WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 7/30/12 (1001 Recaps)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 7/30/12. After the events of Raw's 1000th episode, what did CM Punk have to say? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with us being informed that part of the Raw set caught on fire earlier today. It appears nobody got hurt, meaning it's time to bring out the pun-o-meter and do a Top Five puns for this scene. Okay, here we go….

5. Michael Bay had another orgasm

4. Jeff Hardy really meant it when he said he was burnt out

3. This is what happens when Kane doesn't have sex

2. Hey CM Punk, this fire burns, right?

1. Kane wanted the extra crispy

We're off to a terrific start, don't you think? CM Punk comes out to start the show. He immediately calls out Jerry Lawler for his fanboy commentary. He claims that he was sending Rock a message and last time he checked, the show does NOT revolve around a part-time performer. He also says the Rock showed him a lack of respect when he confronted him last week. To Punk's credit, he totally has a point. What it boiled down to was Punk was sick of Dwayne Johnson making the whole show about him, so he made sure the show ended the way it should, with the WWE Champion. Based on Punk's comments, I expect him to attack Cena. I've been saying for months that Punk has lost so much focus from other people. Big Show interrupts and he took the attention last week…..or some crap like that, I really wasn't paying attention. John Cena arrives and fights Show, while Punk just sits back and watches the puppets dance. The new GM of Raw, AJ, arrives and announces Cena vs Show in a #1 Contender match. The winner will face Punk at SummerSlam. This was a good opening. Punk shows those anti-hero characteristics that I was hoping to see. He came off sinister, but understanding in his promo. It doesn't make him out to be the bad guy….At least for the time being. The delivery in his promo was also pretty good. 

Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs Santino

Since the nostalgic boner is gone from a week ago, we can actually show longer matches on this show. After all, they do have an extra hour to work with *cough*. This was an okay match, but it was given a fair amount of time. The finish comes when Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker for the clean victory. After the match, Del Rio claims that everybody is beneath him. Well, it's nice to know what Del Rio thinks of Ricardo Rodriguez. 

Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio

Brodus Clay is about to dance, but Vickie Guerrero arrives and says she can dance better. Haven't we done this schtick earlier this year? You know, part of me wonders what Eddie Guerrero is thinking when he looks down on the heavens, but I can't blame him. May you rest in peace, Eddie. Damien Sandow interrupts and claims that I is a genius, ATTTTAAAAAAACK!!! Damien takes out Brodus to end the segment. Never piss off a smart person, or else you will get reduced to a dancing, fat-man. I liked this segment. I think it was nice to see Damien confront other insane/silly gimmicks in the WWE. Daniel Bryan and AJ had a quick backstage scene. AJ claims that Bryan only wanted to marry her to have her committed. Wait, what? I'm not really familiar with this, but what would you gain by having your spouse thrown in Arkham Asylum? I guess the argument could be that Bryan was thinking of a way to get AJ away from him, but wouldn't a phone call change all of that? I probably should shut up now. It will be Daniel vs Sheamus tonight, but don't worry. I'm sure we can squeeze in Dolph getting more brain damage for this bit. 

Match #2: Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan; Street Fight

We sure are getting a lot of video recaps of last week, don't you think? As voted by the fans, we get a street fight, but don't you think this poll was bs? Think about it? The three choices were street fight, no holds barred, and falls count anywhere. In many ways, these matches are pretty much the same match (with minor tweaks). I swear that the next poll WWE will post you will be either a ladder match, a ladder match, or a ladder match…..VOTE NOW!!! Anyway, this was a pretty good match to watch, despite the false advertising of "YOU choose the match". The finish comes when Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the victory. I guess we will see Dolph get his brain damage on SD this week. 

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus

After the match, Bryan wants a doctor to treat him….Which is ironic considering what happens later in the evening. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth arrive and say Bryan has no place in this ring. Bryan goes over and pets Little Jimmy on the head, only for CHILD ABUSE to occur. Bryan brings out mental workers to take Truth away, but AJ arrives and she wants them to take Bryan away. Bryan is taken to the back, where he would proceed to be hilarious for the rest of the night. 

Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs Titus O'Neil

I think this pretty much sums up the match….

After the shoe toss, Titus follows up with Clash of the Titus for the victory. AW might be looking for a new gig after tonight. Maybe he can have a career as a stand-up comedian? I guess we will find out in a few days what happens to AW. 

Winner via pinfall: Titus O'Neil

Match #4: Heath Slater vs Randy Orton

I love Punk's smugness in his scene with Cena. At it appears we have Legend Killer vs Reverse Legend Killer. Orton's entrance walk/pose took longer than the actual match. Randy wins with the RKO. Now that he's back, the IWC is up in joy since they have something else to complain about. 

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

Daniel is getting asked questions from a doctor. Bryan starts to flip out with the 'Yes' chant. I don't know why, but part of me thinks somebody is under that table, which is why Bryan was screaming so much. It should be called the orgasm chant. Later on in the evening, they do the blob/image test to Bryan. With the way the doctor stacked up the images, it looked like a goat-face. I personally thought it was Link with the bunny hood, but what the hell would I know. Bryan starts to think Charlie Sheen put this all together. Yeah, he probably did…..While counting the millions of dollars WWE gave him. This finally ends with the doctor saying Bryan is angry and bitter, but he's completely sane. Bryan is allowed to leave, but not before the lights go red and Kane arrives. He will be Bryan's anger management counselor. For some reason, I want to see them continue this bit. Bryan's at a restaurant and they screw up his order. Bryan yells at the owners, but Kane arrives to attack him. It would be stupid, but it would also be hilarious. Daniel was the funniest character tonight. 

Match #5: Chris Jericho and Christian vs Dolph Ziggler and Miz

Since Jericho and Christian are teaming up, I wonder if shrinkage will be an issue? Dolph and Christian had a minor miscue when Dolph went for that legdrop. I think they covered it up pretty well, but something tells me somebody on the internet is writing, "Oh, Dolph and Christian made a botch. What a bunch of idiots!!! They don't know what the f*** they're doing. Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!!!" The finish comes when Christian gives Miz an thumb to the eye, which allows Jericho to hit the Codebreaker for the victory. After the match, Dolph takes out Jericho with the MITB briefcase. I think that Jericho and Dolph will end up having a match that puts the briefcase on the line. I think that could be interesting. As far as the booking went for this match, I was perfectly fine with it. It protected everyone and the match was fun, so I was fine with it.

Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho and Christian

Match #6: Tensai vs Tyson Kidd

Tyson makes it close, but Tensai is too much. Tensai wins with the Back Splash. After the match, Tensai continues to attack Tyson. The ref reverses the decision and Tyson ends up winning the match via DQ. Since Tensai lost, it's time to kill Sakamoto for the third time this month. Big deal, he has cat blood in his veins. They really are running out of ideas for Tensai since he's having issues with Tyson. In the meantime, Tyson is actually doing something.

Winner via ref decision: Tyson Kidd

Match #7: John Cena vs Big Show; #1 Contender match to WWE Championship

Punk was on commentary for this match. Punk continues to call out King's commentary. I know people complain about Michael Cole's commentary, but King's commentary has been pretty weak for quite some time. In fact, I would say King's commentary has been pretty bad for the last 5-7 years. He does has his moments, but there was a day where King was awesome on commentary. Why is it that Cole gets slammed during his commentary, but nobody says anything about King's commentary? I guess it's because he was around during the attitude era, and you know the internet can NEVER say anything bad about that particular era. I probably should stop before I piss somebody off, but I think I may have already done that. So, the match continues and Cena is once again more powerful than a locomotive, blah blah blah. Yeah, you've seen this song and dance before. The finish comes when Show pushes Cena towards Punk. Cena is about to hit the AA on Show, but Punk gets in the ring and attacks Cena. After the match, Punk kicks Show in the skull. Punk claims that nobody is the #1 Contender and they are both losers. Punk leaves the ring, but not before AJ arrives and puts Cena and Show in a championship match for SummerSlam. Yeah, so I was right again….sigh. The show ends with Punk being angry with AJ's decision. I personally was fine with everything in this scene….until the ending. Punk came off as an anti-hero for most of the night, but instantly looks like a heel when he complained about the ruling of the match. If Punk was a tweener/anti-hero, he would say he welcomes both challengers because he will just beat them both at the same time. This kinda bothered me a bit, but I guess there's nothing I can really do about it. The respect part Punk talked about was okay, but it would've been better for Punk to welcome the match, not be a coward about it. 

No Contest

Overall Impression:

I thought Raw was pretty decent tonight. It wasn't amazing, but I wouldn't call it terrible either (Cue the smarks). Even though they went way overboard with clips from last week, I felt there was a good mixture of storytelling and action. Most of the matches did seem slightly longer since they have more time to work with. I would eventually like to see them not go overboard with clips since you want to take full advantage of three hour shows, but it's a working process. Still, do we really need to see Triple H confront Brock Lesnar…..TWICE!!! In fact, they brought up several topics 2-4 times. Was that really necessary? I hope they try to fix this for future shows, or else it looks kinda silly to turn Raw into a three hour show every week. Despite those hiccups, I thought it was a pretty fun show. Bryan's testing was pretty funny, Punk said some interesting stuff, and the show featured some okay wrestling matches. I enjoyed the show, but I will admit about the predictable nature of tonight. It was pretty much set up for Punk/Cena/Show to happen at SS, so it was delaying it. I think Raw was worth checking out because of Punk and Bryan, but everything else seemed pretty standard. Then again, you might get reminded with 2-3 recaps on next week's show. Again, I really should stop cuz I know I'm gonna piss somebody off. Not what I would call a watcher, but it was a fair/average evening. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.