WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 8/2/12

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 8/2/12. How do things turn out this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Austin Aries and Kenny King vs Bobby Roode and Zema Ion

We open up the show with a brawl. I found this pointless, especial considering that the match would begin in seconds. I guess you can argue that it was designed to show tension, but I thought they did it since Earl Hebner was preoccupied with Madison Rayne…..ewwww. Tazz said, "Keep your cool there, Double A"…

This was a fair match to open up the show. The finish comes when Kenny hits a finisher on Zema for the victory. 

Winner via pinfall: Kenny King and Austin Aries

Sting's in the ring and calls out James Storm. Sting says Storm could be connected with Aces and Eights, but Storm says he doesn't need help to take people out. Kurt Angle comes out and invites A & 8 to arrive during the Storm/Kurt match later tonight. The suspense commences….No, no it doesn't. Christopher Daniels and Kaz continue to mock AJ Styles, who is away to promote TNA in Australia. Wait, did Daniels just pull an appletini out of a locker? What, is there some appletini fairy running around? As random as this is, I find it hilarious. This should become a thing, where Daniels just pulls out an appletini out of thin air. It would be a hell of a lot more interesting than another episode of All My Retards. Speaking of which, Claire Lynch is present tonight. 

Match #2: Bully Ray vs Robbie E; BFG Series

……….oh, I'm sorry. I zoned out…..for some reason. Bully wins with the Bully Cutter. Bully says he will be at ringside during the Storm/Angle match. This seems to be the running theme for tonight. If only they had Phoenix Wright on the case……or Harvey Birdman. I'll take the case!!!

Winner via pinfall: Bully Ray

Match #3: Madison Rayne vs Mickie James vs Tara vs Gail Kim; #1 Contender match for KO title

Tessmacher is on commentary. In the meantime, Earl seems to be going for seconds with Madison. Hey, old people need loving too…..I apologize for putting that image in your head. Did Gail and Madison do a chest bump? I don't even know what to make of this. And since people are always quick to call a botch/miscue, there was some miscommunication between Madison and Mickie. The finish comes when Tara had a rollup on Madison, but Earl gives Madison the victory. To make this scene look even worse, Madison's music hits immediately, thus taking the mystery/surprise factor away. Think about it? When the match ended, Tenay and Tessmacher were talking about how great Tara is, but Madison's theme is already playing. I know they are having Earl hand these victories to Madison, but this has happened two weeks in a row and it just looks sloppy and lazy. Whoever designed the choreography for this ought to be fired. Then again, he/she probably got a promotion for this. Back to the main topic in hand, it made sense for Madison to get this victory. People might not like her storyline, but at least she has one. 

Winner via boy toy and NEW #1 Contender to KO title: Madison Rayne

Sting and Brooke Hogan are talking about Hulk Hogan and A & 8. Brooke receives a threat from the stable via a letter. Oh no, what am I gonna do with playing cards? I'm sorry, but I feel that Brooke has contributed nothing since coming into the show. Her character and presence just seems……there. Speaking of just being there, ODB and Eric Young show up. Why? WHY? Are you really gonna bother asking why? 

Match #4: Chavo Guerrero vs Kid Kash

Hernandez and Garbage Man were at ringside for this match. Chavito hits the Three Amigos, and follows up with a Frogsplash for the victory. Chavo still has it. I never saw major star potential with Chavo, but I always felt WWE never took full advantage of him. Sure, he was always in Eddie's shadow by comparison, but it isn't like Chavo knew how to talk or tell a story. I look forward to seeing how he can do in TNA.

Winner via pinfall: Chavo Guerrero

Dixie Carter does some bad acting in her own right……sigh. It should be required for these people to take acting lessons. Some of these scenes are just painful to watch. I've seen bad acting from movies where I was having fun with it (The Room), but this…….This is just sad. Kurt is talking to Devon, Garett Bischoff and…..Wes Brisco? Yeah, this is the son of Jerry/Gerald Brisco. Anyway, it appears Wes wants Kurt to get him into TNA. Okay, so a new guy shows up, looks like an asshole, and is way too smooth in his first outing? And nobody is wondering if he has anything to do with Aces and Eights? WRESTLING LOGIC is funny sometimes. I personally hope he is connected with A & 8. I don't see him being the leader, but he can be one of the other members of the stable. It's funny how Wes made more of an impression in eight-seconds than Garett has done in eight months. What's wrong with this picture? 

Oh……more Claire Lynch…..AWWWWWWW!!! Daniels and Kaz throw her a baby shower. I love how Daniels and Kaz announced this in the beginning of the show, but Claire acts completely surprised when she hears the news. It's like she isn't paying attention to her surroundings while she's acting. I know I'm beating a dead horse, but Claire's acting is really bad. I'm sorry, but you have to suck pretty hard when you make Dixie more competent with a microphone. I guess TNA pays her by the hour, which is why she doesn't give a s*** during these scenes. Anyway, they give her gifts. Claire tells Styles that he needs to do the right thing. I'm sorry, but the right thing would be for some guy from the TNA creative to go to the ring and say, "F*** it, we are pulling the plug on this storyline. We apologize for wasting your time". Instead, it continues. So, that would be like that same guy going out there and saying, "We love this storyline. What? You didn't want this horrible actress on your TV screen? You didn't want something that had a billion plotholes? Well, F************* YOU!!!". Did Sting and Joseph Parks just say the term "kayfabe"? Well, I think that's enough for one day…..

Match #5: James Storm vs Kurt Angle; BFG Series

For Hardcore Justice, we have three fatal 4-way matches lined up. Styles vs Daniels vs Kurt vs Samoa Joe will compete in a Ladder match, Storm vs Jeff Hardy vs Robbie E vs Bully in a Tables match, and RVD vs Anderson vs Pope vs Magnus in a Falls Count Anywhere match. The winners of these matches receive 20 points in the BFG series. Yeah, so at least they are holding true to the PPV name. That ladder match looks very intriguing. Anyway, Roode tells you to 'believe it' during this match. Is Naruto standing next to you? A number of TNA talents were present for this match since they wanted A & 8 to show up. Yeah, I'm sure the stable isn't stupid enough to jump in a fight where they are clearly outnumbered, but I digress. This was a pretty good match. The finish comes when Storm hits the Last Call Superkick and picks up the victory. With the win, Storm re-takes the lead in the BFG Series. After the match, Storm calls out the stable, but they don't show up. TNA didn't have enough money to pay for Aces and Eights this week, so that's why they weren't there. Bobby gets on the mic and says the group isn't showing up because Storm didn't need their help this week. A lot of finger pointing is done and the show ends with a brawl. Yeah, so they further dive into Storm being the leader of Aces and Eights. I expect them to do this for the next few weeks. I guess it can be interesting, but it could've been handled a little better. It isn't a bad idea, but I just can't get invested in this "Who's in control" deal. Let's give it some time. 

Winner via pinfall: James Storm

Overall Impression:

Another Impact, another week where I felt the show was just there. The show did have some decent matches and continued to build upon Aces and Eights, but it didn't seem like the most exciting evening. There was a couple of moments where I felt bored and really didn't care for what was happening. The Claire Lynch thing is ridiculous, Madison and Earl is weird, and I think TNA is overplaying their Ace and Eights hand. It's fine if you want to roll with an invasion storyline, but by focusing too much on the subject, you are taking all the fun out of it. You don't want to overexpose something. If you do that, it will eventually become old and boring. WWE is very guilty in this department as well. It's okay to talk about the stable, but it almost felt the full two hours was dedicated to the main storyline. What about a promo between Bobby and Aries? I thought that could've helped. I would mostly consider this an average episode of Impact (Maybe below average), but it did miss in a few areas. I just couldn't get excited about tonight's show. Maybe I wasn't up for reviewing this? Who knows. Luckily, I try not to take these reviews seriously. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.