WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 5/14/12 (Robots have terrible programming)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 5/14/12. With Over the Limit set for this week, how do things go down? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up with a short backstage scene. John Laurinaitis and Triple H are talking. Trips is wearing a metal/plastic sling. He looks like Dr. Claw. Johnny says he had nothing to do with Brock Lesnar attacking him. He also feels sorry for Trips because he was unable to defend himself against Brock. A BULLS***!!! Trips is now in the ring and wants to address what happened a few weeks ago. Trips doesn't have a problem with Brock's physical nature, it's his attitude that's the problem. Brock kept talking about bringing legitimacy to the WWE, but Brock doesn't believe what others did for the wrestling business. Trips tells a story about what Brock is all about, a quitter. Brock is one of the toughest guys out there, but whenever he meets someone who beats him up, he ends up quitting. He did that in his first run in WWE, NFL, UFC, and now did it again in WWE. Paul Heyman shows up with some random attorney and they have some words to say. Paul brings up the live contract negotiations a few weeks back and how Trips was out of line when he ripped up the contract. Paul also thinks Trips is afraid of Brock because he's a fighter working for an entertainment company. Because Trips ripped up the contact, Brock is suing Trips for not paying him. Paul adds more salt to the wound by saying Brock was disappointed in Trips. He was disappointed in a guy, who he thought was tough, couldn't do anything to him. Trips starts to get angry with Paul, so he grabs him with his good arm and wants to attack, but he eventually lets him go. Trips says Brock will get EVERYTHING he deserves….

Oh, but Paul has one more thing to add. Because Trips put his hands on Paul, Trips is getting hit with a second lawsuit. Yeah, he didn't think this one through. This is what happens when you put Triple H in charge of things. You get a lawsuit. Nobody thought of the negatives of sending Trips to that ring? Oh, the BOD is "brilliant". Anyway, there isn't a lot to report. It's just more build-up between Brock and Trips. This is still in the early stages, so this is gonna take a while. I think what will end up happening is Brock and Trips reaching an agreement to beat the crap out of each other. Then again, maybe they got a curveball in mind? Let's wait and see what happens. 

Match #1: CM Punk and Santino vs Daniel Bryan and Cody Rhodes

Every once in a while, Santino manages to have his moments. The fear of doing the suicide dive was pretty funny, but the best one was when he did the roll-through jump to make a tag, but was a little short….

Once Punk gets in the match, he pretty much takes care of the rest. Daniel tried many times to land a cheap-shot, but he was unsuccessful. The finish comes when Cody walks into the GTS. Bryan left his partner hanging. The commentators did bring up something involved Santino and Cody. Apparently, they are arguing over which title is better, the IC or the US Championship. Is there a possible unification match coming soon? Considering that anyone can go on any show at their leisure (Why do I keep thinking they are gonna have a WWE Draft this year? It would be pretty pointless, unless the mixed brands is only temporary), it would actually make sense to unify the mid-card championships. Then again, I'm completely jumping the gun by talking about unification matches. Let's just see what they got going on here. By the way, that's all the build-up you get regarding Punk and Bryan. They really are relying on their Indy days to make people interested in this feud. This is what happens when you only have three weeks to build for a PPV and Johnny is everywhere. Oh well. I'm still looking forward to the match. Hopefully, we get a rematch between the two. 

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk and Santino

Match #2: Beth Phoenix vs Alicia Fox

This was a short match. When was the last time a diva match lasted five minutes on free TV? Then again, they are going for the WAM BAM fan-service. Layla is watching this match. Beth wins cleanly with the Glam Slam. After the match, Beth is attacking Alicia, but Layla arrives to save her. She manages to get the upper hand on Beth. Whatever happened to the "ankle injury"? These WWE employees can sure recover very fast from these injuries. That's some good health-care going on in WWE. Yes, I know it was kayfabe. 

Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix

Match #3: Big Show vs Kane

Oh, I'm sure the internet was complaining about this match. Then again, what doesn't get a complaint these days? Seriously, no one forces you watch this show. Just turn the TV off, flip the channel, or close the window. It isn't that hard…..

The match was okay….Considering their size. Then again, I think I've seen this match about 90 million times. Johnny and David Otunga are watching this match on the outside. Hey, Otunga's back!!! Applause? I guess not. Anyway, the finish comes when Johnny interrupts the match and demands his apology right now. Kane then hits……A Chokeslam? That looked more like a push to the ground. What, did Show give up? I guess he already accepted his fate, but maybe I'm jumping ahead of myself. Regardless, Kane gets the victory with the worst Chokeslam ever. Johnny has more stuff to say afterwords. 

Winner via not giving a s***: Kane 

After the match, Johnny wants his apology. Show goes on a speech in how he has been in this business for 18 years. He is content with his career, but he doesn't want to leave. He loves this job, the fans, and the people in the back. He says you can fine him or ban him from championship matches, but don't take away his way of life. He apologizes for making fun of Johnny's voice. Johnny wants him to say it again, but in a way Bender would want it hear it, LOUDER AND SADDER!!! Show apologizes one more time, but Johnny is still not impressed. He tells him to get on his knees and beg for his job. Show is in tears, but keeps chickening out of kneeling down. What, does the ring have broken glass? Yeah, I get that it's making him feel less of a man. Show says he can't kneel down. Johnny is disgusted with Show, but he will reconsider it. Well, I guess we can……oh, he's still talking. That's okay, I can wait. Robots can process stuff right away. Johnny is about to fire Show, but Show tells him to wait a second. He actually kneels down on the broken glass and apologizes once again. Johnny is STILL not impressed. Who pissed in your corn flakes, Roboinaitis? Johnny finally fires Big Show. Show is in the middle of the ring, crying. Is…..Is he gone? Okay, NOW I can talk about the scene. That was interesting. I think Show delivered a pretty convincing acting performance. At the time, I was almost wondering if Show was leaning towards retirement or his contract was expiring. I know the smarks will say otherwise because they read the dirt sheets, but that's what was going through my head AT THE TIME!!! I gotta say that or else I will get slammed by the internet. Then again, I think Show's character has been fired before. I'm sure he'll find a way back. In fact, I got a theory in how Show gets his job back, but I'll save that for later tonight. Trust me, I have a good reason for doing this…..Even though I'm sure some of you are thinking the same thing. 

Match #4: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, and Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Miz

Show just got fired and people are crushed. There's only one cure for depression like this……boobies!!! I hope the ladies who check out this page (All three of you, jk) aren't too angry with me right now. The stupid things I do for comedy. If the brand exclusive is basically gone, why hasn't Miz thought about showing up on SD? Wrestling logic? Its like the separate brands only exist when it feels like it. Great, more wrestling logic. This was not a long match. If fact, I thought the skybox got more screen time than the match. AW was sitting in a skybox with the Puerto Rican Express, Rosa Mendes, and Mason Ryan. AW sure likes to take his time in negotiating new talents. Anyway, good guys win when Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on Miz, followed up by the Funk It Splash by Brodus. Was this the same guy who won the WWE Championship back in 2010? Things are not going well for Miz. 

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay, Kofi Kingston, and R-Truth

A quick backstage scene. Punk was talking with Alex Riley. Hey, Riley made an appearance in which he didn't lose OR wasn't anything involving NXT? What is this madness? Anyway, AJ shows up and…….She's completely insane. She wishes Punk good luck in his championship match against Bryan on Sunday…..

Punk accepts it, but he doesn't want to get involved with this Bryan/AJ drama. Punk also adds that AJ has been pretty unstable up to this point. Punk walks away, while AJ is crushed. Oh AJ…….How did you get so crazy? 

Never mind. I honestly feel bad for AJ. With the way she comes off on television, how can you not show any sympathy for her? 

Match #5: Chris Jericho vs Randy Orton

Sheamus was on commentary for this match. There was no Alberto Del Rio or Ricardo Rodriguez tonight. Kinda makes you wonder why they didn't have them show up? Well, there's always SD. This wasn't a long match, but it was decent. During the match, Jericho tossed Randy into Sheamus. Randy and Jericho get back in the ring. Randy is setting up for the RKO, but Sheamus pulls Jericho under the ring and attacks him. The ref issues Jericho the win, via DQ. After the match, Randy gets in Sheamus' face. Randy is pissed off that Sheamus got involved in his match. He wants to throw-down right now. Sheamus is ready to go. Just as the two get in the ring, officials arrive to break it up. Awwww, I wanted to see them fight. There's a lot of chaos going on in this Fatal 4Way match. I think it will be interesting to watch this match. I still think Sheamus will retain, but maybe they have something else in mind? Because of their altercation, it will be Sheamus vs Randy on SD this week. Kane will fight Zack Ryder in the OtL pre-show……in what will be a very short match. 

Time for the final segment of the night. Johnny and Cena are in the middle of the ring. Johnny says Cena is a loser and so is anyone who supports Cena. Well, that's a good way to piss off 75% of your fans. Cena mocks Johnny since he acts like this is a political race and makes fun of his voice. Says he shouldn't have fired Show. He says Johnny is the King of Douchbags. Cena makes fun of Johnny's decision making in the WWE and how he has a poor track record. In fact, you could say that Johnny is a…..

Cena watched way too much Ace Venture as a kid. He went a little overboard here. It was funny the first couple of times, but then it looked like an act of desperation. Then again, the crowd loves it, so what the hell would I know? Still, it seemed like he was mooing after a while. Cena mocks People Power, talks Steel Curtain, and Pittsburgh Penguins. Well, it wouldn't be 2012 if there wasn't a "YES" chant. Johnny is angry that he was gonna reference Penguins in his promo. They go back and forth for a while. This bit ends with Cena telling Johnny to go puck himself. Okay…..THAT was pretty funny. Eve arrives and delivers a letter to Johnny. Cena takes the paper and reads it to the audience. According to the Board of Directors, Johnny vs Cena will be a 1-on-1 match. There will be no special referee, no one is allowed at ringside and if anyone interferes, they are fired from WWE. To add insult to injury, if Johnny loses at OtL, he will be fired. Johnny is pissed off, so he slaps Cena and leaves. If the BOD have this much power, why don't they just run the show? Oh well, it isn't important. What is important is how Johnny is pretty much screwed…..BUT WAIT!!! Remember Big Show getting fired? Well, this is my theory. Then again, I think there's a large amount of people who were thinking this too. What I think will end up happening is Show interfering to either attack Johnny, thus Johnny wins via DQ, or Show takes out Cena, thus selling his soul to the robot. Show is already fired in kayfabe, so it makes sense. The other option is for Brock to show up and attack Cena. Then again, why would Brock show up if he quit? Well, he might want to one-up Trips. The other reason is simple, he's Brock Lesnar. He does whatever the hell he wants, so him showing up and attacking someone is right up his ally. I don't see Johnny getting fired this Sunday, but they will do something to lessen the blow of Cena losing. Maybe they have another surprise in mind? That surprise factor is enough to keep in invested in this match. Yeah, I'm sure the match is gonna drag, but this is more about the storyline/surprise factor than it is about wrestling quality. Oh, and Cena recovered pretty fast from that arm injury. There was no sling and he was moving it around just fine. Does Cena have a life-time supply of senzu beans? Actually, that would explain a lot. 

Overall Impression:

Raw was okay. I would say it was more average, but with a heavy emphasis on storyline. I can see a lot of people not liking the fact that there was so much talking. This is the "Go home" edition, meaning it's common to get more promo time since they want their stars to be healthy going into the PPV. To be fair, they didn't do the best job building up the PPV. They definitely focused on Johnny/Cena, but look at everything else? Punk/Bryan was glanced over, while everything else got a slight mention. They did talk about the Trips/Brock deal, but that's something for later on. There are some interesting things going into OtL, but some of these things seemed rushed. Then again, there was only three weeks to build up OtL. The last couple of years, the OtL PPV has generally been one of the weaker PPVs. With all that said, I hope this can be one of the better PPVs. My expectations aren't high for OtL, but I do expect a couple of key moves at this PPV. Well, I guess we will have to wait until Sunday to see what they are going to do. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. In case you are curious, I won't be doing an Over the Limit Rundown. If you DO want predictions (Which I don't really care for), I can give out some quick thoughts with the TNA or SD review this week. I'll just toss it in at the end of the review. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.