Thursday, July 19, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 7/19/12 (Open Fight Night = Aces and Eights Raping)


What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 7/19/12. Can TNA continue the small momentum or is it time to drop the ball for the 124,359th time? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Hulk Hogan's stitches, I kid you not. They showed twitter pics of Hogan's kayfabe injury, which was caused by Aces and Eights. Hogan wouldn't make an appearance tonight, but he still manages to find a way to get on the show. Why, you may ask? Because Hogan wanted an easy $50,000. As I'm writing this, Hogan is counting his money……son of a-. 

James Storm comes out and talks BFG Series, how he hates Bobby Roode, and how Aces and Eights has got a stiff warning for their little invasion. Storm challenges Kurt Angle to a match. Oh yeah, it's Open Fight Night…..did anyone else remember that? Cuz I sure as hell didn't. Anyway, the match doesn't happen because Aces and Eights took out Angle. I love the line they uttered at the end, "Aces and Eights, motherf*****!!!". With the way things are going, I feel Aces and Eights are gonna have to choke a bitch. This seems more like an invasion angle. I thought this group was only gonna target Hogan and Sting, but the Kurt attack shows me that they could be overtaking the show. In other words, we are possibly witnessing NWO reincarnation #305. Joking aside, it will be interesting to see where this is all going. 

Match #1: Samoa Joe vs Pope; BFG Series match
We take a break from the main plot of the show to focus on the BFG Series. Ugh….Seeing this match is giving me horrible flashbacks of their rivalry from a year ago. Luckily, the match was kept short. Joe kept checking his jaw during this match. I think Pope kicked him in the face and probably chipped a tooth. Either that, or Joe was going for a Samoan Pirate deal. This is the inspiration for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Joe wins this match with a submission hold. With the victory…..Joe retakes the lead? Didn't he have the lead last week? Oh, that's because TNA didn't explain how Storm took the lead over the weekend. Storm had 43 points, while Joe had 37. There was some other changes in the BFG standings, but if TNA isn't gonna explain the house show points (Which I still think is stupid), I'm not gonna bother. Anyway, Joe NOW has 47 points in case you were lost. 

Winner via submission: Samoa Joe

Match #2: Jeff Hardy vs Robbie E; BFG Series match
Before Hardy can talk, Robbie E interrupts because…….Hardy's face-paint isn't cool? Yeah, I don't care. This match is pretty forgettable. The finish comes when Robbie T gets involved, so this makes Hardy focus on Robbie T. Did you watch this fight sequence? It was really bad, and I mostly blame Robbie T for this. He kinda looked like the boxer in Wii Sports, except you don't throw a single punch. Then again, I suppose that was the point because this gave Robbie E a countout victory. You get 5 points for a countout victory? That seems like a good chunk of points for doing absolutely nothing. This should seriously become Robbie E's gimmick during the BFG Series. The Countout King, currently in production. Why do I get the strange feeling the smarks are gonna overly complain about this scene? It's just a hunch…….Oh well. 

Winner via countout: Robbie E

It's time for the Gut Check…..ohhhhhhhhh noooooooooo!!! Sam Shaw is tonight's competitor. He has a generic look, cuts a generic promo, and gets a generic beat-down by Aces and Eights. Yeah, Shaw is definitely going places, like the generic unemployment line. I'm kinda glad they did this. I guess after weeks of miss potential with the Gut Check, Aces and Eights decided to give you a break. I like these guys already. 

Match #3: Mr. Anderson vs AJ Styles; BFG Series
Tazz said that Styles can make a mistake and it still looks awesome….

Yeah, I beg to differ. After a screwy head-scissors (D'oh, I missed!!!), the finish comes when Anderson counters the Styles Clash……with a pinfall? Yep…..a pinfall. I'm guessing it was supposed to be a rollup, but it sure didn't look that way on television. Yeah, it looks bad when you see it. After the match, Claire shows up and bitches out Styles. Once again, she gives a really bad acting performance. This is the norm for her, so you might as well accept that this is the best she can do. She confirms that the child is AJ's because they were both drunk and they had a loooooooooonnnnng night. Don't drink large amounts of alcohol kids, cuz if you do, you will end up in a terrible, TNA storyline. She even showed photos of their night of homewrecking. In every photo, AJ looked completely passed out, while Claire was smiling in every shot. For someone that was supposedly drunk during all of this, she can still operate a camera and her eyes are wide open. Yeah, who took these photos? Yes, this storyline gets worse and worse as it continues. I mean, we have plot-holes up the ass with this whole thing. These segments are so bad, but you can't take your eyes off of it. The IWC will beg to differ since they probably created five million forums to talk about how much they hate this segment. I can agree that it's hammy, over the top, and completely ridiculous, but I find it funny since I want to see all the stupid stuff they can add to this segment. Let the stupidity flow through you….

Muhahahahaha

Winner via not giving a s***: Mr. Anderson

Match #4: RVD vs Christopher Daniels; BFG Series match
Daniels wins this match after RVD misses Rolling Thunder. Yeah, time for that WRESTLING LOGIC since the referee didn't bother to look at Daniels' feet since they were under and over the ropes. I don't see nothing, alalalalalala. I see nothing, alalalalalalala.

Winner via shenanigans: Christopher Daniels

Austin Aries mocks Roode's attitude from last week. Then again, it looked like he dived into his inner, Macho Man Randy Savage. Joseph Parks is talking to Garett Bischoff about legal advice. Yeah, cuz you want this evil spawn to know legal stuff. We question who was the guy that Joseph turned into when he delivered the Black Hole Slam to Bully Ray. Joseph denies all claims of a split personality. This is another storyline that's getting really silly, but it's not the worst transition Abyss has gone through….

Match #5: Bully Ray vs Magnus; BFG Series match
I think I just figured out Magnus' gimmick. He has multiple personality disorder since he will be a good guy one week, but an asshole the next. This match wasn't too bad. The finish comes when Magnus misses the elbow drop, in which Bully counters with the solo 3D/Diamond Cutter/RKO/Cutter for the victory. With the win, everyone involved with the BFG Series officially has points. 

Winner via pinfall: Bully Ray

Match #6: Bobby Roode vs Austin Aries
I should mention that TNA signed Chavo Guerrero and he will arrive next week. I'm surprised this signing didn't happen sooner. Chavo has always been a talented worker, but he isn't what I would call a major signing. Still, It will be interesting to see what he can do. Roode vowed he would call out Aries and…..He did. Yeah, they kinda forgot one of the concepts for OFN since they didn't defend one of the championships. I guess if the Hogans can't determine who gets the title shot, then nobody does. This was probably the best match of the night. I really like these Bobby/Aries matches. I really want to see this continue for a while longer. The finish comes when Aces and Eights arrive and attack A Double. Tazz and Tenay think they have it all figured out since Bobby is enjoying the attack. After they have done the dirty work, Bobby wants to shake the hands of Aces and Eights, but they start to attack Bobby. The show ends with Aces and Eights continuing the assault. I love Tazz's line of Total Nonstop Anarchy. I bet he had that saved up for a whole week. Thank you, brain. So, I mentioned in the beginning that it seems an invasion is occurring in TNA. I know veteran wrestling fans are getting tired of seeing this storyline, but I always tell people to give it a chance before judging it. I would like to see them add a different spin to the invasion storyline. Right now, I'm at least interested to see what Aces and Eights can do. Of course, this stable can turn into a gigantic face palm, but we will get to that if it happens. 

No Contest

Overall Impression:
I would consider this a pretty average episode of TNA. This was definitely a night for establishing Aces and Eights. Before tonight, this stable was only targeting the retirement home, but that completely changed. I think they wanted to establish Aces and Eights as a dominate stable that want to overtake TNA.  I personally wasn't big on the first hour of the show. The matches were forgettable and the flow of the show wasn't really there. The second hour was improved since I felt the development of certain storylines were better and the match quality improved. This isn't what I would call a watcher, since tonight was all about Aces and Eights, but it was passable. Tonight also didn't fully utilize OFN. The Gut Check got glanced over and there was no championship match, but this strangely might have been the best edition of OFN ever. It's funny how you take away certain concepts of a gimmick and it makes the show better. I would keep going on about this, but I will stop before I piss off people who enjoyed the traditional OFN. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. And if you wonder why this review is done early, it's because Batman's awesome. 

5 comments:

  1. Tonight was my first time watching impact and I thought it was ok. I do agree that the last match was the best of them. I'll still watch, just for no good reason, but I'll be preferring WWE.

    I've gotten hooked on your reviews, they were pretty much why I decided to watch TNA. Keep up the good work.

    Side note: Batman is awesome and comics Bane is better.

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    1. Well, I try to be as fair as possible when reviewing this....Despite some people not thinking that. I'm glad you appreciate the madness I post.

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  2. i just realized this:
    i wonder if it is a coincidence that impact getting better coincides with us seeing less and less of the KOs...?

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  3. I have figured out the secrets to Aces and Eights.... its all our frustrations of TNA manifested in human form(s)

    No TV title challenge tonight whoops

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