clearer as we get closer and closer to WM. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.