WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Slammiversary 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Slammiversary 2013. Was this a successful PPV or was it a bust? Let's find out and start the review. 

MegaMan X Division

Why did I give it that title? I don't f***ing know, I was hoping you would. We open up the show with the Ultimate X match. I know there's been some brief build between Kenny King and Chris Sabin, but there was very little of it when you look back at the last month. Hell, where does Suicide rank in this whole thing? There's literally no reason for this character to be here. This is one of the faults to making all X Division title matches to be under triple threat rules. While I can see the argument that it makes it more exciting with more flips and s***, it does take away from storylines. At the same time, do people watch the X/Cruiserweight division for storylines? I honestly don't think so, but most of you know that I want to see these guys bring more personality to their characters. Having skills in the ring is one thing, but you can make a bigger splash if you have the charisma to back it up. The match was everything you would expect. All three guys nearly kill themselves to put on a good show. It was definitely a good way to get the action going for the evening. Sabin finally knocks Kenny off the ropes to finally pull down the championship. We appear to have a new X Division Champion. I can't really argue with Sabin getting the title. He at least has more personality than Taller Shelton Benjamin. After the match, Shep Ramsey comes out to talk about Andre the Giant. Hogan has a gift to somehow reference his glory days. Seriously, he does this every week. What, is it written in his contract to reference Andre the Giant? Maybe he gets $50,000 for every old school reference? Anyway, he tells Sabin that if he holds onto that championship long enough, he can turn it in and become a real boy…

Naw, I'm just kidding. It does seem that TNA is keeping true to the Destination X concept from a year ago….Despite the fact there's no Destination X PPV anymore. My guess is they will do this idea on Impact rather than PPV. If done well, it could be a good idea. 

Going off script

I don't want to hear about Ken Anderson's giblets. What the hell is wrong with you? Boston isn't afraid of no ghost? What's the joke? Since when does Boston get remembered for ghost? Are you just being random? I think Hogan was just desperate for a Ghostbusters reference. Then again, this is also the same guy who has the tagline of being immortal.

So, Aces & Eights and Hogan are talking about how each of their teams are gonna dominate tonight, while Hogan surprises them with a match they knew about since a week ago. I'm not sure which is stupid. The fact Hogan is doing an individual rundown of his whole team or the fact everybody is acting surprised about this match. We knew about this match already, so playing it as a surprise is kinda stupid. I think TNA ran out of script and told Hogan and Anderson to improvise. It would explain why they talked in circles for about five minutes. I like Magnus, but him as a babyface is not working for me. He looks so awkward playing this role. I know he's trying, but it feels very forced from his perspective. Needless to say, Magnus works better as a heel than face. Hmmm….Maybe I should talk about the match…..Hardy made his return this week. I would question why the company wouldn't bother to advertise one of their bigger stars sooner, but I don't think much thought went into orchestrating this match. And speaking of which, I…..Wow, I just keep trailing off. Every time I try to talk about this match, I just go off on another tangent. I find it more interesting to talk about the characters in this match as opposed to the actual match. I had no interest in this match to begin with, but after watching this performance, I realize that I had even less interest than before. Is that even possible? Jeff Hardy and crew defeat Aces & Eights, so let's move on. 

Jay who?

Wow! There was literally no reaction for Sam Shaw. I can just smell the future this man's gonna have. This Jay Bradley doesn't really interest me either. Every time somebody says 'Boomstick', I think of Bruce Campbell. Let's be honest, Bradley is NOWHERE near the coolness that is Bruce Campbell….

Bradley picks up the victory and officially becomes the first person in the BFG Series. Look for him to be the person to finish on the bottom-half of the standings when it's said and done. I know I should remain optimistic about his place, but he hasn't shown a whole lot and is a rookie. TNA doesn't tend to do well with rookies, but we shall wait and see what this guy can do now that he has the opportunity….Sort of. 

Chris Park is the new TV Champ

Due to Card Games taking out Joseph Park, Abyss comes out to be his replacement. Are you really surprised? I honestly don't think you should be, but maybe I'm wrong. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam and we have a new TV Champ. I know this is the part of the review where I talk about how this move will effect the TV title, but let's look at the past five TV Champs and see how they've 'changed the scene'. Devon held the title twice and it literally sat on his waist for 370 days…..Something about that phrase seems sad. Robbie E was champ and continued to be unfunny. Samoa Joe, Eric Young, and Gunner also won the title and did nothing with the title. To be fair, it isn't their faults this belt is pointless. It comes down to the writing for the belt and it simply has been nonexistent for years. My prediction for Abyss' reign as TV Champ is to dominate for a while, get very little work, then drop the title to the next person creative feels like giving a shot. Don't forget to lather, rinse, and repeat the process. Never forget!

The Hall of Fame is at an angle

Kurt Angle is the second member of the TNA Hall of Fame. I still think it's ridiculous for a company that's 11 years old to have its own HoF. I would think you have to be around at least 25-30 years to even consider the thought, but I digress. Want to know something interesting? Kurt was in WWE for almost 8 years, but has worked in TNA for almost 7 years. If you wait a few more months, Kurt would've worked in TNA longer than WWE. That makes you think, doesn't it? I know people will argue that Jeff Jarrett should've been the inductee, but questioning it means giving TNA's Hall of Fame a ton of credit….which it isn't. I'm not saying being around for 11 years isn't impressive. It really is, but no 11 year company should have a HoF. Somebody about it just seems egotistical if you ask me. 

Tag title transformation

It's time for the Tag Team Clusterf*** for the evening. Here's a funny way of looking at this match. You broke up Beer Money so you could create two new tag teams. Huzzah? I got a tag team name for James Storm and Gunner. How do you feel about Drunken Garbage? I really think this can catch on if people give it a chance. At the same time, I can't expect TNA to do something that creative since they call Roode/Aries the Dirty Heels. I still think Greatest Factor is a much better name. The match was pretty entertaining. This was an elimination style match, so it kept going until there was only one team remaining. Storm and Gunner finally defeat Greatest Factor and become the new tag champs. This pairing still seems weird in my eyes. I honestly don't see the connection between these two. It's literally an odd couple routine. While the odd pairing is nothing new, (ie: Team Hell No, Greatest Factor, any Santino pairing), this one doesn't seem right since those teams has comedy at their disposal. Storm can be funny, but Gunner's about as funny as a kick to the balls. This is one of those things you have to give time since the pairing literally came out of left field. For TNA's sake, I hope it pans out.  

Are you sure? 

Okay, I've been hearing a lot of talk from this match. Really? Taryn Terrell vs Gail Kim? This is the match that stood out? This one? Well, there's no way I can make that claim…..

*One match later*

Dude!!! This might've been one of the better women's wrestling matches that I've seen in years. The ladies really went out there and put on a good show. You gotta give them credit for going the extra mile and a half. With that said, I don't think even this will change the view of women's wrestling. It's always gonna be subjected to the eye candy/filler/bathroom break portion of the show and I don't think this match will change that. It will get some buzz from the 10-percenters, but that's about it at the end of the day. Still, give these ladies a round of applause. They really busted their asses to pull something off. Is that an innuendo? 

Hall of Fame has its perks

Tazz thinks the moves in this match are nasty…

Seriously, why is he saying this word so damn much? Does he get a cookie every time he says it? I've seen better Styles/Angle matches, but this was still a great match in the series. I don't even think it's possible to witness a bad Styles/Angle match. The finish comes when Kurt picks up a rollup victory. While the finish protects Styles' stock, Styles needed to win this match more than Kurt. What does Kurt gain from winning this match? Not a whole lot if you think about it. I honestly think the only reason Kurt won this match is because he was the Hall of Fame inductee. That's still a pretty dumb reason to give the victory to somebody if that turns out to be the excuse. Styles has done a decent job with the character and I think needed to win in order to keep the momentum in his favor. He doesn't lose a ton of stock from this defeat, but you have to admit that a win would've made his claim a lot more. 

No gold for you!

Bully claims to use the Piledriver to finish off Sting tonight. I'm sure that will never happen ton….

*One match later*

I need to learn when to shut my mouth sometimes. Not only did Bully hit the Piledriver, he hit multiple Piledrivers while Sting basically said…

I know I've been critical on some of Sting's performances, but this type of match proves everybody still has the magic to make something happen on any given night. I know most of the credit should be given to Bully Ray, but you gotta give Sting some love. Aces & Eights arrive, so it's shenanigans time! Bully hits Sting in the face with some hammer time to retain the championship. With the victory, Sting can no longer challenge for the world championship. If you ask me, it was about time. Sting has done it all (Minus a WWE stint) and doesn't need to go for the gold. At this stage of his career, he should just help up-and-comers find their identity and stick to part-time wrestling. At the same time, is TNA really gonna honor that stipulation? We have to keep in mind that this is the realms of pro wrestling. You know, where Mick Foley can be retired 3-4 different times. Where John Cena gets fired and hired in a span of 30 days. I can keep going, but I've made my point. 

Overall Impression:

I know a lot of people seem to think that my negativities/jokes are me bad-mouthing the PPV, but that's just me having a good time. Some people need to lighten up since men wrestling in tights and acting out soap opera storylines is a subject that really needs to be taken seriously….

I honestly thought TNA Slammiversary was a very entertaining show. Most of the matches were very well done and I was mostly invested in a majority of the matches. There was plenty of title changes and most of the storylines progressed very well tonight. I'm the first to admit that I'm not fully in-love with all of TNA's storylines, but there are still a few that stick out in my eyes. I would say this is the best PPV TNA has put on in 2013. On a scale of 1-10 and 5 considered average, I give TNA Slammiversary 2013 a 7 out of 10. This is a show I can recommend if you're looking for some entertaining matches. Well, I better wrap this up since I'm behind on some work. Anyway, tell me what you thought of the review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official Score of TNA Slammiversary: 7 out of 10