WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Royal Rumble 2012. First WWE PPV of the year. How did it turn out? Well, let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Daniel Bryan vs Big Show vs Mark Henry; Steel Cage match for WHC

We open up the PPV with two giants tossing around a lightweight. There wasn't a whole lot to talk about this match. Then again, let's be fair here. If you're expecting a five star wrestling match here, you're kinda digging a little deep for that. It was fair considering the amount of meat in the ring. Hehe….meat. The commentators were talking about love in regards to Bryan throughout this match. I love you, you love me. I am completely losing my mind. Why am I singing? Anyway, the finish comes when Henry is setting up for the World's Strongest Slam on Bryan, but Show comes in with the KO punch. He pins Henry, but Bryan saves the match. Bryan immediately tries to escape over the cage, but Show is trying to pull him back in the ring. Bryan manages to slip away. So, that would be a literal interpretation of losing at the edge of your fingertips. After the match, Bryan acts like he won the Super Bowl while Show is angry. I realized at the beginning that my idea of having Bryan chokeslammed through the ring wouldn't work because there would be a giant hole in the ring for the remainder of the night. Yeah, I'm sure that would've gotten annoying. Regardless, Bryan finds a way to survive and remains champion. 

Winner and still WHC: Daniel Bryan

There was a video package of John Cena. It talks about how certain people like him/dislike him. I thought this video package had a connection with the Cena/Kane deal, but this would be regarding his WM match against the Rock. 

Match #2: Beth Phoenix, Natalya, and Bella Twins vs Kelly Kelly, Eve, Alicia Fox, and Tamina

You had to figure they would put in a couple more matches to the card. As far as the match goes, it was okay for diva standards. I've seen them do much worse with the ladies. The finish comes when Beth hits Glam Slam on Kelly for the clean victory. The interesting note in all of this is how Beth came off. She didn't seem to care about teaming up in this match. Almost as if she's looking down on everyone. Then again, Beth might be having a new opponent after the end of the night. Not sure why the divas looked like they got done going to a Miami Dolphins rally, but no matter. 

Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix, Natalya, and Bella Twins

Highlights of Zack Ryder getting destroyed by Kane. Ryder arrives in a wheelchair. John Laurinaitis arrives and gives Ryder is own locker room with catering. Damn, I wish Kane would nearly kill me. What a life of luxury. Anyway, Eve arrives and tells Laurinaitis off because of what Laurinaitis put Ryder through. Eve was using words she probably didn't know the definitions to. It's like George W. Bush is talking. Ryder says he's here to support his friend, Cena. Friends who let you get castrated and raped by giant men. Friendship indeed.

Match #3: John Cena vs Kane

I think I need to clarify something. I think some people were slight misguided with my rundown. When I said I wanted Cena to lose the match cleanly, I was talking about what I would like to see happen. This is completely different to what I think is going to happen. I just wanted to get that out of the way since a few people were confused by this. Now that I have addressed that, back to the crappy review. Cena is trying to take down Kane, but continues to have problems against the Big Red Machine. The match was okay, but I think could've been a lot better. Then again, this is only the first match. Can't give away everything in one night…..even though there's a small percentage of wrestling fans who want all the answers and payoffs in one night. It's like people have never heard of the word, patience. Then again, this is coming from someone who acts like a silly clown whenever I post up a review. Let's move on. I like how there was a moment where Cena did the "You can't see me", but Kane denied it. Apparently, you CAN see him. Cena did a five knuckle scuffle off the top rope. That's probably the only time I've seen that move be effective. Hooray for first time randomness. The finish comes when the two would continue to fight outside the ring. This ends up being a double countout. It would've been cool to see my idea come to life, but I also knew it was a long shot. It still gets the job done since Cena is still struggling to find an answer to deal with Kane. It might be cheap, but it works. After the match, Kane and Cena fight to the back. Kane takes out Cena with a couple of chair shots. Steel chairs, my only weakness!!! Kane looks over and realizes he is right near Ryder's locker room. Apparently, the special treatment for Ryder didn't come with a security staff. Ryder is trying to kick away the monster, but Kane uses his finisher…..MURDER, to take out Ryder. He strolls his ass to the ring. By the way, I like how Ryder is kicking Kane, while someone with a "broken back" probably shouldn't be able to do that. Wrestling logic strikes again!!! Kane strolls Ryder all the way to the ring and puts him inside. Eve arrives to….cry. Seriously, that's all she does. Oh, and hover over like a scared bunny in the corner. I WANT MY MOMMY!!! Kane delivers a Tombstone Piledriver to Ryder. Great, think of all the medical bills? Cena finally arrives to help, but ends up getting Chokeslammed. Kane retreats while medics once again take a look at Ryder. When will Ryder learn to stay away from the pissed off bear? Despite how they are really going overboard with kayfabe injuries to Ryder, he's showing guts and courage for standing up to people. Then again, Link stands up to evil with a sword and weapons. Ryder has none of those things. It's time to come up with a new strategy. This storyline will definitely continue as Cena needs to maybe consider embracing hate in order to stand a chance against Kane. By the way, I like how WWE aired the anti-bullying campaign after this match. Didn't we just watch a pissed off monster force someone to embrace the idea of hurting people? Mixed messages….eh, probably not. More or less, this is just bad timing. Still, it's pretty funny.

Double Countout

Just like the Cena video package from earlier, there was one for the Rock. On the road to WrestleMania. Too bad it isn't the road to Viridian City. 

Match #4: Brodus Clay vs Drew McIntyre

Cena must be devastated. His fans must be upset and ready to cry. Well, time to get over that frown by watching a fat man dance. This was a short match. Brodus hits Funk It and continues to win matches. Drew on the other hand continues to lose matches. As I said a while back, I think they are going for a losing streak angle with Drew. It can still turn out good for the guy. I would rather see him on television doing something as opposed to not being there. The audience seemed to enjoy Brodus. I'm telling you, casual wrestling fans are loving this guy. Who cares what those ten percent say? I would like to see Brodus say "Weeeeeeeee!!!" while doing the Funk It/What the Funk. I just like saying weeeeeeeee. 

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay

Match #5: CM Punk vs Dolph Ziggler; WWE Championship match

Laurinaitis….you got the touch. You got the power…..YEAH!!! Why am I singing so much tonight? I guess I'm just in that kind of mood. Laurinaitis made an opening promo in how he wants to remain impartial. He actually gets a real referee to take care of this match. In many ways, Laurinaitis went from special referee to special enforcer. He actually sends Vickie Guerrero to the back, since he wants to make things fair. This was a great match. It was definitely the best match of the night, but it was almost a given based on how the card looked. Not saying anything is bad about the card. I like the card, but mainly because of the storytelling aspect of these matches. This was the match where you figured it would have some quality wrestling. Punk and Dolph have great chemistry with each other. It was definitely my favorite match of the night. I think the majority of wrestling fans will enjoy this match. There was a ref bump in this match. It was a given based on how things have looked between Punk and Laurinaitis. While the ref is down on the outside of the ring, Laurinaitis is checking up on the referee as opposed to taking over. See what they're doing there? Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice and Dolph is tapping out, but no referee to make the decision. Punk wants to know what is Laurinaitis' deal. Dolph tries to sneak a rollup pinfall, but Punk counters into a rollup of his own. He has the match yet again, but still no ref to make the count. Punk eventually hits the GTS on Dolph, but there is no ref to once again make the count since Punk ended up swinging Dolph around. Basically, Dolph's feet took out the referee…again. Punk is really starting to get ticked off now. Punk goes for a GTS, but Dolph counters into a legdrop. I really liked that counter. It only mustered up a two count. The finish finally comes when Punk hits Dolph with a second GTS. The ref makes the three count, along with Laurinaitis. After the match, Laurinaitis gives Punk the title and walks away. I like how when Laurinaitis is walking away, he's clapping and smiling. Just look at that s*** eating grin? I love this character. I want to see more Laurinaitis on this show. Obviously, things aren't done between Punk and Roboinaitis. Laurinaitis was more concerned with his job than he was with Punk, which is why he made some of the decisions tonight. It will be interesting to see what they decide to do come tomorrow night. Some people might argue how this match makes Dolph look weak since he lost the match on four different occasions, but Dolph is the up and comer while Punk is the main evener. Dolph will get his time to shine, but this is Punk's time. The match was a little shorter than I was expecting, but it was effective. 

Winner via pinfall and still WWE Champion: CM Punk

Match #6. 2012 Royal Rumble match; winner gets world title match at WM

Time for the main event. I won't talk about every moment that happened, but I will bring up a couple of interesting/funny moments. If I talk about everything, I will be here all night. Plus, we are doing a review, not a play-by-play recap. I will have two separate list in this review. One showing the RR entry order and the other for the elimination order. Now, I have been looking at some internet reports regarding this match. Am I the only person who enjoyed this match? Seriously, why is everyone talking about how this was a bad RR match. I thought it was pretty good. I felt this was better than some of the RR matches that have happened in the last few years. That would also include the RR match from last year. I thought there was a lot more exciting/edge of your seat moments with this RR match than some of the others. It wouldn't consider this the best RR match, but I liked it and I thought it was pretty good. The audience really seemed to enjoy the RR match itself, so you can't say nobody didn't enjoy it. Some people complained about how there was not enough legends in this match. That statement alone is hilarious since I wouldn't be surprised if these complains are coming from the same people who say WWE doesn't focus on younger talents. Then when they do, they still complain in how there isn't enough star power and it's not interesting. The greatest enemy in the IWC is….the IWC itself. Funny how that works. I kinda like how WWE didn't go overboard with legends. I thought they had a good balance tonight with this part. Other complains where the match was too short. The match was over 54 minutes long. That's generally how long a 30 man RR match goes, so I don't know where this argument is coming from. I'm sorry, but some people come up with some really silly reasons to complain about stuff. When Ricardo Rodriguez showed up, he did it via Alberto Del Rio's entrance. He came out in a car and even dressed up like him. I've always said the best part of Del Rio is seeing what Ricardo does. Seriously, that guy is entertaining. Still, I don't think it's wise to have him wear tights to the ring. I will call him Chubby Rodriguez for now on. There was a Ricardo chant. That of itself is hilarious. There was also the epic confrontation between Mr. Socko and the Cobra. It was silly, but it was harmless. I like how Booker was playing along when Lawler got into the match, but reacts normally when his music hit. I should note that all of the commentators continued to call the match after they had been eliminated. If there was one thing I didn't like, It was Cole being involved in the match. I felt Kharma should've eliminated him. His elimination might have been set up by Kharma, but it was King and Booker taking care of Cole. By the way, it was a total surprise that Kharma showed up. Not completely sure if she's 100%, but I hope she is. WWE has really missed Kharma these last few months. You have to admit that Kharma's appearance was a total surprise. Then again, I think Cole's elimination would've been a hell of a lot funnier if he jumped over the ropes when Kharma looked at him. Almost as if he just eliminated himself. Another complaint about the RR match was there wasn't enough surprise entrants. This is why reading those dirt sheets isn't always a good thing. I was impressed by Kofi in this match. He was in that match for quiet a while. I liked how he did a handstand while walking his way back to the ring, thus avoiding elimination. I felt there wasn't as many dead spots in this RR match as some of the other ones. There was consistently four or more people inside the ring. Miz and Cody were in this match the longest. Each lasted over 40 minutes. I think Cody had the most eliminations with six. He definitely had a good night. The final four came down to Show, Orton, Jericho, and Sheamus. I want to add that my three RR picks to win where Jericho, Orton, and Sheamus. Kinda funny how those three ended up being in the final three. Who says I don't know stuff? When it was down to Jericho and Sheamus, they would go back and forth. These were my favorite moments of the match. Jericho and Sheamus really put on a great showing. Lots of near eliminations with these two. I thought it was great. It added a lot more to the excitement factor of this match. Lots of suspense with the closing minutes. After lots of attempts, Sheamus finally takes Jericho out of the match. Your winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble is Sheamus. 

I talked about some of the complaints I saw for this match, but the actual victor was probably the biggest complaint of all. Some people are talking about how this ruins Jericho's return. Well, it's Jericho and he can make anything work. The thought that Jericho's return is ruined is almost laughable since the guy is considered a legend while Sheamus is the new blood. Then again, I think more people are upset with how this doesn't connect with Jericho's video promos. I am sure they have big plans for Jericho. You just have to wait and see where they are going with this. I look at it like this. If Jericho had won, then we know that his build up was to go up against Punk. With him ending up the runner up, it adds more mystery as to why Jericho has returned, since we still have no idea what his intentions are. I know some people want to see some actual conflict with Jericho, but I like that they are going slow with this. I like slow build ups, but I realize some people don't like it. Sheamus has been getting pushed pretty hard ever since he turned face, which is why I had Sheamus has a high favorite to win this match. I realize he hasn't done much for the last few months, but they were setting something big for the guy based on how he wins. Well, they don't come any bigger than a world title match at WM. Most people are now thinking that it will be Sheamus vs Bryan at WM, but I wouldn't go that far. I can see Bryan drop the title at Elimination Chamber to someone (Wade Barrett?), thus Sheamus goes up against someone else. Sheamus vs Bryan is still a possibility, but I think the door is a lot more open with Sheamus being the winner as opposed to Jericho. I wouldn't even close the door on Sheamus vs Punk. It's a long shot, but it could happen. I am not upset at all that Jericho didn't win since this was a match that I think Sheamus deserved. He has worked hard these last few months and is one of the biggest rising stars in the WWE. Plus, I like how WWE is going with a younger guy as opposed to an established veteran for this match. Jericho showed that he still has it. He did a great job in making himself and Sheamus look good in the match. Then again, Jericho is awesome and that isn't a surprise. 

Royal Rumble entry order

1. Miz

2. Alex Riley

3. R-Truth

4. Cody Rhodes

5. Justin Gabriel

6. Primo

7. Mick Foley

8. Ricardo Rodriguez

9. Santino

10. Epico

11. Kofi Kingston

12. Jerry Lawler 

13. Ezekiel Jackson

14. Jinder Mahal

15. Great Khali

16. Hunico

17. Booker T

18. Dolph Ziggler

19. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

20. Michael Cole

21. Kharma

22. Sheamus

23. Road Dogg

24. Jey Uso (random entry, isn't it?)

25. Jack Swagger

26. Wade Barrett (new entrance music Um….I don't like it)

27. David Otunga (lawyers can't win matches…)

28. Randy Orton

29. Chris Jericho

30. Big Show (not gonna lie. Pretty disappointing last entry)

Royal Rumble Elimination Order

1. Alex Riley (by Miz)

2. R-Truth (by Miz)

3. Primo (by Foley)

4. Justin Gabriel (by Foley & Ricardo)

5. Ricardo Rodriguez (by Santino)

6. Epico (by Foley)

7. Santino (by Rhodes)

8. Mick Foley (by Rhodes)

9. Jerry Lawler (by Rhodes)

10. Jinder Mahal (by Khali)

11. Zeke (by Khali)

12. Hacksaw (by Rhodes)

13. Booker (by Rhodes & Dolph)

14. Khali (by Rhodes & Dolph

15. Cole (by Booker and Lawler on outside of ring)

16. Hunico (by Kharma)

17. Kharma (by Dolph)

18. Kofi Kingston (by Sheamus)

19. Road Dogg (by Wade)

20. Jey Uso (by Orton)

21. Wade Barrett (by Orton)

22. David Otunga (by Jericho)

23. Jack Swagger (by Sheamus and Show)

24. Cody Rhodes (by Show)

25. Miz (by Show)

26. Dolph Ziggler(by Show)

27. Big Show (by Orton)

28. Randy Orton (by Jericho)

29. Chris Jericho (by Sheamus)

Winner of 2012 Royal Rumble: Sheamus

Overall Impression:

So, I wasn't really big on how this PPV started. It did start off pretty lackluster, but this PPV got really good once the WWE Championship happened. I would say it's a tale of two different shows. The first half of the show was just so-so. I liked the Cena/Kane match, but it really didn't bring me into this PPV. This event got a lot better once Punk and Dolph locked up it. I'm not saying the other matches prior to the WWE title match sucked, just not overwhelming enough to call it a PPV worthy match. The second half of this PPV is where it's at. The WWE title match was great and the RR match itself was pretty interesting. I don't care what the IWC is saying, but I liked this match. I thought there was enough edgy moments to keep me invested in the rumble match itself. I think a large part of it goes to how RR entry went. It also helps that Miz and Cody made things pretty interesting for how long they stayed in the match. There was a few silly/comedy spots in the Rumble match, but that's expected. I thought the comedy was okay tonight. My comedic moment of the night definitely goes to Ricardo. Time to grade the PPV. I have been going back and forth on this all night, but I think I made a decision. On a scale of 1-10 and 5 considered average on this show, I will give WWE Royal Rumble 2012 a 7 out of 10. I was going back and fourth between a 6 or a 7. It can go either way, but I decided to go with 7. Remember, I don't do decimal point grading on here. I would consider this a PPV worth checking out. It did start off a little rough, but it does get better. I still think Sheamus winning the rumble is a better choice because it adds more mystery as to who will be involved in the WM title matches. I also think Sheamus NEEDED this win a lot more than Jericho. Jericho is a shoe in for the Hall of Fame, while Sheamus is young blood. Clearly, it does more for Sheamus' career to get this type of victory. A lose like this is something a veteran like Jericho can easily overcome. Part of the reason I gave this show a 7 is because of Sheamus' victory. It's a pretty big deal, in my opinion. I may have given the last two matches too much credit, but I really enjoyed these matches. I enjoyed tonight's PPV and it's a show I can recommend. Casual fans will probably enjoy it, but I can see some hardcore wrestling fans not being totally happy with tonight. This was definitely a show that got a mixed reaction, but I liked it. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

WrestlingNerd's Official Score of WWE Royal Rumble 2012: 7 out of 10