WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 8/6/12 (WWE: Now with more car theft)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 8/6/12. Blah blah, generic intro, blah blah. Yeah, let's start the damn review already. 

We open up the show with AJ, who announces a couple of matches for tonight. CM Punk interrupts and apologizes for his actions, but still thinks AJ doesn't know what she's doing as the GM. Punk still pleads for AJ to change the match because WWE is trying to tell you that anti-hero Punk isn't gonna happen and he's gonna be heel Punk. John Cena comes out and says the normal, boy scout stuff. Do you ever feel that Cena has cut the same promo for years? To be fair, he does change it up, but it feels the same. Did Punk just say Cena's legs were gonna give out from delivering that AA to Show? I don't know if I should laugh or be sad at this point in time. People are gonna hate me after tonight. Big Show arrives…..yeah? AJ tells them not to fight. Yeah, I love how a 95-pound woman can hold off three grown men. Punk continues to demand respect, but AJ won't change the match. To add salt to the open wound, Punk will be put in a match immediately. The fans get to choose between Rey Mysterio, Kane, and Miz on SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Well, at least the voting is a little more open this time around…..somewhat. Yeah, so I wasn't really big on the opening. Last week showed some potential for that anti-hero character returning, but it's looking like it isn't gonna happen. Well, I might as well get used to this idea. At least a good chunk of casual fans haven't completely turned on Punk, seeing as how if you disagree with Cena, you're an automatic bad guy. What? You didn't know this? Yeah, it's apparently a new rule. Look it up sometime. 

Match #1: CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio

Okay, I can understand some of the complaints for tonight, but I don't see why people are complaining about this choice. I thought with Punk's heel promo that the majority of people would've voted for Kane. I would've been fine with either match regardless, but I'm kinda glad Rey won. Kane can still put on a fair match, but Punk/Rey put on some really good matches. What, so the IWC DOESN'T want to see wrestling matches? I'm just gonna face the realization that I will never understand the IWC. Anyway, I thought this was a good match. I've seen better Punk/Rey matches, but this was still fun to watch. The finish comes when Rey goes for the splash, but Punk gets his knees up. Punk hits the GTS and gets the clean victory. 

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs Christian

Because Del Rio couldn't keep his mouth shut, he gets thrown into this match. This match didn't last long since the cost of that rental car is through the roof. During Ricardo Rodriguez's distraction, Del Rio hits Christian with his boot. Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker for the victory. After the match, Sheamus steals Del Rio's car. Remember kids, stealing makes everything better….

What the hell am I talking about? You gotta love that WRESTLING LOGIC. Evil guy steals a car and is considered a criminal, but a good guy does it and is considered a saint. Well, it does teach people something. Never trust Ricardo with your car keys. 

Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio

Match #3: Randy Orton vs Big Show

You get your basic booking here. Show can't look weak going into a WWE Championship match, but we can't make Randy look weak at the same time. So, the only thing to do would be for this match to end in disqualification or countout. Well, WWE gave you one better. You get a DOUBLE countout. This isn't predictable at all……Yep. After the double countout, Randy hits the RKO on Show. Way to go, Super Snake. Super Snake? Suuuuper Snnnnnnaaaaaaaake!!!

Double Countout

Match #4: Ryback vs Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks

Since WWE thinks people won't remember this handicap match from a few weeks ago, you get to see it again. Just YouTube this and it's pretty much the same match. In fact, I'll do it for you. What's that? I can't find good video quality on this? Well, how the hell was I supposed to---

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

Match #5: Prime Time Players vs Primo and Epico

Because somebody in WWE read my article….Hey, I can dream. Anyway, because of Primo and Epico disappearing from this whole ordeal, they returned to take on the PTP. The PTP are about to retreat, but Kofi Kingston and R-Truth arrive. I like how Darren Young drags Epico back in the ring, turns around for no reason, and walks into the Backstabber. WRESTLING LOGIC two times in one night….At least for the time being. Ladies and Gentleman, your Derp of the Night is Darren Young. I expect a triple threat tag team match to happen. That could be interesting. 

Winner via pinfall: Primo and Epico

Damien Sandow takes out Brodus Clay because dancing is NOT sophisticated. That's what happens when you're a comedic character on this show. Seriously, go talk to Zack Ryder about this. The match never happened, so expect that to be Sandow's storyline. Did anybody call his mommy? I know, bad joke. Daniel Bryan has another hilarious backstage scene. Just look at his facial expressions? He might be the best character on this show. Bryan vs Kane will happen at SummerSlam. Kane's hoping this leads to one more night with AJ. 

Match #6: Kelly Kelly vs Eve

Since Kelly realized that she needs the WWE to even have a career, she returns tonight. I didn't think it was possible, but Kelly looks worse in the ring now than before. How's that possible? She wins with a Kelly Kelly finisher. 

Winner via management: Kelly Kelly

WWE Employee: Hey Shawn, we have three hour Raws and we need to eat up time. What do you recommend?

Shawn: Well…..I could go out there and eat up 20 minutes?

WWE Employee: GENIUS!!!

With that, HBK is now in the ring. He's about to talk about Triple H/Brock Lesnar, but Brock and Paul Heyman interrupt. Paul says Brock is gonna destroy Trips, while HBK thinks Trips is gonna win since he made this personal. Trips arrives to help out his friend, but Brock retreats. Brock actually talked this time. Brock says he will see Trips at SummerSlam, and he will see HBK before then. Hmmm, I wonder what he meant by that? DA DUH DAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, this was a pretty good segment. Still looking forward to this match and future confrontations. 

Match #7: Dolph Ziggler vs Alex Riley

It's the WWE Drinking Game. Take a shot every time King says Sheamus 'borrowed' Del Rio's car. Might even be more intense than the John Madden drinking game. During this match. Chris Jericho is on commentary and does a live Tout. Because Dolph got overwhelmed by the social media, Riley gets a rollup victory. I wonder what's going through Dolph's head at this very moment….

Dolph: Damn you, Tout!!! DAMN YOOOOOOOU!!!

Winner via pinfall: Alex Riley (He can brag about this on NXT for the rest of the week)

Match #8: Kane vs Miz

Because AJ felt sorry for Kane and Miz getting denied, they get to face each other. In a fair match, Kane wins with the Chokeslam. I know people are gonna complain about Miz losing here, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. If anyone ask, Kane isn't a face OR a heel. Kane is playing the role of……Kane. Only a few people can get away with that. 

Winner via pinfall: Kane

Match #9: John Cena vs Daniel Bryan

Sheamus finally brings back Del Rio's car, but it's a complete mess. What the hell did he do to it? It looks like he took a crap on it. Super Irishman went to take a Super Dump. Either way, vandalism is now supported by your fellow Irishman….

Sheamus' favorite video game is Grand Theft Auto. This has been a fun evening, don't you think? One thing I didn't mention was the Wade Barrett video package. It shows Wade with a beard. You know he's evil because he has a beard. They made Wade look like a bad-ass with the bare-knuckle fighting. It got me pretty excited to see his eventual return. So, Cena vs Bryan. The internet's most hated man vs the internet's favorite wrestler. Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo……This isn't gonna be pretty. Bryan does give him a fight, but Mr. Breakfast Cereal is just too much to overcome. Cena wins with the AA. After the match, Punk arrives to hoist up the WWE Championship. Cena pushes Punk away since Show arrives to fight. Cena about to hit AA on Show, but Punk knocks them both down. Punk then gets on commentary to shut Jerry "Cena Fanboy" Lawler up and talks about how he has done everything to be the good guy, but nobody seems to care. Punk is officially tired of making people happy, so it's all about him. Now, THAT'S the Punk I like to see. I didn't like how he opened the show, but I like it when Punk has that edginess to him. We need more of that on this show. Punk says the show will end with him standing tall, but it ends when Show gets back up and hits the KO punch on Punk and Cena. Oh yeah, he's still here. I don't know about you, but I keep forgetting that Show's involved with this storyline. I think between the three, that he is the least important. Then again, that's probably for the best. 

Winner via super powers: John Cena

Overall Impression:

I thought tonight's show was fair to watch. It wasn't great, but I was able to have fun with it. Yeah, I know I made a bunch of stupid jokes, but this is how I do things. I'm just trying to have a little fun. Still, I felt that this show was missing a couple of things from making it stand out. The action was okay, but I felt they could've done a little better. With nine matches on in three hours, you generally get a lot of mediocre and/or short matches that really don't stand out. Then again, I'm the kind of person who would rather have 4-5 great matches than 9 iffy matches. I also have to take in consideration that this is free TV and not PPV. It seemed that Raw did tone down the recaps….to an extent. Now, I was okay with certain parts of the show, but this isn't what I would call an episode that's worth watching. In many ways, you can probably consider this a filler episode. Yeah, sooooo…..I think I'm done here. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.