WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 8/12/13 Review (John Cena is denied a bitch-slap)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 8/12/13. How does the 'go home' edition of Raw fare? Let's find out and start the review. 

Let's get this show on the road!

We open up the show with Daniel Bryan vs Wade Barrett. Brad Maddox is the guest referee for this match. So, the man who started his career as a crooked referee has placed himself in this match? Gee, I can't see anything going wrong here! Sure enough, Maddox gives a count faster than the Micro Machine guy and Wade is victorious. The purpose of this match was to build the Cena/Bryan match and nothing more. There was a lot more to cover regarding the main event for SS, but in due time. Wade probably had to give up his weekly check in order to get this victory. In other news, Randy Orton defeated Damien Sandow thanks to the power of almost stealing. In all seriousness, this was a pretty good match between Orton and Sandow. It does continue the elevation of Orton while progressing things between Damien and Porn Star Rhodes. 

Undercard 1

So, Dean Ambrose isn't concerned with the participants in the battle royal unless it's Andre the Giant's ghost. So, did WWE perform a human sacrifice to bring back Andre? Actually, an Andre ghost sounds pretty cool right now. We created God so we could great this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The mixed-tag match was very awkward. You would think Big E/AJ would get the victory, but Khali and Natalya ended up getting the win. My guess is this victory for Natalya is gonna push her towards something, but that's not what I have a problem with. In fact, I like the fact Natalya got the victory over the Divas Champ since she that could be the next rivalry for the divas title, but what the hell was up with the finish? AJ taps out and the ref does nothing while he clearly saw it. This is when they literally stall until they redo the ending again. What, did he fall asleep during this part? Did he pick up an official tip from Maddox? Hell, I bet Maddox could've done better. Needless to say, that was an ugly finish. Maybe for the future, they could just have the referees hold the script in their hands while calling these matches. It would cause less confusion. 

Worthwhile Miz TV segment?

Might as well talk about the entire Daniel/Cena deal in one shot. Vince McMahon calls out Maddox for screwing up the call earlier this evening, so he punishes the GM by granting him the special guest referee spot for the SummerSlam match, proving that all you need to do is f*** things up in order to get a promotion. Before it can become official, Triple H interrupts the segment and puts himself as the guest referee for the match. After a Pedigree to Maddox, the segment ends with Vince throwing a fit. You think that with Vince having more power than Trips, he would just say '…..NO…..No, you're aren't the referee. In fact, you're fired. Why didn't I do this sooner?' Of course it doesn't make much sense, but it goes to show the differences between Vince and Trips at the moment. I just had a thought. This most likely won't happen, but what if Trips screwed over Bryan and sided with Vince by the end of SS? It would definitely add a twist to things, but I doubt this would even be considered. Later on in the night, Miz TV featured John Cena and Daniel Bryan. Miz has pretty much become the Ryan Seacrest of the WWE. Seriously, he was a wrestler? You almost forget the fact he was WWE Champion at one point. I don't really want to go into detail on what was said during this segment, but I'll just say that regardless of what type of wrestling fan you are, you gotta watch this segment. The promo work between Cena and Bryan was pure gold and it was refreshing to see Cena step away from the same 3-4 promos he usually cuts and tries to be a little more edgy with his work. Bryan was no slouch with his promo either and continues to show the heart of an underdog. I've been sold on this match for weeks and this only made me more excited for the contest. Although, I find it funny how Cena was begging Bryan to slap him in the face. He really wanted a slap in the face. Slap me, Bryan! Slap me in the face! Slap me hard! I wanna feel the pain! I want you to hurt me Bryan and then slap my ass… Oh s***, is this mic still on?

Undercard 2

After the continued burial of Prime Time Players, the Wyatt family confront Kane. During the long entrance of the Wyatt family, Kane had a smart move and simply got out of the ring. Yeah, it makes you think why nobody else thought to do this. I just figured out the rematch between Kane and Bray Wyatt. Kane vs Bray in a Ring of LED Light match. That will surely be a classic. The match between Alberto Del Rio and Kofi Kingston was fun to watch. I enjoyed it for what it was worth. Del Rio wins with the Cross Armbreaker since we forgot to give Kofi a motive for his return. But let's not forget… He's wearing pants now, that's most important. In other news, Antonio Cesaro has official become Zeb Coulter's favorite superhero, Captain Murica. Seriously, why is he using the flag as a cape? Unfortunately, not even Captain Murica can help Almost Real Americans defeat the Usos. Yeah, kinda funny how this has become a mini-feud of sorts. 

US Championship Battle Royal

We now return to Dancing, R-Truth, Seizure-Attacks…

The next match of the night was a 20-man Battle Royal to determine who will get a US Championship shot. There's no Andre the Giant ghost…

But there was a number of worthy participates in this match. What I enjoyed was seeing Ryback and RVD in the ring at the same time…

RVD: I like your ring attire. It reminds me a lot of my gear… Actually, it looks similar to my gear… A lot like my gear… That bitch stole my gear!!!

RVD becomes the #1 Contender to the Unites States Championship, while Mark Henry wins the consolation prize in getting a free Subway meal. After the match, Shield is about to attack RVD and Henry until Big Show makes his 5000th face turn. Earlier in the night, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns were calling out any two challengers for their tag titles. It would seem Henry and Show have answered that challenge. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The idea of Henry and Show being a tag team just seems odd in my book. I don't have a problem with the pairing, but they just don't look like a team. It's like they drew names out of hat and figured, 'Well, why the hell not'. 

The BROCK LESNAR segment

That might be my favorite Brock Lesnar line ever. The final segment of the night was the CM Punk/Paul Heyman 'match'. I liked the backstage segment where Paul was telling Curtis Axel he's having second thoughts, but I don't think he was talking about the match. He was having second thoughts about them. It's not me… It's you. To add to the Heyman romance, Paul blames the WWE Universe for stealing Punk from him. Awwww, so THIS is what it's all about. At the end of the day, he's really jealous over the fact that they took Punk away from him. It kinda makes you feel sad for the guy. I just want my friend back! Why did you do this to me!? If I can't have him, nobody will!!! Like an idiot, Heyman admits there's a trap and basically informs you on how the plan's gonna work. Tactical genius or moron? You be the judge on that one. As Heyman and BROCK LESNAR are talking in the ring, Heyman claims that BROCK LESNAR is his friend, BROCK LESNAR will be the downfall of CM Punk, and BROCK LESNAR will destroy your hero… BROCK LESNAR. Good thing Heyman was here or else I would've forgotten his name. CM Punk attacks from behind by hitting BROCK LESNAR with a camera. Here's your close-up, bitch!!! Heyman is really making me laugh in tonight's episode. After seeing the destruction of BROCK LESNAR, Heyman screams 'Oh my God!!!' once he realizes there's no more protection for him. It was the facial expression that really made this funny. Heyman finally runs away from the fight until Curtis shows up to fight off Punk. The show ends with Punk hitting the GTS on Curtis, BROCK LESNAR looking on, and Heyman high-tailing it all the way to Los Angeles. I thought this was also a fun segment that continues to build up the match. I'm looking forward to the contest and I think it should be a lot of fun. 

Overall Impression:

I thought the Punk/Heyman and Miz TV segment make this show worth checking out. Even tonight's matches were decent to sit through… For the most part. I really thought this was a good episode of Raw and continues to build up what could be a great SummerSlam PPV. I'm really looking forward to what happens on Sunday and if the hype matches the quality of the show, we could be witnessing a true gem on our hands. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Special: TNA One Night Only: TNA 10 Reunion (2013)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another special review. Today's special review is TNA's One Night Only: TNA 10 Reunion. I know I said I wouldn't really look at these, but since when do I listen to my own words? I left professionalism the day I created this page. Without further delay, let's begin. 

Is this really the title? 

Before we begin, we need to address the PPV title. First of all, why is called TNA 10 Reunion? I know the concept of tonight's show was to show the 10 years TNA has been around, but shouldn't it be called TNA 11 Reunion? Yeah, not a good sign if it shows they can't even count the amount of years they've existed. Second, what kind of PPV name is '10 Reunion'? It doesn't even sound right. It sounds like what a toddler says when he or she's learning how to speak. What's even stranger is how the talents were calling this PPV, 'TNA 10'. So, what's the name of the damn show? It seemed like they were calling it whatever the hell they wanted as long as it had something to do with TNA being around for 10+ years. Why didn't they just call it 'Four-Sided Hell' or something like that? It would sound stupid, but it sounds better than '10 Reunion'. At least 'Four-Sided Hell' sounds like a PPV name. My God, we haven't even started yet and I'm already off the deep end. This is only the second ONO PPV I've reviewed from TNA and on both occasions, I had to address the PPV name. I'm not expecting this great title to a PPV, but anything's better than TNA 10 Reunion. My guess is they paid one person a soda to come up with a PPV name. Actually, that would explain a lot. 

X Division and Knockouts

The first match of the night was an X Division match between Kenny King, Sonjay Dutt, and Petey Williams, but not before a 3-4 minute music video… exciting. If I recall, didn't this match happen a few months ago on Impact? I thought this was the night of honoring the past rivalries of TNA, not the 2-3 week feud that went nowhere. The match may be considered good, but I got bored with it to be honest. There was a lot of moments where the action ranged from fast-paced to really slow. I've seen better X Division matches in my day to say the least. Kenny wins the match with the Royal Flush. The next match of the night was Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim. While this is another rivalry that's happened in the last few years, I don't mind this one since I view it as TNA classic vs TNA modern. Gail was the first KO champ in TNA while Velvet is the fan favorite in the modern era, so that one fits the reunion concept better. In a short contest, Velvet wins the match with the In Yo Face. Not a whole lot to take in from the match if you ask me.

TNA hides the fact this was filmed back in March very well *wink wink*

We cut to a Joseph Park interview because when you think of the history of TNA, you think Joseph Park. Seriously, you can't even bother to get him in the Abyss mask for these events? The next match was a battle royal featuring past and present stars. You get all of your favorites like Joseph Park, Shark Boy, Chase Stevens… Cassidy Riley… Robbie E… Johnny Swinger?… Okay, well not exactly some of your favorites, but they did have a coffee break in TNA at one point. Yeah, I might as well get this out of the way since this is a continuing issue throughout the evening. For calling it an anniversary PPV, it doesn't really take advantage of it. Instead of names like Jeff Jarrett or AJ Styles, you get these cast of characters you either don't remember or don't care about. Talk about false advertising since you aren't really fulfilling the damn gimmick. They should just call this 'TNA Reunion: The Budget Edition', because that's essentially what you're getting. Oh, but there's more! Another issue about these ONO PPVs is the fact they're taped months in advance. Just like the Hardcore Justice 2 PPV, this showing was taped around March. Most of the time, TNA covers their tracks to make it look 'in-tune', but then there's time where no effort was put into it since they basically wrote themselves in a corner. It was obvious with Matt Morgan's presences in this PPV, despite the fact TNA released Morgan a month ago. Not only that, but you also have Robbie E and Jesse arguing with one another since there was a moment both guys didn't like each other, while they're currently a tag team in TNA. You see how this makes the event look dated? The commentators can do the best they can to cover up the current characters/storylines in TNA, but when it's f***ed up, it's f***ed up. This is why I find it laughable how TNA tries to connect the continuity of these PPVs with its current set-up. The purpose of these PPVs is to NOT connect with the current storylines, so why even bother trying to explain yourself out of it? Either go all the way or just leave it alone! Sigh… So, Matt Morgan won the match. It wasn't very intriguing and didn't make any sense. You can win by throwing your opponent over the top or of via pinfall/submission? Did a five-year old write this? Needless to say, this particular segment was a mess. Shark Boy would've had more luck if he brought the fish back. I want the fish to make a comeback. It was the best part of the last PPV. I wanna see the fish!

Things start to pick up

One positive about these showings has to be Bad Influence. The majority of the people who cut these promos go about as cliche as you can get, but it's nice to witness somebody actually trying to pull something off. Bad Influence is quickly becoming one the best parts of TNA. This match was Bad Influence vs LAX vs Team 3D. This was the first match of the night that actually looked good. I actually enjoyed this match and I hope we get more matches like this. Bully Ray and Devon are the victors after hitting the 3D on Homicide. I love the Christian Cage moment they featured at their top ten company moments…

Christian: The reason I'm here is because I love wrestling… but it wasn't enough to keep me here… bye.

Oh yeah, there's a PPV going on right now…

Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy had a decent match, but I think their BFG and eventual ladder match were better. Still, this was a decent edition to the series. Hardy won with a small package. As long as people buy Hardy's merchandise, he will always get a couple of 'big' wins every now and then. The next match was Bobby Roode vs James Storm. It started a bit slow, but it did pick up. The match did end in a bit of an anti-climax (Roode put foot on ropes for leverage), but it was still a decent outing. The last match of the evening was Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe, obviously trying to relive Kurt's first rival in TNA and the point where Joe started his roller coaster trend. The match tries to replicate what it did in the early days, but it just wasn't there. I'm not saying the match was bad, but not one of the better Kurt/Joe matches available. This one needed more time on the clock, but that's what happens when you invest over 20-minutes in a battle royal nobody cares about. Kurt wins with the Angle Slam and that's it. Wow, I just literally talked by three matches in a short amount of time. Yeah, it really didn't leave that much of an impression on me. 

Overall Impression:

This is the second ONO PPV I've watched and in both cases, I felt the majority of the talents didn't go out there to put on the full effort. I'm not saying all the matches were terrible or a pain to sit through, but most of these matches have happened in the last 2-3 years and their previous encounters are better. Most of these matches feel watered-down and while not a bad evening of wrestling, it isn't something I would go out of my way to watch a second time since it felt boring in my eyes. Some people in these ONO showings try harder than others to entertain (Christopher Daniels), but most of them are almost counting by the minutes until the show's over. This is what I would consider an average showing, but so average that charging money for this is a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if you put this card on Impact and it would be more successful than tonight. Maybe you think I'm being too harsh on a PPV that doesn't connect with the current storylines of the show, but I still expect some value of entertainment at the end of the day. While with a traditional PPV where I expect good storytelling with compelling matches/silly segments, all I expect from these PPVs is the entertainment factor. I honestly think this PPV doesn't do that very well. Hell, at least the last PPV had that stupid, yet hilarious, moment with the fish winning the battle royal, but there wasn't anything like that this evening. I know this was meant to be taken more seriously due to the theme of tonight's show, but more effort could've went into the preparation of this show. Again, you show off ten years of TNA and don't have people like Styles, Jarrett, or even Abyss? You couldn't even get Sting to sign up for this? Like I said earlier, this is false advertising at its finest. If the PPV worked for you, that's perfectly fine. You got something out of it that I couldn't get myself. I think people forget that I write reviews to make you laugh and to share MY thoughts on the show, not review based on what others want me to say. Well, I think I've gone on long enough about this event. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Mini-Reviews: WWE Smackdown 8/9/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another edition of mini-reviews. Today's mini-review is WWE Smackdown 8/9/13. Let's begin.

We open up the show with Randy Orton vs RVD, with special guest, whistle-man. Seriously, that guy was really getting into the show. I like the enthusiasm this guy's showing. In fact, this is one of the rare SDs that featured an energetic audience. It was refreshing since this doesn't happen all the time. Orton and RVD put on a great match to open the show. Definitely worth checking out if you have the time. The finish comes when RVD misses the Frog Splash…

Randy follows it up with the RKO to win the match. I know people are wondering why Orton got a heavy amount of applause after his actions on Raw. Keep in mind that the only heelish action he did was abandoned Cena and DB. He hasn't cut a promo or done anything else as of yet. The seeds have been planted for a heel turn, but it isn't officially as of yet. You just have to give it some time. 

Since the general managers of both shows mean nothing, let's have the Miz make a match for SummerSlam while Vickie Guerrero has a coffee break. It will be Dolph and Kaitlyn vs Big E and AJ…

I love how Big E gets in Kaitlyn's face. Calm down… Calm down *Dolph attacks* OW!!! I'm in tremendous pain right now!!! Help me!!!

Summer Rae's action skills cost Kofi Kingston a victory over Flamboyant-o. I'm guessing WWE will use this as a mini-feud for both individuals. Considering Fandango is doing nothing but feeding off his entrance theme and Kofi just returned, you might as well do something with both of them for free TV. Daniel Bryan continued the burial of whatever dignity Wade Barrett has left by destroying Wade's trimmer. To add salt to the wound, that electric shaver came out of Wade's paycheck. Remember when he made Nexus and Corre? Neither do I! 

I like the design of Damien Sandow's new briefcase. It definitely suits his character and I wish more people would customize their cases. They used to do that in the early days of MITB, but have since resorted to the blue/red color. It's just nice to see a touch of the personality reflect the briefcase. So, I guess Cody Rhodes went through the effort of fishing out that old briefcase and stealing that paper all for nothing. Yeah, he didn't think this plan through very well. Who knows how much toxins ended up in his body. For all we know, he didn't pick up a contract and found toilet paper. Ewwwww.

After the 3MB massacre, Bray Wyatt shows on the titantron to talk to Kane. He loves the idea of being in a ring of fire, claims to be a monster, and says he's already dead. So, he's a dead monster? 

Well, not exactly a monster, but it works. I'm still looking forward to this match. 

Since the WHC is looking more and more like a glorified Intercontinental championship these days, let's have Alberto Del Rio vs Christian tonight. To be fair, it wasn't a championship match, but it's a little odd to get this match now considering you're gonna see it again in about a week. This was another good match that made the show stood out, which is what I would expect out of Christian and Del Rio. Christian picks up the victory with a rollup. After a moment of Del Rio acting like a drama queen, Christian hits the Killswitch to shut him up. Damien arrives and is about to cash in the MITB, but Cody Rhodes interrupts the cash-in. Since the bell never rung, the cash-in doesn't count. Well, it wouldn't be WWE if we didn't get a few fake cash-ins. It would've been a hell of a twist if Sandow was actually successful with the cash-in, but I guess it wasn't in the heart of the cards this evening. 

Overall Impression:

SD was really good this evening. The segments were good and most of the matches really stood out. While it is an episode you can afford to skip, this is one I would considering giving a shot since I think you might enjoy it. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Mini-Reviews: TNA Impact Wrestling 8/8/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another edition of mini-reviews. Today we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 8/8/13. After a week to think about TNA's plug for Bellator, what's next on the radar? Let's find out and begin. 

Since TNA readers might be new to mini-reviews, let me explain how this works. The idea is to review the show, but not be as long as a typical review. There's gonna be stuff that gets left out on purpose since I need to keep it short. With that said, let's really begin. 

We open up the show with Mike Tenay being kicked off commentary since Aces & Eights was taking over the both. You really know things aren't high on the Aces & Eights priority list if they have to run Tenay out of town. That's like a school bully not having anybody to bully, so he resorts to stealing your napkins since he has nothing better to do. Bully Ray talks about himself until Chris Sabin arrives. After a few weeks of Sabin as champion, I'm afraid to say I was right in how this would turn out. Sabin isn't engaging at all when he talks. I really wanted to give him a chance, but his promos are as basic as you're gonna get and really aren't that appealing. In fact, I'm not even sure how well this move increased viewership, so I don't think this has gone the way TNA envisioned. Again, Sabin is a good mid-card talent, but he's not ready for the main event and I'm not sure if he'll ever be. Brooke Hogan announced that if Bully loses his rematch, he will never get a world title match again… Oh no! And since it's TNA, let's end with a dick innuendo. 

Jeff Hardy defeated Samoa Joe in a BFG Series match thanks to Mr. Anderson going the sinister thing of standing up during his match…

Again, you think Main Event Mafia would run backup for their guys at all times, but perhaps the MEM is on a budget as well. Sorry brother, but we can only afford you five-minutes of protection per month… but we're totally family. So, we cool? We cool!? Anyway, the next match was Magnus vs Anderson. The match was a bore until Bobby Roode ran interference by hitting Anderson with a steel chair. Due to the circumstances, Magnus loses 10 points while Anderson picks up pity points. Roode claims he did this since he wants to even the playing field. I kinda like this edition to Roode's character since it makes him a bigger asshole than before. 

Do you ever notice how the stars of TNA have the most boring entrance themes? It's like TNA bought a keyboard and literally push a button and *BOOM*, instant entrance theme. Some are more defined than others (AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Bobby Roode), but a lot of them sound the same. We are about to find out about Tito Ortiz and he says a few words until Kurt Angle interrupts to talk about respect. Didn't we go through this a few weeks ago when Rampage appeared? It's literally the same intro as before. Damn, at least try to do something different. Yeah, so a pretty underwhelming segment to say the least. In the meantime, Bellator is counting up the extra PPV buys they're getting after all the extra 'ads'.

Bad Influence use the rules to their advantage to get a double countout, thus both of them get two points. I actually thought it was pretty funny. After the match, Bobby shows up again and claims the three of them are creating a new stable. They claim by coming together as a team, they have the best odds of winning the BFG Series. I know it's another stable in the mix, but I actually don't mind this one since Bad Influence is already entertaining and I can see Bobby as a decent leader. In all honestly, that was my favorite part of the show. The final match of the night is Team 3D vs Sabin and Kurt. Thanks to that lucky rabbit foot that's wrapped around Sabin's dick, Sabin manages to pull off another miracle by pinning Bully with a crossbody. The show ends with Sabin and DWI Angle celebrating their victory. While on the subject, really Kurt? You didn't learn your lesson the first time? You can afford all this alcohol to get yourself drunk/buzzed, but can't afford yourself a cab? Instead of doing the responsible thing, you put innocent lives in danger just because of your bull-headedness? I respect you Kurt as a performer, but you son of a bitch!!! I apologize for getting on that soapbox, but I needed to get this out of the way because this is something I have zero tolerance for. 

Overall Impression:

One of the main reasons I turned this into a mini-review is because the show felt very filler-esque. There wasn't a whole lot in terms of storylines this evening and the theme of the show was to build up next week's Hardcore Justice. While they did hype it up, something a little more eye-popping for tonight's show would've helped deliver the message more effectively. While some of the matches were decent enough to sit through, I don't think it's something I would go back and watch a second time. Probably my favorite part of the show was the Bad Influence match, but that's because those guys always seem to find a way to make me laugh. Even after debuting Tito Ortiz a week ago, the follow-up was pretty weak and you got a half-ass reason for his arrival, thus shining more light on my theory that TNA only brought in Tito so they could get a paycheck from Spike for some shameless advertising. I do hope this all works out for them, but don't be surprised if this blows up in their face. That does it for the mini-review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 8/5/13 Review (Snake strikes back)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 8/5/13. What's this cooperate makeover all about? Let's find out and begin. 

Sticking it to the man!

We open up the show with the Daniel Bryan makeover. The man is cleaned up and ready for his job interview at the local store. Vince likes the clean up, but wants the beard to be shaved. Since it would be poor marketing with all the beard T-shirts, Bryan doesn't want to have his beard shaved by Wade Barrett. This makes the evil, big, bad, Mr. McMahon more angry since DB isn't doing things his way, hablablalabllalbhlalbla. Bryan beats up Wade and shaves the Brit's beard in the process. Wow, not even Wade's beard can get him anything in the WWE. You're starting to grasp at straws if this starts happening to you. Anyway, Daniel Bryan is sticking it to the man! Yeah, so the makeover didn't go over so well. It was so bad that Stephanie received some troubling news later in the evening. I know I'm cutting ahead, but might as well get this all in one paragraph. Oh Stephanie, you try so hard to give the emotion of pain and sadness, but you can't pull it off. Apparently, she's 'crying' because Vince yelled at her off-screen. Yeah, I guess that would damage anybody considering it wasn't good enough for free television, but hey, maybe it made it on the WWE App…

Triple H vows to do something about Vince since he has no problems with DB, Cena, or the SS match. Awwwww, s***s going down!!!

New drug policy?

So, the first night back on the job and Ricardo Rodriguez accidentally screws over Alberto Del Rio. I'm sure Del Rio will act kindly towards his friend…

Oh, so this is what he gets for not bringing your coffee? Jesus, that was brutal. I'm guessing this is the new punishment for failing a drug test. You get a suspension AND get the crap kicked out of you on live TV. This is what Major League Baseball needs to start doing…

Commissioner: You get a suspension and--Look over there!

A-Rod: Huh?*chair to the face*

A-Rod: But… Why?

Commissioner: Because drugs is a bitch…*kick to the groin*

How is that paper still in-tact? 

In other news, Cody Rhodes manages to get Damien Sandow's briefcase. Considering it fell in the Gulf of Mexico, I'm surprised in the condition it's in. I thought the color would've come up due to the toxins, but now I'm just being silly. Damien was about to get the case, but not before Cody swipes it again and steals a piece of paper in the briefcase. That's either a contract to a WHC match or Cody came across all the money TNA pissed away… Oh, I had to! The two will fight each other at SummerSlam. It doesn't seem like the briefcase is on the line, but my guess it isn't since there's no briefcase. They're fighting for an invisible MITB briefcase, eh….EH!?

John Cena promo #3: I will always be me and blah, blah, blah...

I can check out Doritos on the WWE App? So, does a bag of chips now come out of your tablet/phone? You laugh now, but I bet that's gonna be the next innovation so people can be even more lazy. Mark Henry beat Ryback via countout. Ryback proves how 'awesome' he is by beating up the bathroom attendant. In the meantime, let's listen to John Cena cut the 'I don't care what you think of me cuz I'll always be me' speech. Ah, a classic in the repertoire that is John Cena. Randy Orton interrupts and reminds him he's the MITB holder and both WWE Championship competitors need to be aware of Snake Man. I kinda wish WWE wouldn't have had Randy go out there since keeping him away from the WWE title scene would make the cash-in more surprising, but I can't complain since I liked what they did with Randy later in the evening. After the Shield and DB arrive, Brad Maddox goes out there to pull a Teddy Long, playa! Shield vs Cena, DB, and Randy for later this evening. 

Inferno or Ring of Fire?

Once the Wyatt family gave us a replay of what happened a few weeks ago on Smackdown, Bray Wyatt makes a speech. Galactus Wyatt claims he has all the answers and Kane needs to follow the chickens. Kane appears on the titantron and claims Bray does all these horrible acts to send a message towards people, while Kane does them for fun. Kane challenges Bray to a Ring of Fire match, to which Bray just laughs. My God, this guy's psychotic… I like it. I'm looking forward to this… Inferno match, right? Ring of Fire… Fire water… Fireball? Seriously, what is this? I'm guessing it's a new name to the Inferno match, but why not just call it an Inferno match? Is it trademarked or something? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter. They could call it a Ball-Busting match and I don't think it would matter. Regardless, it seems like a fitting gimmick for both individuals. 

Divas, One More Match, and revenge

The Kaitlyn/Layla match didn't last long as AJ caused enough of a distraction for Layla to hit a roundkick of doom. So, I guess AJ and Layla are gonna be a team now? Something tells me Big E is gonna be a happy man once the show's over. Christian went up against Heath Slater. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that 3MB was still a thing. I just figured the concept blew up, but every wrestling show needs a jobbing stable. After all, TNA has one in Aces & Eights…

Christian hits the KIllswitch and finishes off Slater in the amount of time it took to write this. CM Punk had a match with Curtis Axel. I think this was the first match of the night to last longer than five minutes. Needless to say, it was about time. The match was okay, but nothing groundbreaking. The finish comes when Punk attacks Heyman, thus resulting in a no contest? Wait, what? Punk attacks a guy at ringside and the match is called off? Huuzah? One questioning of wrestling logic later, Brock Lesnar comes out and defends his friend. Once Punk takes care of Axel, Punk and Brock fight. Punk actually manages to hold his own against Brock and is about to finish him off, but Pauly causes enough of a distraction for Brock to take control. An F5 and several chair shots later, Brock stands tall once again. We find out later in the show that Pauly challenges Punk to a match next week…

Of course it is, but you know Punk's gonna accept. There's really nothing to say about this. I like this feud and I can't wait for their match at SS. It should be fun to watch. 

Kofi Kingston returns

Fandango vs Kofi Kingston was the next match of the night. Kofi was sporting a slight change in his look by wearing wrestling pants rather than tights. I like the change, but I'm sure people won't start complaining because of a small change like this now, would they? Kofi defeated Fanjobo with the Trouble in Paradise. This is what happens when your gimmick is just a theme song. Yes, you can do Fandango-ing all you want, but I personally think Fandango-ing is killing his career even faster than I would've imagined. Remember all those months ago leading up into WrestleMania 29 where I said Fandango would defeat Jericho and get wins until it was time for him to start losing in about 4-6 months? I don't want to say I told you so, but… Yeah, I told you this would happen. It has nothing to do with Johnny Curtis himself. The guy has talent to play this character and I think does a good job at it, but WWE has a bad track record with these goofy gimmicks and more often time than not, they tend to fail. Perhaps something could change for the guy, but it doesn't seem to be on the radar at the moment. 

Other stuff to address...

I wouldn't be talking about clogged-arteries if my gut was that big. Thanks to a cheap shot, Almost Real Americans steal the match. I hope that gets something going in the tag division since that's taken a back seat ever since Shield took the titles from Team Hell No. Dolph vs Big E didn't last long as Kaitlyn was so set on revenge that it ended up screwing over Ziggles. Big E picks up the victory with the Big Landing. I've been thinking about the idea of a mixed-tag match for a while, but didn't really say anything since it was just a dumb theory and nothing more. After tonight's actions, it seems like a mixed-tag match is gonna happen. Things could always change, but I think this will be the SS match. 

Randy: Screw you guys, I'm a going home!

It's time for the six-man tag match. The Shield got disqualified due to… Breaking up the count? Whaaaaaaaaa? What's with tonight's show and these abrupt finishes? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter considering what resulted next. After the match, Randy hit the RKO on Bryan and helped Cena take out of the Shield… Only to hit Cena with an RKO as well. Randy was about the cash in the MITB, but Shield showed up once again, thus preventing Randy from cashing in. Shield attacks Bryan and Cena, but Orton doesn't care since he walks away. The show ends with Shield standing tall, but not before a Roman Reigns growl. Yeah, so Randy showed several signs of a heel turn this evening. Needless to say, it was about time it happened. I guess they could've made the heel turn at the time of the MITB cash-in, but going this direction isn't a bad idea at all. I still say giving Randy the briefcase made more sense than giving it to Bryan since the MITB has become a heel staple and Randy fits that mold more than Bryan. Not to mention Bryan's character would want to win the WWE title the legit way and not through the means of a cheap, cash-in, while Randy's character doesn't mind taking short cuts. I really like how things are setting up here. Vince isn't happy with Cena and doesn't like Bryan, so I can the man totally side with Randy since he's a little closer to what he wants to see out of a WWE Champion. A good storyline that's only getting better. 

Overall Impression:

While not as strong as the last couple of weeks, I felt this was still a decent-enough episode that warrants a watch. While there wasn't much in the action department, there was a lot in the storytelling department. Randy showed signs of turning into a full-fledged, heel, which might connect to Vince finding the guy he wants to represent WWE. There was a few announcements regarding the SS PPV and needless to say, it's looking like a great card. I just hope when the day comes that a great card can equal a great PPV. I liked tonight's show, but check it for yourself and see where you side on tonight's show. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Mini-Reviews: WWE Smackdown 8/2/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another edition of mini-reviews. Today's mini-review is WWE Smackdown 8/2/13. Time is of essence, so let's dive right into the show. 

We open up the show with Alberto Del Rio. I have a bet for you that I'm sure you will lose. Try to watch this scene and not crack a smile during Del Rio's promo. You just lost a bet, didn't you? I love the way he pronounces certain words. Maybe I'll challenge the beast, Brok Leznarrrrrrr!!! Del Rio chooses Ricardo Rodriguez as his opponent for SummerSlam. To be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing Ricardo as the WHC. Yeah, it would be a complete joke, but imagine all the comedy he could do with such a thing? You cannot deny it being funny. Since Vickie Guerrero wants something a little more serious, she puts together a #1 Contender match for late this evening. So, this is how it works in the WWE. To earn a shot at the second biggest championship in the WWE, you have to earn it, but for the most important championship on the show, they just hand you the match… Makes sense to me! The #1 Contender match will consist of RVD, Randy Orton, and One More Christian. 

Zeb Colter was about to talk, but Cody Rhodes put a stop to that in order to get his match started with Jack Swagger. Awwww, but Zeb wanted to bitch some more! Cody steals the short contest. After the match, Cody cut a promo but ended up being attack by Damien Sandow. I'm guessing the process of replacing a MITB briefcase takes a while, but why do I get the feeling this situation would be handled different if Randy Orton has his case stolen? It pays to hold a red briefcase. Oh, a Big E vs Sin Cara match! I'm sure this will end well…

I think the only way Sin Cara will win another match is if he washes Vince McMahon's car. CM Punk went up against Flamboyant-O. This was a pretty good match and it ended with the Anaconda Vice. Fandango only gets work due to his entrance music since WWE doesn't know when a meme needs to die. There was a divas title match between AJ and Kaitlyn. This match was mostly put on for storyline rather than wrestling quality. Layla shielded AJ from Kaitlyn, thus allowing AJ to take advantage of the situation. Yeah, so Layla just turned heel… That just happened. It definitely seems like the WWE is doing a lot of stuff with the divas. You have AJ and her crazy-ass, Layla and Kaitlyn could be starting a program, the Bellas started something with Natalya on Raw this past week (Even if I don't understand it since I didn't watch Total Divas), and then you have the Total Divas show. It's interesting to see all the attention the ladies could be getting due to this reality show, thus allowing WWE to write them in on more material. I'm all for it since it the diva division has been underplayed for such a long time. Sure, it will never get the status of the WWE Championship, but you can still make something entertaining out of it. 

It's time for the #1 Contender match to the WHC. Sure enough, this was the best match of the night. It was damn good if I say so myself. Christian wins this match by getting a backslide pinfall on Randy. Yeah, so Christian is gonna get his one more match. I know Christian was an option after Raw, but it's still a little surprising that Christian is getting this shot. I thought for sure they would go with RVD, but I'm guessing he's gonna have to wait for his shot. I guess it doesn't really matter since I still see Dolph Ziggler defeating Del Rio for the WHC once Dolph deals with AJ, but good for Christian to get an opportunity. After the match, Christian cuts an interview…

Interview: What do you think of this opportunity?

Christian: I'm kinda hurting right now, but *Del Rio attacks* AWWW, I'm REALLY hurting right now!!!

The show ends with Del Rio taking out the #1 Contender to the WHC. 

Overall Impression:

This was an average showing for SD, but an average showing that had a couple of moments which stood out. The theme of the night was to introduce the WHC match for SS and I'm fine with the choice. I know there's always a chance Christian could win the WHC, but I think this is just to eat up some time until Dolph finishes things with AJ and Big E. Again, not a showing you must see, but a nice distraction if you're looking for some wrestling on a Friday night. That does it for the mini-review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the show and all that jazz. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 8/1/13 Review (Spike TV Presents Bellator... and some wrestling company)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 8/1/13. How did things go this week? Let's find out and begin. 

Cram the opening! 

We open up the show with all this August 1 hype. What I find hilarious about this hype is how TNA didn't even think it was good enough to push down our throats since there was no mention on the show last week. Instead, you would only find out about this if you follow social media or went to the TNA website. Talk about rushing things as quickly as possible. My guess is TNA couldn't afford any vignettes. Gotta save those pennies! Tazz is banned from the building since Hulk Hogan laughs in the face of kayfabe contracts. Austin Aries comes to the ring and cuts a face promo. I love face/heel turns that NEVER show the transition of becoming a face/heel. Oh, and if your argument is that scene where Aries gives props to Sabin, I'm not accepting that as an excuse. It's lazy writing and you know it. Bobby Roode shows up and blah, blah, blah, I'm losing my identity and blah, blah, blah, I'm gonna win the BFG Series. The opening was pretty basic and was used to build up the BFG Series… and the online video… and Tazz being absent… Why was there so much in the opening again? You know, you have two hours to push all this across. The set won't blow up if you actually take your time with these things. 

BFG Series 1

The first match of the night was Bobby vs Hernandez. The match was very average and forgettable. Roode steals this match thanks to using a beer bottle on Hernandez. The ref questions all the broken glass, but realizes he's a wimp and doesn't question the guy with muscles. I like how Tenay claimed Roode is going back to his roots. Yes, give that man all the empty beer bottles he can use! James Storm is working a double-shift. The idea of this match/scene was to show Roode using everything he can in order to benefit himself. I just hope this actually leads to something for Bobby and not just imply this is gonna mean something when it ultimately goes nowhere. That's happens in the world of pro wresting. 

BFG Series 2

I love Jay Bradley's promo. That promo is gonna be remembered when reflecting on the history of pro wrestling, 'A few of these and THESE start adding up real quick'. That moves my soul like nothing ever. It's like the messengers from the heavens. The great philosophers of the time have passed these words to living mortals. As you listen to these words, you sense the majestic wonders flow through you… Or it's better to say it's a crock of s***. I guess a few of THESE was taken from Joseph Park's appetite since he was unable to connect with the Boomstick. This match proves that nobody can out-boomstick Bruce Campbell. I like how Tenay is talking about the amazing work Eric Young is doing with Joseph. He gave him a helmet and did nothing else. Yeah, Eric's really going the extra mile. I'm sure this won't lead to Abyss coming alive and eating EY's beard. Mmmmm…beard.

Sabin proves himself?

My favorite part of the MEM scene was Sting going over-the-top. Bully Ray is no longer champion ablalablbalbabalba! What happened to him? It sounded like he was chewing on a thick steak. I love it when Sting presents a glazed ham on the shows. It's pretty enjoyable. It's time for the champions vs champions match. So, can anyone explain to me the point of Manik/TJ Perkins not showing his face towards the camera even though we already know what he looks likes? Is he afraid of the cameraman or something? Then again, I would be scared of the cameramen of TNA as well, considering they're all stalkers. The match was good, but I find it funny that the world champion proves himself by taking on somebody from a division he conquered. That would be like defeating Ganondorf and follow it up by challenging villager #255. I know you want to make the champ look strong, but how about having him go against people in the world title bracket? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter since Sabin is being made to look like somebody who got incredibly lucky. In a solid, X Division match, Sabin defeats Manik with the Hail Sabin. After the match, Bully Ray comes in to bully the rabbit foot. Sabin manages to fight back, but only after Manik caused enough of a distraction for Sabin to take control. Look at this? Bully doesn't even looked fazed by this. It's like he's swatting at flies. This rematch isn't gonna bode well for Sabin.

BFG Series 3

Tazz tries to expose August 1st by showing a computer screen in a rental. I got it! Bill Gates is buying out TNA… LOLZ… Oh… That's an image for you. You know, if Hogan could ban Tazz, why doesn't he just do that do Aces & Eights? Because I'm busy working on my tan, brother! After the KO match got nothing resolved, we move on to the AJ Styles/Austin Aries match. This was a good match. The finish comes when both guys are down and cover each other, but Aries manages to get his arm up in time to pick up the victory. To be honest, I would've have minded a double pinfall. I think it would've been creative to see how it got resolved. Do they both get the points? Do they split up the points? Do they give them no points or take points away? Do they restart the match? I would've mind seeing this played out, but maybe that idea will come about another day. 

Total Nonstop MMA

The final segment of the night was MEM confronting Card Games. MEM challenges A & 8 to a 5-on-5 match at Hardcore Justice, but there's a catch. Whoever takes the pinfall in the match will be forced to quit TNA. Wait, is this considered a punishment or a blessing? Well, this will only get the IWC buzzing about the idea that Sting could be on his way to the WWE yet again. As for me, I don't really care what happens. Even if that person gets 'fired', I'm sure you can make up something in order to get them back on the show. Pro wrestling loves doing that and while some of them are fun and creative, some of them are just lazy. Once the two groups brawl, we find out who August 1st is. The August 1st is revealed to be Tito Ortiz…

Okay, so I've mentioned in the past that I don't watch/care about MMA or Bellator, but I literally had to do some research since I didn't understand this move at all. Based on what I've looked up, it turns out Rampage will fight Ortiz in a Bellator PPV. By the way, why is it called Bellator? It sounds like a botox injection. Yeah, I know I'm getting off track, but can you really blame me? TNA looks like a two-dollar whore after tonight. Think about it? It's getting f***ed by Spike TV while sucking off Bellator. I know I try to find the positives and keep an open mind on things, but TNA is most likely gonna get nothing from this. This is only gonna benefit the MMA world and not do a thing for TNA. Sure, they may get some quick ratings, but they'll lose them pretty damn quickly once all the promotion for the fight is over. I know the TNA fans are gonna defend it by saying 'Come on, WSNerd! Spike TV is forcing them to do this since they're under contract. You can't blame TNA'. While that may be true, I wouldn't be surprised if TNA agreed to do this for the sake of earning a couple of bucks. I know there's been a lot of reports on TNA's financial troubles and while I don't like to make much on online rumors since dirt sheets make up a lot of horse-crap, this almost proves to me that TNA is having money issues and is trying to get every penny they can at this point in the hopes of turning this ship in the right direction. Come on, they're literally getting money by promoting a fight for a different company. I know I poked fun of TNA looking like a prostitute, but they really do come off as one considering a prostitute does whatever they can for money. Sadly, TNA's hitting that definition very well at the moment. Again, I know I should be more optimistic about this since I like to be open to any idea the world of wrestling throws out there. Sometimes, even the dumbest ideas in wrestling can turn out okay, but I don't see TNA coming out of this with a bigger fanbase since the MMA/Bellator demographic will quickly stop watching TNA once the fight happens and Ortiz is back in Bellator. I know people think an early preview of Rampage/Ortiz could happen on TNA or at Bound for Glory, but there's no way Bellator would agree to have these two give a legit fight on TNA programming. Sigh… Perhaps Ortiz could be used to fight somebody else in TNA and if that's the plan, I don't have any issue with that. In fact, that's what I hope happens or else this makes TNA look even more desperate than before. It's possible TNA can come out of this better than before, but don't be surprised if that isn't the case. I'm gonna try as much as I can to be open about this move, but I've stated my concerns. At this point, I think TNA has more MMA guys than writers. 

Overall Impression:

Okay, let me get this out of the way. If you take out the last 2-3 minutes of the show, it wasn't that bad. Sure, nothing was memorable, but the matches were okay and even some of the segments were funny. Yes, there was plenty of silly moments like the mini-fight between Bully/Sabin and Tazz's placement was just odd, but it was also these stupid moments that made me laugh. Again, pro wrestling is gonna be silly/cheesy and you're kidding yourself if you think it has never been like that. Pro wrestling has been cheesy since the 1980s and it won't change anytime soon. Oh, there I go getting off-track again. For the most part, I thought this wasn't that bad of an episode. I would say this was an average showing at best… And then you get to the Tito Ortiz reveal and… Yeah, it does leave a bit of a sour-taste in your mouth. It definitely wasn't one of the stronger endings. I'm gonna try to be optimistic about Ortiz's presence, but don't be surprised if this was done because TNA would get some cash by shamelessly plugging another company's PPV. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I know I'm gonna get some hate for tonight's review, but I will give this a chance. Remember, it isn't how you start the race, it's how you finish. Still, I wont be surprised if this race ends without a photo-finish. Tell me what you thought of tonight's show and/or the review. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.