WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 2/16/12 (They may not be Giants)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 2/16/12. After the events of Against All Logic, how will TNA move forward? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Robert Roode. The champ talks about how he loves when the audience chants "Rooooooode". In reality, they are booing the guy, but I like how the bad guy can turn those words on the audience. That's how full of himself he is. Then again, that's a good thing since he's the bad guy. Anyway, Roode talks about his victory at Against All Odds and how Sting is a failure. He totally has a point there. Sting has failed on many occasions to get the belt off Roode and did very little enforcing in the AAO match. In fact, Sting's actions at the PPV made no sense and shows why the phrase "wrestling logic" exists. Then again, I really don't want to talk about that PPV again. The less we remember that PPV, the faster my therapy sessions can go. Remember how sad I was? I don't want that to happen again. Sting arrives and admits that his anger got the best of him. He says he will make it up to Jeff Hardy by giving him a world title shot tonight. At this very moment, Bully Ray and James Storm are going, "WTF?" right about now. Sting says it will be a No DQ match and it starts immediately. A pretty basic opening to the show. You could make the argument why Sting gave Hardy the title match when he really screwed over all three competitors as opposed to just Hardy. What, do drug addicts get special treatment with Sting? Maybe it's a face paint thing? Regardless of how the scene was written, it was best to go down this direction based on what would happen later in the night. 

Match #1: Robert Roode vs Jeff Hardy in a No DQ match; TNA World Title

Really, TNA? I can get the entrance themes to the wrestlers on your website? Oh, that's just amazing. I have always wanted my ipod to contain the amazing lyrics of, "dadadadada….ROB VAN DAM……dadadadada…..THE WHOLE F'N SHOW……dadadadada". Seriously, someone got paid to write that? Makes me feel bad for artist/bands with actual talent that can't get a record deal. The idiocy of Mike Tenay never seizes to amaze me. Tenay talks about how he's glad the referee is giving the guys extra leeway in a title match like this. Did he already forget that this was a no DQ match and the ref is just doing his job? Dammit, Tenay!!! Get Jeremy Borash back on commentary and get rid of this moron. No wonder Tazz's commentary is worse now than when he was in the WWE. He just has to drink away whenever he's around Tenay. That's really saying something since Tazz was already pretty bad at commentary. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Tenay is a good reason many people don't give TNA a chance. I swear that the best thing to do is mute the TV while Impact is on. 

I really trailed off by talking about the other stuff, but that happens sometimes. Why? Because I'm insane. This was a decent match to open up the action. It was also given a fair amount of time. I wouldn't say it was a groundbreaking match, but at least it was entertaining. The finish comes when Kurt Angle arrives and attacks Hardy. He tosses him back in the ring, only to be greeted to a Spear by the champ. Roode keeps finding loopholes in order to remain champion. As for Kurt, we don't get a reason behind his attack. My guess is that will be revealed in the coming weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if Kurt's intentions are because of Hardy's drug use. It's crack head vs raging alcoholic. Only in the world of pro wrestling. By the way, did any of you watch the part where they dueled near the entrance ramp? If you look, you can see some green lighting around the arena. There was a point where Roode was completely in the green lighting. Oh my God, he's the Hulk!!! Unfortunately, he gets out of it pretty quickly and continues to struggle. Worst Hulk transformation ever!!! So much wasted potential right here. 

Winner via pinfall and still TNA World Champion: Robert Roode

We get a few backstage scenes. Roode talks about how Sting failed to get him again. Stinger arrives and says there will be a #1 Contender match to determine Roode's new opponent. I have more thoughts on this Sting/Roode deal, but I will save that for later. The next backstage scene was Eric Young playing a guitar. He explains to the cameraman that he screwed up Single Awareness Day with ODB. He talks about all the stupid things he did as opposed to taking the holiday seriously. Once again, I just don't see the humor in Young. Then again, there are probably people that don't see the humor in my articles, so not much I can do there. The last backstage scene was to show that James Storm and Bully Ray will compete in a #1 Contender match tonight. 

Match #2: Austin Aries and Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley and Shannon Moore

Before this match went under way, there was an update on Jesse Sorenson. He has a compressed vertebrae, which can be very fatal. It isn't clear when Jesse will get back in the ring. Hell, his career might already be over. Even if he does come back, he might not be the same guy. Even though I find the guy extremely bland, I never wish harm on these guys and this is a really bad injury. I wish him the best. Anyway, back to the action. TNA showed multiple shots of New York Giants running back, Brandon Jacobs, sitting in the audience. There are moments where he seems bored and times where he actually cracks a smile. He's probably thinking of his massive paycheck he will get for winning the Super Bowl. The match was pretty short, but it was okay. Aries and Zema kept doing blind tags to show off the other one. The finish comes when Aries is going for a Brain buster, but Zema does a blind tag to get himself in the match. He jumps in and gets a rollup on Shelley to steal this match. I still don't like the idea of making it Aries and Zema. Mainly because they are both heels and both are arrogant. I still think they should've written a cop out that would've allowed Aries and Shelley to continue while giving Zema a chance. 

Winner via pinfall: Zema Ion and Austin Aries

Match #3: Knockout Battle Royal; winner is #1 Contender to KO title

Madison Rayne cut a promo to talk about how much of a gracious champion Gail Kim is and everyone should thank her. When the bell rings, Madison is still in the ring, but leaves the ring to sit and watch the rest of the match with Gail. This is an important note for later. The match was nothing amazing, but at least the ladies got a chance to show their stuff. Not THAT kind of stuff. ODB, Sarita, Rosita, Velvet Sky, Tara, Tessmacher, Angelina Love, Winter, and Mickie James were involved in this match. The finish comes when Velvet gets the final elimination by taking out Sarita. Just as it seems the match is over, Madison comes from behind to eliminate her. Based on Tenay's terrible acting, Madison said anyone in the ring prior to the bell going off would be able to compete in this match. Of course, Tenay can't sell a freakin' emotion to save his life and can't paint the picture. Gail is questioning Madison's actions, but Madison continues to smile. They have been teasing this for a while, so it should come as no surprise. I still wish they would just get rid of these stupid KO tag titles since they offer nothing to the show and are more of a distraction. As for the quirky finish, I can see people not liking it. I actually like it since it throws a curveball at you. It wasn't designed to make Madison look strong. It was designed to show off her cunning and it's her way of saying she's sick of Gail's bulls***. Still, not sure how will this rivalry is going to go. What's with all the heel vs heel stuff in TNA? That's not going to work. 

Winner and NEW #1 Contender to KO title: Madison Rayne

James Storm is angry. He's so angry that he punches a wall. I would like to see Storm's reaction when the camera faded away…..

James Storm: Awww, my f***ing hand!!! What the hell was I thinking? F*** you, wall!!!

Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Ric Flair, and…..Chelsea? She still works here? She hasn't appeared on television in over a year and a half. Who the hell is going to remember that? In case you don't know who Chelsea is, she used to be the valet of Desmond Wolfe (aka: Nigel McGuinness). Desmond used to work for TNA, but ended up getting injured and it seems like his wrestling career ended because of the injury. He did come out of retirement briefly at Ring of Honor last year, but as gone back to working commentary for ROH ever since. Anyway, that's enough of the history lesson (even though I probably screwed it up), back to your crappy review. Was this the plan? Take a character off TV for over 18 months, then bring her back without any explanation? Something tells he she's the Immortal hooker. I don't know if I would want any of that. She's attractive, but who wants sloppy seconds? Especially Gunner and Eric's sloppy seconds. Come on, Flair? Have some dignity. Anyway, Eric talks about how Garett Bischoff failed to defeat Gunner and says he should get out of the wrestling business and should focus on a new career. He wishes him the best of his future endeavors. Anyone picturing John Laurinaitis going, "What the hell?" at this very moment? Seriously, you don't steal Roboinaitis' catchphrases. He will rage out on you with his Master Splinter kimono. 

I like how Bischoff has to brag about wrestling accomplishment he did well over a decade ago. How about listing those recent accomplishment, Bischoff? What's that? They don't exist? Yeah, that's what I thought. What? No Garett appearance? Oh……Thank GOD!!! I dislike the fact this storyline is continuing, but at least Garett is off TV this week. Let's move on. By the way, did any edit the word "punk" off TV? That's the power of CM Punk. His name is so awesome that it's considered a swear word. One nation, under Punk…..

There was a backstage scene in which Eric Young plays his song to ODB. I like how the camera is on Young's face the whole time. There was moments where you can see his hands on the neck of the guitar, but he clearly has his hands in the same place. Young can't even move his hands up and done to give a sense that he's playing chords on the guitar. It was obvious that someone else was doing the playing, but TNA wanted to give you the sense that Young was playing. That's just really bad editing or bad camera work. Either that or Eric was really playing the guitar. Still, if that was the case, why not just show it? It just looks ridiculous. So, William Hung here actually impresses ODB with his song. The singing was actually decent, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was lip singing. If that was the case, best acting performance I have seen out of Young. They leave and give the sense that ODB is going to play with him. I hope the cameraman isn't there for that scene. Ewwwww. 

Match #4: Bully Ray vs James Storm; #1 Contender match to World Title

Oh, I forgot to mention that some MMA promoter talked to Christy Hemme about some MMA show that will be on Spike TV and ladoaldoaodolalallaoalola. Yeah, I really don't care. Bully starts to target Storm's knee in order to take out the Last Call Super Kick. It's actually pretty good strategy on his part. He takes off Storm's knee pads and boot in order to deal more damage. Too bad actual strategy in pro wrestling is something of a myth. Especially when John Cena is involved. He's like the myth buster. See what I did there? The match was fair to watch. Nothing amazing to witness, but it wasn't terrible either. The finish comes when Storm hits the Super Kick out of nowhere. Storm has become the new #1 Contender. Nice to see it finally come full circle between Roode and Storm. Still, I have an issue in how TNA is writing this up at the moment. I will explain this later in the review. Um…..ladlajdljaojdljadfijadlfadjlfjadlla.

Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to World Title: James Storm

After the match, Storm enjoys a beer with Brandon Jacobs. Everything seems to be going well until Bully interrupts to take out Storm. Bully starts his bully rants on Jacobs. He actually tells him to give him the beer Storm gave him. Bully gets the beer and spits it in the face of Jacobs. How smart is that? He might be a running back, but the guy is built up a lineman. All the calves in the world isn't going to help you. As you would've guessed, Jacobs snaps and pushed him to the ground. Jacobs wanted more, but TNA road agents and Storm held him back. After a commercial, Jacobs talked about how he will confront Bully next week. Jacobs was stuttering a bit in his promo, but it was passable. It's actually a good thing TNA is going out of the way to get a sports star involved. Still, I don't know how much the NFL will allow Jacobs to be active for this. If I had to guess, I'd say Bully vs Jacobs will happen at Lockdown. LD is TNA's version of SummerSlam, so it makes sense to roll out some decent publicity. Still, remember the last time TNA got an NFL player involved in their production? Pac-man Jones ring any bells? Yeah, that didn't go very well once the NFL interfered and wouldn't allow Pac-man to do anything. Jacobs isn't a major star, but at least it will get some type of mention on ESPN. Still, expect Roger Goodell to speak to Jacobs and his agent That's regardless if he's a free agent or not, so don't be surprised if Goodell won't let him be active. If a match happens, expects lots of pushing. Yeah…..Pushing and…..More pushing…..And then there's more pushing *sigh*. And there there's, Idon'tevenknowanymore….Blah.

Time for the final segment of the night. Sting arrives and calls out Roode. Once Roode arrives, Sting says Roode vs Storm will happen at Lockdown.  Roode takes the news so well that he kicks Sting in the balls. The show ends with Roode standing tall. Back to what I was saying earlier about Roode and Sting, I feel they are putting too much exposure on Roode and Sting. The focus should eventually be on Roode and Storm. Luckily, the match won't happen until LD, which is two months away. They need to eventually get away from Roode/Sting and focus on Roode and Storm. I do like the fact they have already booked the match two months in advance. Hopefully, they can do this right. As for the Roode/Sting deal, I get the feeling they will battle it out at the upcoming PPV. It's nice to see a storyline that TNA wrote showing signs of coming full circle. That's at least what I hope for. TNA, please don't screw this up….PLEASE!!!

Overall Impression:

I felt this was better than last week. I also felt it was better than the PPV. I can definitely say this week was improved from past weeks, but it wasn't perfect. Still, the show did show signs of being entertaining. That has to be worth something. The in-ring quality was okay for this week. It wasn't great, but it was decent to sit through. I would call this an average episode of Impact. An average show of TNA is definitely a lot different to an average episode of WWE programming, so please keep that in mind. An average episode that did show stuff like Eric Young's song and a KO battle royal, but they weren't THAT bad. Probably the biggest crime on this episode was Tenay, but that's a weekly occurrence. Who's c*** is he blowing to keep a job? Now that I have given this show a somewhat passing grade, I expect to get a lot of angry complaints since bashing TNA seems to be the popular thing on the internet. The show does have it's flaws (believe me, it does), but there was no Garett this week and Roode and Storm got a lot of screen time. That's a positive in my book. It also wasn't as boring as last week, so that should be noted. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.