WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 1/9/12 (What the funk?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw on 1/9/12. How did this week fair out? Well, let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with FIREBALLS YUM!!! Well…..firewalls to be more exact. Kane arrives and talks about how the audience needs to embrace the hate since they all live fake lives. He also says the audience uses John Cena's accomplishments to fill them with glee, but they should be angry because they wish it was them and not Cena. Kane talked about how the audience made Zack Ryder a star, but it means nothing and he gets what he wants at the end of the day. Cena arrives in a pissed off mood and attacks Kane. It appears Cena has the advantage, but Kane would fight back. The two fight to the back, then outside. They appear to be near a loading dock as they continue to fight. There was a point where Cena used a crowbar on Kane, but it didn't do much since Kane would continue to attack. Cena is down for a while. Once he gets back up, Kane has disappeared. I just realized it. Kane is Batman!!! If that's the case, Cena is completely screwed. This is a continuation of the Cena/Kane rivalry where Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, but Cena continues to avoid doing it since he's a boy scout. There would be a heavy emphasis on this rival for this evening. If you hate this rivalry, chances are you are going to hate this show. I kinda like this rivalry since it's something new. 

Match #1: Sheamus and Santino vs Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal

It's the International Cup. Seriously, look at everyone competing in this match? It was a pretty short match. The finish comes when Sheamus hits Brogue Kick on Jinder. He tags in Santino, which leads to Jinder eating the Cobra. The finish made the most sense since Jinder is underdeveloped and it doesn't matter if he loses again. It's funny how people get mad at me and say I am too harsh on Jinder, but the audience barely gives him a reaction. Seriously, watch the entrance and listen to the crickets during Jinder's entrance. That's not a good sign. 

Winner via pinfall: Santino and Sheamus

Backstage where Miz complains to John Laurinaitis about R-Truth. Once again, Laurinaitis tells him he brought this upon himself and he should take care of it. It's wrestling logic since nobody is taking the steps to get rid of Laurinaitis as the GM while it was different with Triple H was in charge. By the way, Big Johnny? I bet Roboinaitis had been thinking of that one all week long. Oh, and he said Brodus Clay will debut tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will believe it when I see it. Yeah, like Brodus is going to show up tonight? Edge will be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame. If you haven't read my Edge tribute, you should check it out sometime. I wrote it back in April of 2011. Shameless plug from my previous work. That sounds so egotistical. 

A short scene of Miz talking to Mason Ryan to recruit him. Mason refuses since he would rather remain off WWE television as opposed to appearing on it. Another backstage scene. Zack Ryder and Eve are talking. Eve is wondering how Ryder is feeling after getting raped by Kane on last weeks show. Ryder says he's okay and tries to be brave. He ask Eve on a date and she accepts. The date will have to be for later since she has a match against Beth Phoenix tonight. Ryder says he will wait. Just as she leaves, Ryder walks away timid. From behind a door, Kane appears to be watching. Kane is coming back from round two of that ass. Yikes!!!

Match #2: Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan

This was a short match. Bryan tries to play the good guy act, but you know something isn't right with how he comes off. The finish comes when Daniel counters the crossbody with the Le Bell lock. Bryan gets the submission victory. Bryan once again over celebrates again. Bryan would probably gets thousands of fines if he played in the NFL. Big Show comes out to talk to Bryan. Daniel cuts him off and says he didn't like how Mark Henry ruined the match last week, so he wants to give Show another chance for the title. Show says he talked to Teddy Long and they will have a rematch on SD this week. The difference is that it will be a No DQ/No countout match. Bryan looks on while Show seems happy about the announcement. So, who thinks shenanigans are on the way? Yeah, I don't blame you. 

Winner via submission: Daniel Bryan

Match #3: Brodus Clay vs Curt Hawkins

Okay, so I have to give Laurinaitis some credit since he was telling the truth about Brodus debuting tonight. Many people were expecting Brodus to debut as a monster, but most people were far off. Brodus was a cross between the Godfather and Donkey Kong. He was wearing all red and dancing around the ring. He had two dancers with him. They referred to him as the Funkasaurus. The match was really short. Brodus would continue to dance around, but would try to play to the crowd. The finish comes when Brodus hits a running crossbody for the clean victory. Okay…time to talk about what we just saw. I was really surprised. I didn't see Brodus showing up like that. It reminded me of a cross between Rikishi and Earnest Miller. Now, I know people are disappointed with how his debut went tonight. I think because people wanted him to be a monster. I am kinda glad they didn't make him a monster. Why you ask? Because WWE has lots of those at the moment. They have Kane, who is a intellectual monster. They have Mark Henry, who is just a pissed off monster. Then they have Big Show, who is a giant. Show is more of a face than a heel, but what I am saying is there is plenty of monsters at the moment. Plus, does Raw really need two monsters with Kane running around? Brodus would've been lost among that group. You have to admit you didn't see that coming. I am a mixed feelings on this since a gimmick like this doesn't really seem like something that will make his career and reduces him to a comedy style gimmick. It could be interesting if done right. I think another reason people are angry is because the gimmick was too ridiculous, and people expected something a little more serious. Wrestling is supposed to be fun and entertaining. I always tell people to not take it so seriously. Well, there is a small group of people who take it way too seriously. That's something I can't control since everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I am fine with this silly gimmick. I want to sit back and see where they are going with all of this. It could help Brodus, or it can be a disaster. We will wait and see. It seemed like Brodus was trying to make it work, so you have to give him some credit for trying. Still, I bet many people had this confused look on their face since you're seeing a tattooed version of King Kong Bundy now acting like the Disco Inferno. I know I was. There was some pretty funny moments during this bit, so that has to be worth something? He did his own commentary. That was pretty funny. Besides, who knew Brodus had this type of charisma? All I can say is what the funk? What the funk did we just witness? Since I refer to Brodus as Donkey Kong, I guess that makes Brodus Funky Kong. 

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay 

Backstage where Ryder is getting ready for his date with Eve. He still seems off put since he fears Kane will show up. If you look in the mirror, Kane was standing right behind him. When Ryder turns around, he's gone. Ryder is now officially playing Luigi in Luigi's Mansion. Is King Boo going to show up? Why am I making so many video games references today?

Match #4: CM Punk vs Jack Swagger

To the people that are saying nobody will care about Brodus and this gimmick, he was the #1 trending topic at this part of the show. Looks like the IWC is getting angry again because wrestling isn't serious enough. Miz was also talking to Primo and Epico about helping him. It went nowhere. Laurinaitis comes out before this match starts and adds a stipulation. If Punk is able to win, Swagger and Vickie will be banned for the Royal Rumble championship match. This was probably the best match of the night. It was refreshing to see Swagger actually look like a competitor, as opposed to what he's been doing for the last few months. As much as I liked the match, the finish is a little screwy The finish comes when Punk hits the Flying Elbow for the victory. What was strange was Swagger got his shoulder up in time, but the referee blew the call. At first, I thought this was a simple mistake, but I wouldn't be surprised if they planned it like this. Why? Well, they would show the replay a couple of times, and the commentators played up this whole bit. They will probably use this as a plot device for next week. That's at least what I would like to think. If they never bring it up again, the ref blew the call and a mistake was made. Stuff like that has happened before. Oh, and Dolph Ziggler will face John Cena later tonight. 

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

Backstage where Ryder and Cena are talking. Ryder talks to him about Kane while Cena tells Ryder to take it easy since it only gets harder as you climb the corporate ladder. Ryder is still concerned about Kane. Kane is hunting for that ass. Every time I see that WWE Network video, I think Super Mario Sunshine Versus. Anybody else feeling that? There was a backstage scene of Ricardo Rodriguez talking to the Bellas. They have a message for Alberto Del Rio. Ricardo is annoyed that they didn't just make a phone call, but the Bellas wanted to do something different. Before they can make the offer, Miz interrupts and tells Ricardo to call out R-Truth or else he will beat him up. I feel bad for Ricardo. He's the human punching bag. WWE did two introductions for the WWE Hall of Fame tonight. The Four Horsemen will be inducted this year. Well, it's about time. One of the best stables in wrestling history. Still, a little odd they are doing this since there is not only a member of the Four Horsemen in the Hall of Fame, but they are working for TNA. Then again, maybe it doesn't matter, nor should it (at least to a degree). I know there was other members of the Four Horsemen, but they referred to the original Four Horsemen being inducted. That's probably for the best. 

We are in the ring with Ricardo. He calls out Truth by making fun of him. Truth arrives and is crazy as ever. I kinda like the old R-Truth as opposed to this version. He's more comedic than crazy. I personally liked the crazy part of Truth more than the funny bits. In fact, the crazy moments even made him funny at times. Anyway, Truth wants Ricardo to sing. Ricardo does it and it was actually pretty amusing. I always said the best thing of Del Rio is seeing Ricardo since he actually shows a human emotion. Truth is happy and wants him to sing again, but Ricardo isn't feeling it. He knocks down Truth's mic, which makes him angry. He starts to attack Ricardo, but Miz attacks Truth from behind. Truth gets back in the fight, which makes Miz run away. So, Miz is having a rough go around against Truth. I have mixed views on this storyline. I guess I just prefer Truth to be more crazy than anything else. He has his moments, but not as great as before. 

Time for Chris Jericho to show up once again. He once again plays to the crowd. He is getting everyone excited and hyped up. He is about to talk, but starts to break down and cry. He leaves the ring and says nothing once again. When Jericho showed up at this point of the show, I had a feeling he wasn't going to say anything. This is one of those slow build ups since we are seeing different emotions of Jericho every week. It's all being built up to something. Still, not sure how long they can keep this up. I still think Jericho is just playing with the audience since he's being a bad guy who's pretending to be a good guy. I still like it since it's something different. Chances are if you hated Jericho's return from last week, you will hate this episode. You have just been Jeritrolled. 

Eve is getting ready for her match, but Kane's music hits. She is scared. Ryder arrives and takes her out of the building. They are now in the parking lot and want to drive off, but they have a flat tire. Oh no, not a flat tire!!! Ryder rushes to change the flat tire while Eve is screaming her head off to hurry up. Umm….it would probably go a little quicker if Eve would help, but wrestling logic say otherwise. Funny thing is ten minutes during the show, Ryder is still changing the tire. At that point, you probably could've hot wired a car or something like that. Yeah, this was the overly campy edition of WWE Raw. 

Match #5: Dolph Ziggler vs John Cena

Pretty long break between matches, don't you think? The match didn't last long. The finish comes when they show the titantron of Ryder trying to escape. I don't think Ryder was even close to changing that tire. Where's the Michelin man when you need him? Kane arrives and attacks Ryder. He Chokeslams him off the loading dock and on a pile of pallets (probably not since that would break Ryder's back. Probably landed on a comfy mattress). Cena sees his and leaves the match. Dolph looked pretty banged up after the match. I kinda wish Dolph would have won via shenanigans just so he can brag a little more. Then again, the focus of Punk's title match is Punk and Laurinaitis and not Dolph. Still, it would be great to give Dolph a little something. Anyway, the match would end in a no contest. Cena walks to the loading dock to check up on Ryder, but Kane attacks. Kane uses his new finisher…murder!!! That's what they should call it. The show ends with Kane standing tall as Cena is passed out and Ryder is still down on the pallets. So, this is more build up since Cena can't seem to do anything against Kane. Will Cena have to embrace the hate in order to have a chance against Kane? Well, I think that's the picture they are trying to go with here. This scene was pretty silly since it was a very campy horror scene, but I didn't hate it. It was kinda funny at times. 

No Contest

Overall Impression:

This was a pretty strange episode of Raw. We had Brodus debut as a dancing fat man. We have Jericho Rick Rolling the world. We had overly campy scenes with Kane, Cena, Ryder, and Eve. Oh, and there was some wrestling thrown in there. Only in pro wrestling can you get all of this in two hours. Even with all that weirdness, I kinda liked it. I don't know why, but I liked it. I think it's because of the slow build ups to the rivalries. I don't know why people are angry that these rivalries are moving so slow, since one of the more common complaints is storylines moving too fast. I like it when they take their time with these type of things. There was no mention of the Royal Rumble. Notice how must of the rumble hype has been featured on SD more than Raw. Hmm….does that mean a SD guy is more likely to win the rumble? Well, it's very likely. I know people want my thoughts on the rumble match, but I am going to torture you by putting my thoughts on hold. I know, I can be mean sometimes. Even though I liked Raw, I think I am the minority on this one. I can see a lot of people not liking this one. I would consider this a better episode of Raw, but this one probably falls in the category of average. If you don't mind some silliness with your wrestling and want to have a little fun, you will like this show. If not, you probably will hate it. I enjoyed this showing more than I did Genesis. Why do I get the feeling that I will get angry TNA fanboys yelling at me after this review? Anyway, that's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. The third part of the award show has been posted. Check it out when you get the chance. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time.