WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 2/23/12

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 2/23/12. How will TNA do this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Robert Roode. Roode talks about Sting and……oh, I'm sorry. This was the opening to last week's show. Let me try that one again. 

We open up the show with Robert Roode. Roode talks about Sting and how he's done with TNA. Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't screw that up. In all seriousness, how many times does Roode open up TNA? He opens up the show more than John Cena in WWE. Anyway, Roode talks about the tweet that Sting made over the weekend. Sting tweeted, "I'm done" and he was going to explain himself. Roode things Sting is finally leaving TNA and wants to be known as the guy who took Sting out the wrestling business. That pretty much does it for the opening. This will get addressed later in the show. There would be no mention or build up between Roode and James Storm. That could be disappointing, but it seems they want to do this Roode/Sting deal. HOORAY……For disappointment.

Match #1: Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Matt Morgan and Crimson; TNA Tag Titles match

Morgan and Crimson were arguing who screwed up their match. Oh, so I guess a former tag team will be facing off against each other in the near future. That's happened about 50 million times in pro wrestling, right? Honestly, I lost count. The finish comes when Joe and Magnus hit their combo finisher on Morgan for the victory. Are they going to decide on a name for this move? I'm gonna call it the Bland-bow Drop. See what I did? I'm funny……Eh, not really. After the match, Morgan and Crimson argue. Expect that Morgan/Crimson rivalry to be getting underway….Again. 

Winner via pinfall and still Tag Team Champs: Samoa Joe and Magnus

Brandon Jacobs arrives in the Impact Zone. That guy is so popular that the entire audience just magically changes. In fact, every time Jacobs was on TV, the audience changed. Life must be rough for Harry Potter after he defeated Voldemort. He's so desperate for money that he has to do stupid magic tricks for TNA. Did the audience die in between takes? With it being TNA, I'm honestly not surprised. Okay, I'm not completely in the dark on this. The reason behind this deal is TNA only wanted to pay Jacobs money for one appearance. Instead of paying him for a second day, they filmed all the Jacobs scenes in one night. How cheap is TNA? Reckon, I don't think many people are going to notice the difference of an audience change, but this makes TNA look bad. It makes them look like a poor man's company……Wait a minute? Anyway, I like how Jacobs says Super Bowl winners go watch TNA. Yeah……If the money's right. In fact, let's ask the rest of the New York Giants.

New York Giants: What's a TNA?

Jacobs talks about what happened last week. I know it's false information. Just go along with it or we will be here all night. It's kayfabe mixed in with kayfabe. It's kayfabe squared. NOOOOOOOOO!!! Jacobs calls out Bully Ray. Mr. Calves arrives and talks about how he's better than Jacobs. The running back wants Bully in the ring, but Bully says he has a match and he has nothing to prove. Jacobs chases after Bully to the back. We're not done with the Brandon scenes, so better get used to it. If they were going to pay him for one night, TNA might as well get everything they can out of it. 

Match #2: Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley

I wonder if it's bad when the highlight of the night is Austin Aries eating popcorn. To be fair, this was a passable match. The finish comes when Zema puts a spray-can in his pants. Either he's going to cheat or he wants to compensate for something. With a slight ref distraction, Zema sprays something in his face. It was the can, not…….THAT. Zema finishes off Shelley with the Bible Black. Or as I like to call it, the Galloping Crotch attack. Zema wins the match while Aries isn't impressed. I like both characters, but I can't really get into this rivalry since they are both bad guys. Who will people cheer for? This would work a lot better if Shelley was involved in this rivalry. 

Winner via pinfall: Zema Ion

Backstage where Garett Bischoff says he will continue to pursue his dream of becoming a wrestler. Oh, come on!!! Garett can't even be a convincing school janitor. Hulk Hogan arrives and says he will support Garett's decision, but he should consider walking away since Eric will make his life a living hell….Even though Eric is not the GM/boss of this show anymore. Opps. Since when did Hogan become a quitter? This is a mess. This scene just kinda stopped. We don't get any more thoughts with Hogan and Garett. I guess the writers knew when to give up. Since this is a Garett scene, that's probable a good thing. Garett has done NOTHING to earn this type of exposure. Say whatever you will about Vince and Shane McMahon, but at least Shane had actual talent. Madison Rayne had a backstage scene. She still talks like a heel since she hopes Sting leaves, but tries to convince us that she is still friends with Gail Kim. So, Madison is probably playing mind-games with Gail. That's fine, but it's kinda odd when the heel is playing mind-games with another heel. Well, I'll have to wait and see how this plays out. 

Match #3: Gail Kim vs ODB

I found this match to be sloppy at times. I just couldn't get into it. I have seen these ladies do better, so that's not a good sign. Mike Tenay talks about Rihanna and Chris Brown getting back together. What does any of that have to do with this match? That just seemed really random. Is TNA trying to hop on the CM Punk/Charlie Brown deal? What am I talking about? Charlie Brown is more of a man than Chris Brown. Oh, and do you really expect me to believe that Tenay looks at TMZ? Tenay looking at Wall Street is even a stretch. Madison arrived during the match and was rooting for her partner. Gail seems angry at her. The finish comes when Gail hits Eat Da Feet. After the match, Madison was happy for Gail. On the other side of all this, Gail doesn't seem interested and is more confused. Yeah, cuz I think many people are confused at this point. The storyline just started, so let's give it a chance. 

Winner via pinfall: Gail Kim

Match #4: Robbie E vs AJ Styles; TV Championship match

I like how AJ cut a promo saying he's done with Christopher Daniels and Kaz and wants to focus on getting the world title. Yeah, so he challenges for the TV title? Somebody hit AJ in the skull too many times since Robbie is no world champion. I really didn't care about this match. You knew Daniels and Kaz would show up. Not to mention that Robbie has no stock or momentum, so who's going to care about him? By the way, I found out what the TV title means. It's the Totally Vague title. Based on that, it seems appropriate that Robbie is holding it. The match might be considered decent, but I really didn't care about the actual match based on who was fighting who. The finish comes when Daniels and Kaz arrive. Yeah, who didn't see that coming? To a surprise, Kaz attacks AJ without any restraint. The match ends in a DQ. Daniels seemed surprised that Kaz attacked AJ, but I think he was more shocked that Kaz showed a glimpse of a human emotion. Watch yourself there, Kaz. The next human emotion you show might give you a heart attack. Are they ever going to explain any of this? It's been over 6+ weeks and we gotten no explanation or buildup with this storyline. I officially don't care about this storyline anymore. I gave it a chance, but TNA has done very little with it. This is coming from someone who is very patient and wants to see slow build ups, but there's no build up here. I want buildup. WHERE IS IT?

Winner via DQ: AJ Styles; Robbie E is still the Totally Vague Champion and you die a little more inside

Match #5: Bully Ray and Kurt Angle vs James Storm and Jeff Hardy; No DQ match

I was so bored by this point that I didn't even recall this being declared a no DQ match. I actually had to re-watch this bit just to make sure. Storm introduces Brandon Jacobs to watch this match. This was actually a pretty decent match. It was probably the best match of the night. Jacobs comes out to a crappy version of the NFL theme. That's even worse than Wade Barrett's entrance theme. The finish comes when Bully and Angle get a table in the ring. It seems like everyone is down, except for Bully. Jacobs gets in the ring and wants to fight. Bully gets in a three-point stance and is ready to charge up his attack. Storm gets back up and clubs him in the face. Jacobs picks up Bully and slams him through the table. Storm pins Bully and wins the match. This was one of those moments where it was giving the celebrity the "feel good" moment. I actually don't have any problems with that. This type of stuff happens all the time in pro wrestling, so how is it any different when WWE does it? Hell, they did it earlier in the year with Perez Hilton, so this is nothing new. I know people don't like these celebrity bits, but it was short and painless. I think people take wrestling way to seriously since you usually see a lot of complaining for bits like this. Still, there was some issues I had. I don't know why Angle didn't give a reason for attacking Hardy last week. Something tells me the Angle/Hardy match will end up happening at Lockdown, but it would be nice to get something. Then again, I'm not too bent out of shape for that one. Storm is the #1 contender to the world title and it seemed like he didn't even care that he has Roode on his radar. It just makes Storm look like an understudy as…..Well, you'll see in a minute. 

Winner via pinfall: James Storm and Jeff Hardy

Time for the final segment of the night. Sting talks about how he's done until Roode interrupts. Roode arrives since he wants to soak in the moment. Sting says Roode hasn't proved anything yet. Sting pulls out the face paint and proceeds to give himself a whorish makeover. He's done with Roode's crap, so he will face off against Roode at Victory Road. Roode tries to sneak a kick to the groin, but Sting catches it. Sting follows up with a kick to Roode's happy place. By the way, Sting is one again acting like the Joker again. I thought we were passed this? Didn't we get Sting an intervention for this problem? Sting talks about the yellow brick road and that ends the show. Well, it turns out my theory was right. It came true and I wished it hadn't. I really don't want to see this match. I just hope this can be quick and painless. I still wish they would focus a little more on Roode and Storm. I realize the Roode/Sting match is first, but Roode and Storm is a rivalry that started back in October/November. Don't you think it would make sense to at least address this? Instead, we get to witness Roode fighting a 52 year old Joker wannabe. I sometimes wonder if TNA is intentionally trying to troll you. You've just been TNTrolled.

Overall Impression:

I didn't enjoy Impact tonight. I found myself bored for most of the program and there was only a few moments where I got invested in the action. There was a moment where I felt Vince Russo got re-hired in TNA. You have the Styles/Kaz deal that has had no explanation, Sting putting himself back in the spotlight, and two PPV matches that are heel vs heel. Actually, this was way better than anything Russo produced. I apologize for that statement. I didn't think Impact was bad. There was elements that were okay, but it just wasn't very entertaining. The main event was interesting, but most of the matches were underwhelming. The promos/segments were nothing to rave over either. It was just a mediocre performance by TNA. This definitely wasn't their worst stuff, but it wasn't one of their best. I guess you can consider this average by TNA, but I've seen average episodes of TNA be entertaining. Tonight's show didn't do it for me. See, I wasn't lying when I said Austin Aries eating popcorn was the highlight. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. I'M FINISHED WITH THE REVIEW!!! YEAHALOAOLAOLALALALALAO