WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Hell in a Cell 2013. Was this a PPV good, a bust, or somewhere in the middle? Let's find out and begin. 

Opening up strong

We open the show with a fantastic match for the WWE Tag Titles. This might be a ballsy statement, but this was the match of the night in my book. I know most people will take the main event as the best, but this tag match turned a match I had slight interest in and managed to keep me glued to my seat the entire time. Big ups to Usos, Shield, and Golden Rhodes…

Hey, screw you!!! I thought that was a creative name. I can't win anything around here. Anyway, definitely a must watch if you ask me. Cody and Goldie manage to keep their championships this evening by defeating the competition. 

Return of the Fruit Roll-up

After Miz called out the Wyatt family and got attacked by them (Great idea, genius), Kane makes his return and wants to pick a fight with the Wyatts, but he also Chokeslams Miz in the process. It's hard to base a whole lot on Kane's motives at the moment since… well, it's Kane. You know, the guy who beat the s*** out of Pete Rose and got a round of applause. The man can beat up anybody and still gets cheers. It did seem the commentators were trying to play up the fact that Kane committed a crime by attacking Miz, so I guess we have to take that into account… whatever that means. Besides, it isn't like Kane and Miz go way back. Yeah, because when I think of drinking buddies, I think Kane and Miz. Okay, I'll see you after the show…

Midcard awkwardness 

It's more like Fanforgetful…

Due to Curtis Axel being scrapped due to injury, Big E went up against Dean Ambrose for the US Championship. Based on the fact this match was put together at the last moment, you can tell it looked like it. Both guys couldn't really get any chemistry in this match and it just felt very awkward to watch. While I should blame the creative department for putting this match together, I can't really complain because this was the staff trying to make the best out of a bad situation. It blew up in their face, but nobody will remember this match come tomorrow so there's no reason to harp on it. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if the plan was for Big E to become the new Belt-Shiner champion since Curtis is getting tired of shining the belt. If my theory is correct, Big E should eventually defeat Curtis between now and Survivor Series to become a professional belt-shiner. Ah, the next step up the ladder. Oh yeah, Big E won via countout in case you wanted to know. 

CM Punk's redemption

You know, part of me wonders what the hell is going through Paul Heyman's head when he decided to put himself on top of the cell structure. I know the man's scared of CM Punk, but wouldn't it be a worse idea to stand above the ring? What if WWE got the cheap crap and the cell would crumble if you threw a stapler at it? Was it on his bucket list to do a crappy reenactment of King Kong climbing the Empire State Building? Yeah, my mind went lost years ago. In fact, it was exactly like King Kong minus the woman… and the ape… and the building… and the climbing. Okay, it was NOTHING like King Kong! Why was he up there!!! I want an answer, dammit!!! After CM Punk hands Ryback the remains of his career (which wasn't a great match, but much better than the Battleground contest), Punk climbs the cell and proceeds to whip Paul's ass. You know, Paul, nothings' really stopping you from running away. What a bitch of a time to come down with a fear of heights. You know, that Zeb Colter whip would probably come in handy at the moment. Punk finally gets his months of scars and embarrassments by hitting Heyman with a GTS. I know that WWE was trying to go for that iconic moment on top of the cell structure, but you have to do something that leads to a reason to have people on top of that structure. Outside of the lazy writing for this spot, the moment itself wasn't too shabby and it should finally close the book on the Punk/Heyman storyline. This storyline needed to end tonight since its gone on long enough and both people can use a new program. 

Zeb gets violated

It's that time of the night where you get the impromptu match you've seen on Raw and/or Smackdown. Los Matadores take on the Almost Real Americans because…Umm, Zeb stole El Torito's slice of cheesecake? That's a storyline we can get down with! Let's start this party!!! I do like how they brought mention to Torito attacking Zeb. Thank you, El Torito, for goring a big pile of republicanism and hot dogs. Only the WWE can give you things like this. Of course, what's an Almost Real Americans match without the Cesaro swing…

Cena's back and it's like he never left…

John Cena made is return and defeated Alberto Del Rio for the WHC. Geeze, WWE is really going with the fact the internet has labeled Cena, 'Super Cena' based on the fact they keep throwing that around these days. I'm just waiting for the next Cena shirt to literally have the Superman logo mixed in with Cena's mumbo jumbo. I know this is off-topic, but does anybody think Cena looks like a Teletubby on steroids? Yeah, this was something I was thinking the other day… Yeah, I'm a very strange person. I know this is supposed to be a feel-good moment for Cena, but I can't help but think it's the same formula we've seen for almost the last decade. Even the commentators were trying to make this victory and comeback a big deal. Hell, JBL even had to admit he said something wrong and clap for Cena's comeback. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as negative, but it's hard for me to buy into the 'Cena's comeback' deal when he was only gone for two months AND this booking style has been done before. This isn't the first time Cena has come back from an injury and sooner rather than later, he always gets back in the spotlight and becomes champ. Yeah, he's the face of the company and is gonna be booked to look like a beast (Trust me, I get it), but part of me also feels a bit underwhelmed by this. Hell, I think it would've told a better story if Cena had lost (and I'm aware that it wasn't gonna happen) and struggled with the arm injury. It would've made him question himself and if anything, maybe bring something new out of Cena. It also would've added some credibility for Del Rio since his championship reign has been very lackluster, but that isn't what they wanted. They wanted to slap that championship on Cena as if the man never left and that's it. Part of the reason Cena gets so much hate is because of how predictable his booking is. This was a chance to do something a little different and for the time being, it's sticking with the same Cena formula we've seen for many years and I can't help but be disappointed by this. 

Bros over goats

Oh hey, it's everybody's favorite… diva match… yeah…meh… don't care…MOVING ON!!! Hey look, the Prime Time Players and Bob Backlund created an Oreo. There's money in this idea. PTP Oreos, now available at supermarkets! Okay, let's get into the final match of the night. The Orton/Bryan match was good, but it felt very similar to their previous encounters. Perhaps I'm growing tired of the Bryan/Orton matches since they aren't bad, but perhaps it's because I'm at the stage where I just want to fast-forward to the screwy finish. Come on, you know it's coming since the corporation is still new to the point where they're gonna pull out all the cards in order to get what they want, so I just want to see them get to the screwjob half the time. Triple H did come out in the middle of the match and kept pestering HBK to 'do the right thing'. After a ref bump, an unlocked cage and a knee to Trips' skull, the finish finally comes when HBK decides to avenge his fallen friend and kick his former student in the face. By the way, that Sweet Chin Music looked really bad. It didn't even look like he hit Bryan. Somebody messed up that delivery! Anyway, Randy picks the bones and Randy is your new WWE Champion… again. Based on Shawn's emotions, it didn't really seem like a heel turn and more like 'I'll be my best friend's bitch and do what he wants' sort of move. Keep in mind that at the time of this review, I haven't watched or read up on Raw so for the time being, I don't consider this a heel turn. It definitely has the elements for HBK to turn heel, but we have to wait until Shawn explains himself to really determine why he did this. As far as Randy winning the title, it was expected. Bryan probably won't win the title until WrestleMania time. In fact, Daniel Bryan is the early favorite to win the Royal Rumble, but I imagine many people are starting to think this as this time. I know people are raging over tonight's finish but as always in the pro wrestling world, you have to be patient and give these things time to flesh out. The payoff hasn't happened yet and in good time, it will eventually come. You can't jump to conclusions since storylines aren't gonna get their payoffs immediately. 

Overall Impression:

This PPV was very hit and miss in my book. It had elements where it was entertaining and enjoyable, but there were also moments where it just seem to run on auto-pilot. Even though this PPV had more story behind it than the last two PPVs, I don't think you're missing a whole lot if you missed out on this show. While the HBK turn can be a big enough of a surprise for some of you, something about it was always at the back of my mind and in a way, I saw it coming. While the PPV was a step in the right direction, part of me felt it was a bit disappointing. In fact, that's the best way to describe this PPV. While it did entertain me and this was much more enjoyable than Night of Champions and Battleground, I was still a bit disappointed with this showing. I felt like more could've been done with this PPV to really make it stand out. It's possible WWE held back a bit since they might have something game-changing at Survivor Series and want to save the bigger stuff for one of the big four, but I also wouldn't be surprised if this was their 'game-changing swerve'. If I had to give WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give it a 6 out of 10…

I think that's a fair score since I would say this was an above average PPV and nothing more than that. If you skipped out on this PPV, you didn't really miss out on much but there is enough here to keep you entertained. The PPV is at least worth viewing once, but maybe only once. I did enjoy this PPV for what it was worth, but I was still wanting more at the end of the day. Yeah, I'm a selfish WrestlingNerd. Anyway, that's gonna do it for this review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight's show and my stupid thoughts. I'll see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official score for WWE Hell in a Cell 2013: 6 out of 10

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 10/21/13 Review (Who signs contracts at contract signings?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 10/21/13. How was Raw this week? Let's find out and begin.

Big Hacker

We open up the show with Triple H and Stephanie. They talk about Chinese food or something until Big Show interrupts the party via satellite. Nice to see the Rock's handiwork is being utilized by the other talents. How in the world did Show hack into the program? Does he have a top secret crew of people willing to work for a pocket full of quarters? Even MacGyver would be scratching his head right now. After telling the 'best for business' couple to f*** off until he gets cut off. We also get some more disrespect from Daniel Bryan by parading around the ring. I know the corporation wants to blame Bryan and Show, but the real people to blame is the production crew. Makes you wonder what their punishment will be…

In a decent opening match, Goat Man defeated Dean Ambrose. Remember when the US Championship had a storyline? Then again, I probably shouldn't be so harsh since all they had to worry about back then was Y2K and Donald Trump's hair! Anyway, Shawn Michaels had a segment with the power couple and mentions how they've changed for all the wrong reasons and have forgotten to have fun. Maybe building a water slide would solve all of this? Hey, I bet you weren't expecting that one this evening! 

Who pushed that fast forward button? 

Hey, it's Memphis everybody! Let's go out there and do some Elvis/music thing that makes no sense to entertain you. More like a jailhouse pen if you ask me…

We're gonna skip ahead a bit since there's no reason to bring up stuff like the CM Punk promo or the Orton/Dolph match since there's not much to say. We can also skip the diva match since it's dancing chesticales in a ring. Besides, why talk about that stuff when we can talk about the Paul Heyman promo. Jesus Christ, what the hell is Paul Heyman on? I think this is the result of getting a giant bag of cocaine and throwing it over a person. Still, that was the funniest thing I've seen all night. You can live you life on those words…Liquid magma, bitch!!! In fact, it looks like somebody in the back had a second bag to throw on R-Truth for that WWEShop promotion. He probably passed out after he was done with that ramble. Well, at least he found a way to get work. After all, that guy with the internet show isn't really having much luck. 

Big Face Langston

On last week's edition of Smackdown. Big E Langston made a face turn by helping out CM Punk and fight off Rybully and Curtis Something. It was a bit of a surprise to say the least, but also a surprise I welcome. There's something about Big E that really stands out. I don't look at Big E as just another musclebound light-pole because Big E actually shows some personality/charisma that makes him enjoyable. I hope to see good things from this face turn. After Vickie Guerrero pulls off a Teddy Long and creates a tag team match…

Punk and Big E defeat Paul Heyman Guys. The match does more build for Punk/Heyman and it also gave Big E an IC title match against Curtis at the HIAC pre-show. I won't say much about the Almost Real Americans/Tons of Saturated Fat contest, but I do have to mention the aftermath. Did Zeb Colter just pull out a whip? Talking about the immigration deal is one thing, but a whip seems to be pushing the boundaries a bit. Notice how the commentators were trying to say how it's a 'bull whip', but a whip is a whip at the end of the day. It seems a Real Americans/Los Matadores feud came about within the last week. It's a bit odd since both tag teams seem to be gaining some positive feedback, but they also could be the extra spark the tag division needs to make it what it was a year ago. 

JBL's stand-up

 'Eh, it's only Josh Matthews.'

Yeah, he's absolutely right. We can get another one those in the unemployment line; no harm done! That was my favorite JBL line of the night. If you're curious, the runner up was, 'I just got a 'oh snap' by Goldust?'. Due to all the craziness that is my life, I was unable to review Raw last week. One of the big things that happened on last week's show was Cody Rhodes and Goldust defeating the Shield to become the new WWE Tag Champs. I don't mind the title change before the PPV since it would've been redundant to have the same tag team match for two straight PPVs. I like Cody and Goldie getting the tag titles, but if this is anything like what happens with these type of championships, they won't do much with the titles after their feud with the Shield ends. Then again, with Real Americans and Los Matadores getting some attention, this tag title could be as meaningful as Team Hell No's title reign. To be fair, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns tag title reign was okay at the end of the day and I wouldn't say it was TOO under the radar. Due to Cody and Goldie getting involved with all the Shield antics, the #1 Contender match between Shield and Usos ended in a no contest. Due to this, it will be a Triple Threat match for the tag titles. I have no issues with that match since I think it could be a lot of fun. Nice touch!

Contract Arguing (Did they even sign anything?)

The final segment of the night was a contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. The thing I like about this is seeing DB, Randy and Trips talk to one another and HBK just standing there smiling. He's just there for the food. Can we give Shawn a hammock or something? Never mind, it appears Shawn has something to say after Trips claims DB isn't even good enough to fight him because he only fights 'stars'. This segment started to get really interesting when Shawn and Trips started to exchange some words. Randy and DB are ready to fight until… A semi truck shows up out of nowhere? I think the TNA wrestlers made a wrong turn at Albuquerque…

Actually, it turns out to be Big Show's semi. How did he afford that? I'm just gonna assume he stole it. Okay, who let that door open? I'm telling you, Show must have a secret organization that's pulling all these strings for him. How is he doing this? The show ends with Show and DB doing a 'Yes' chant. This was definitely one of the better segments for this evening. Gotta give them credit for that.

Overall Impression:

Tonight's show wasn't too bad. It wasn't perfect since there was a few moments that really didn't do much for me, but when the show did something worthwhile, it was pretty good. The last half of the show was definitely the most interesting to witness since it built up the bigger matches for HIAC. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the build for HIAC has been better than the build for Battleground and tonight's show has me invested in Sunday's PPV. This PPV has all the ingredients to do better than the last two WWE PPVs, but we won't know that until the show's over. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my ramblings and tonight's show. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 9/9/13 Review (Edge must save him...later...)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 9/9/13. What happens this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with an apology from me. Sorry there was no Smackdown or Impact reviews last week. I'm in the middle of recovering from a cold and just taking it easy until I'm healthy once more. I should also note that the likelihood of SD and Impact reviews this week probably won't happen due to the fact that I'll be out of town once more due to personal reasons. Again, I apologize for the choppy schedule, but hopefully I'll figure out some type of system to get this a little more consistent. I know it bothers people and it honestly bothers me, but just be patient and things should hopefully get back to normal real soon. 

Show up... plug a show... leave

Anyway, Edge opens up the show with the Cutting Edge. He basically says Randy Orton is a little bitch due to the fact he's the corporate puppet, so he's gonna have a different guest in Daniel Bryan. After some talk from the hopeful underdog, Edge pretty much calls out all of Triple H's garbage and how he sucks at picking talent. Trips says while he admits to being wrong about talent, but thinks Edge was never that great of a talent and was overrated. I know the line was used in the show, but Trips really puts the 'dick' in 'dictator'. And it's nice to see Trips living up to his new persona by having Christian beaten up off-screen. Of course, it was reported that Christian did have a concussion, but I thought it was a clever touch to write him off in this fashion. I especially love this scene where Trips is telling Edge this is 'his' town and wants him out, but I mostly love it because of Dean Ambrose. He just has that look where he isn't paying attention to what's being spoken and is thinking to himself. Hmmm… Did I leave the oven on his morning?… Well, that's gonna be a problem when I get back. So, how does Edge get his revenge? By doing absolutely nothing! I know the man is limited in what he can do, but it would've been a nice touch to see him run out there and screw over the corporation to some degree. Eh, oh well…

Dr. Punk

Curtis Axel's anger gets the best of him and it gives Kofi Kingston a DQ victory. Well, that was nice of him. Let's celebrate by offering him a plate of d--kick to the face… Well, that plan backfired, what do you want from me!? To continue with this storyline, Paul Heyman 'trips' on water backstage and wants to have his own doctor take a look at him…

As you would guess, Heyman uses this 'injury' as a means of getting himself out of the match against CM Punk this Sunday. In order for this to work, Heyman has to allow the WWE medical team to evaluate his condition. That's right folks, we have a medical evaluation going on in the ring right now. I think some would like to call bulls*** on this, but this is also the same show that had a paternity test as well so anything can happen on here. Next week, we get to see a bully intervention for Ryback. YAY!!! After Heyman calls the doctor a quack, Punk arrives to give him a third opinion. While not as strong as last week's segment, this was still entertaining enough to keep me invested. It was campy and over-the-top, but very enjoyable from my perspective. 

Divas segment

During the Total Divas vs other divas match, AJ continues to be outspoken on the ladies and their reality TV show status. I like the new AJ. She has more fire with her words and it seems more natural for her. It was almost a good fit for her to go down this direction. I'm gonna ask an honest question… Did you even watch the diva match or were you listening more to AJ's words? I honestly don't remember a thing from the diva match. Let's see… there's a couple of women fighting… I think a Sharpshooter showed up…somebody wore blue… that's all I remember. Once again, we get mixed messages since one week the actions in the ring showed you were supposed to be concerned with AJ, but this week, Cole and Lawler were basically attacking her while on commentary and she even insulted them in the process. We're getting some mixed signals with who's playing face/heel for this rivalry, but I think it's for the best. Leave it up to the audience to determine who's in the right/wrong here. I'm personally pulling for AJ, but that's just me. 

Goldie vs Golden Boy

One of the main themes of tonight's show was Goldust trying to avenge his brother's firing by fighting to get his job back. In order for Cody Rhodes to be hired once again, Goldust would have to defeat Randy Orton in a singles match. I've always enjoyed Goldust's work throughout his career. Sure, the man's character is very odd and can seem a little bizarre, but I've always felt he went out there and gave his best and found a way to be enjoyable. Goldie gives it his best shot to defeat Randy, but it wasn't enough. Due to the defeat, Goldust has to…Umm…He…Ummmmmm…Hmmm…What exactly is the punishment if Goldust lost the match? Does he have to pay? Does he have to give up his wardrobe? Does he have to wash Trips' car? What's the punishment? Oh well, I guess the punishment of Stephanie unleashing bitch-mode on you for disappointing the Rhodes family is punishment enough. Speaking of which, right on time, Steph! Aww, poor Goldust. I haven't seen him this down since breaking up with Booker T. I really liked how this came across. Makes me wonder what the Rhodes family will do in order to get one over on the McMahons. 

WrestlingNerd's ADD moment(s) of the night

Bray Wyatt defeated Dolph Ziggler due to all the help from the Wyatt family. Hmmm, I wonder if Dolph is missing AJ and Big E at this point? Hey look, it's RVD and Alberto Del Rio building up something… or someone…I got nothing. Although, I thought it was funny to have RVD vs Ryback. Turns out the loser of the match would have to get a new artist for their attire. Antonio Cesaro went up against Santino this evening. It's been awhile since we've seen Santino and it was great to finally seem him back. The best part of the match was seeing the spinning Santino. It's the WWE Game Show: Spin the Santino… WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I want to play! I know it would've been dangerous, but part of me wanted to see him fly into the audience. How far can he go? Nobody knows!!! Why did I talk about any of this? I don't know!!!

DB lives?

The final match of the night was Daniel Bryan vs Dean Ambrose. Big Show was forced to watch on the outside since Show's contract states he must cry at least once a week. After all, the man's 'broke'. I also find it funny when it breaks things backstage since I imagine he has to pay for that. Instead of feeding the family, I must break or blow up stuff. Blow s*** up! Anyway, DB defeats Ambrose despite some Shield assistance. After the match, Shield attacks while Sad Show continues to be tortured. Randy Orton comes out and hits and RKO. This seems to be the end of the show, meaning that the IWC can bitch about the show ending the same yet again….BUT WAIT!!! Trips comes out and wants Show to deliver a KO punch to DB. Show continues to question him while Randy is getting in his face to follow orders. After some more bitching from the substitute golden boy, DB gets back up and hits Randy in the face with a Captain Falcon knee. It's like a rising knee to the face! Yeah, so the show ends with Bryan standing tall for once. I know it's gonna be common for the corporation to stand tall in future episodes, but you gotta mix it up once in a while. I know the likelihood of Bryan actually winning this Sunday is 0-1%, but I just hope to see an entertaining match until it comes time to perform the shenanigans. 

Overall Impression:

This episode wasn't too bad. I really liked the opening, but it does leave you with an empty feeling and it did bother me a bit. I realize Edge is very limited in what he can do, but interference by waiving his arms in the air would've been appreciated. Outside of that, I thought this was a decent episode to go into Night of Champions. I know it looks like NoC can be one of those filler PPVs since there most likely won't be a WWE title change, but something can happen in the WHC department since that guy in the robe is still lurking. Yeah, I really don't have much to say about this episode. It wasn't bad or anything since it was still pretty good episode, but it doesn't hold up against some of the other episodes as of late. Like those episodes have been so good that even a decent episode can be look at as average. Does that make any sense? Well, I think I need to wrap this up. Thanks for checking out the review and tell me what you thought of the show or the review. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.