WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 4/9/12

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 4/9/12. How will things go down with Brock Lesnar back in town? Well, let's find out and start the review.

We open up the show with John Laurinaitis and David Otunga, Ace Attorney. That's gonna be the title of the next Phoenix Wright video game. Anyway, Johnny welcomes the new face of the WWE, Brock Lesnar. Johnny also says it will be Brock vs Cena at Extreme Rules. I like the idea for the match, but I can't help but think it's coming a little too soon. Then again, Brock and Cena can actually go more than one match, so who really knows. As soon as Brock arrives, he thanks Johnny for finally bringing legitimacy to the company. I like how we say Johnny brings legitimacy, but no robot jokes. I'm disappointed here, but I guess that's why we have me. John Cena interrupts and poses on the ramp like a superhero. Leave it to Cena to do the superhero poses on this show. Cena gets in the ring and gives Brock a bitch-slap. Yeah, I'm sure nothing will go wrong after this....

Brock attacks Cena and a brawl begins. WWE officials and various superstars showed up to separate the two. I like how you restrain Brock, but he still manages to break free. What, so 20-30 guys can't hold down one guy? This is wrestling logic if I ever saw it. As soon as you see Cena, you can see he is bleeding from his mouth. If you listen real closely, you can hear the IWC orgasm as they saw the blood. I bet after tonight, this will really spark the Attitude Era revival on the wrestling websites. Those discussions will never die, won't they? After a couple more scuffles, the people restraining Brock managed to get him out of the ring. After the fight, Cena is smiling like always. I'm almost convinced that Cena's smile is permanent. Overall, a very exciting start to the show. It was pretty intense and it shows how Cena and Brock straight up don't like each other. The blood spot wasn't necessary, but I think it added a nice touch to everything going around. At the same time, the blood spot was most likely not planned as Brock popped Cena pretty good in the jaw. Just be thankful that Brock didn't deliver a Falcon Punch. I think they would've had to end the show if that happened. And before I forget, William Regal made an appearance. REGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are backstage with Teddy Long and Johnny. Roboinaitis is irate that Teddy didn't keep Cena in check. Yeah, you put a 64-year old man in charge of containing Cena. That would be like putting Chiaotzu in charge of containing Vegeta. It doesn't work like that. Because of Teddy's failure, Johnny yells at Teddy for doing a terrible job. After Johnny sends Teddy to go get Cena, Eve arrives and wants to get closer to Johnny. Since robots can't learn how to love, he doesn't notice the full-court press (HEY OH!!!!) that Eve is putting on Johnny. Laurinaitis claims he will call Eve later. Oh, and did you see Johnny's eyes popping out of his head? I thought it was freakin' hilarious. It's amazing how one uncharismatic guy can make you laugh. He really does have the touch.

Match #1: Santino and Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
Hello, Mr. Biff Tannen. How are you doing today? Santino was mostly getting his ass kicked while Brodus was the power house who would deal with both Dolph and Swagger. I can see some people not being happy since it makes the US Champion look weak, but Santino has looked a little lucky during his US Championship reign. Besides, they need to try other things with Brodus. The match was fine, but nothing special. The finish comes when Brodus hits Funk It on Dolph. I wasn't big on Dolph having to take the pinfall here. Personally, I would've had Swagger take the pinfall since he normally is the one who loses. It's also appropriate since Biff Tannen eventually loses at the end of the day. After the match, the winning team starts to dance.

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay and Santino

Backstage with Johnny and Miz. The Miz is talking about post WrestleMania plans for himself, but Johnny is a little pre-occupied with the Brock/Cena deal. Once Miz leaves, Teddy arrives with Cena. Johnny is not happy with Cena's actions, but Cena says that he doesn't mind the Brock signing. Cena says Brock is a guy who likes to beat people up. Well, Cena claims he's always up for a fight. In fact, Cena is so ready for competition that he wants a match tonight. Once Cena leaves, Johnny tells Teddy to tell Otunga to get ready for a match against Cena tonight, but not before yelling at him some more. There seems to be a virus inside Roboinaitis, don't you think? There is a couple of backstage scenes of Santino searching for the Three Stooges. The Three Stooges are the guest host for tonight's Raw. Well, I guess it's that time for some of the internet wrestling fans to take pro wrestling too seriously once again since they don't like the guest host concept. Santino runs into Kane, but Kane is not interested in what Santino has to say. Does everywhere Kane go automatically turn red? Hey, that would be a pretty cool ability to have, so I demand to have a blue lighting.......I'm waiting.......well, I guess I need to figure that out. I know this particular spot happened after the next match, but I want to get it out of the way now. After a while, Santino finds a "fragile" crate. He thinks it's a package from Italy. You gotta love the mistranslation. And by "love", I mean you got to hit yourself with a mallet while jamming a stapler to your skull. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Anyway, Santino opens up the crate with a crowbar and out come the stooges in tons of styrofoam. Hey, you don't know the power of styrofoam!!! Anyway, the Three Stooges and Santino proceed to make lots of slapstick jokes. Hey, this is the type of thing you knew was coming when you heard the Three Stooges were in town, so don't act surprised. Once Santino leaves, the stooges start to think about what they should do out in the ring, but not before they think OUTSIDE the box. That was clever.

Match #2: R-Truth vs Cody Rhodes
This was a very short match. Big Show interrupted and once again did the embarrassing Cody clip. Cody turns around and runs into the Facebuster of Truth. It also goes by the name Little Jimmy. Doing this bit two times was one thing, but doing it for a third time is really showing they aren't sure what else to do between Cody and Show. I don't see this rivalry continuing after ER.

Winner via pinfall: R-Truth and Little Jimmy

Match #3: Lord Tensai vs Yoshi Tatsu
According to Michael Cole, Yoshi was offended by Tensai because he thought that he was mocking the Japanese culture. It was also mentioned that Tensai went to Japan and dominated the competition there. So, we have Shredder's obese cousin vs a green dinosaur. Yeah, I'm sure nothing can go wrong here.......oohhhhh, that's not good. If you listen, you can hear some "Albert" chants in the audience. Well, this match went the same way as last week's Tensai match. Tensai beat the crap out of his opponent so much that the ref had to stop the match. After the bell rung, Tensai did the spit to his head and continued to embarrass Yoshi. Dude, you already massacred the dinosaur, and now you're spitting at him? Don't you think you have done enough?

Winner via ref decision: Lord Tensai

Match #4: CM Punk vs Mark Henry; WWE Championship
Before the match, Punk cut a promo. He talks about his straight edge lifestyle and how it's a personal choice and a way of life. Punk talks about how Chris Jericho has gone too far ever since he mentioned his family, but he really crossed the line by smashing the bottle in his head. He remembers that alcohol smell and it reminded him of his father. Punk gets a little choked up, but it's time for Emperor Dickhead to crash the party. Jericho mocks Punk by saying Punk is a drunk. Punk says that Jericho has sent him to a dark place. Um....the shadow realm? Anyway, since Punk is in a dark place, he will use it to his advantage to kick Jericho's ass. I'm still enjoying the Punk/Jericho rivalry. You really get the sense that they don't like each other and this thing is about ready to explode. I do like that Punk and Jericho got a little more attention this week. By the way, I like how Punk says he will kick Jericho's ass,  but only to be interrupted by Henry's entrance theme. IRONY!!!

The match begins.....and, it's already over. That didn't take long. Punk went to the outside and hit Henry with one of the television monitors. After the match, Punk is about to do First Degree Monitor until Jericho arrives with some beer. While Punk is paying attention to Jericho, Henry is back up and attacks. Henry ends up hitting two World's Strongest Slams on Punk. Even after two finishers, Punk still gets up and tries to fight Jericho, but Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Punk. Jericho proceeds to pour beer all over Punk. Kinda reminds me of how Stone Cold Steve Austin did the beer bath to Vince McMahon all those years ago, but this was more depressing than funny. After the beer bath, Jericho holds the WWE title in his hands. I can't wait until the Punk/Jericho rematch. Since we are on the subject, it was announced that it will be Punk vs Henry for the WWE title next week, but in a No DQ match. Expect for Punk to retain.....Unless they have something else up their sleeve.

Winner via DQ: Mark Henry

Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs Zack Ryder
This was a very short match. Del Rio wins with the Cross Arm breaker. Cole said that Del Rio is a Smackdown talent. I like how there was no mention of this at any point, but you really shouldn't be surprised. The explanation can be Del Rio was traded to SD for a sack of potatoes. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio

It's time for the Three Stooges to do the comedy segment of the night. I kinda feel bad for the stooges. The audience had no interest in this segment. In fact, the audience was definitely a step back from the Miami audience of last week. It's always a challenge to do the type of thing Miami did, but it was pretty noticeable that two different audiences were watching the shows. The audience can make a show come alive, but they can also make a show feel bad. Anyway, Curly comes out dressed like Hulk Hogan and mocks him. Damn, the audience didn't even jump when they heard the Hogan music. So, he actually started talking like Hogan and the audience was still s****ing on it. I thought it was pretty funny. At the same time, if you want to see Hogan embarrass himself, just watch TNA. Cue the TNA fanboy comments in 3.......2.......1........and.....GO!!! Anyway, Kane arrives and Chokeslams Curly while Larry and Moe run away. At least Curly sold it better than Hogan, am I right? People are going to hate me after tonight.

Brock gives an interview backstage. He talks about how he's proud to be back with the WWE and how he deserves the top spot of the company. Brock also talked about how Cena can't hold his jockstrap. I don't think I would want to hold Brock's jockstrap either. Hey, I'm just.....saiyan......heheheheWAAAAAA. Oh, and before I forget, Smackdown will be live tomorrow night. Apparently, they are going with a old school theme for the show. That sounds fun. I like fun. THIS IS FUN!!! I'M HAVING FUN!!!

Match #6: John Cena vs David Otunga
To my surprise, Otunga actually looked somewhat credible here. I thought Cena would kill Otunga in a matter of minutes, but Otunga actually got to show some moves before Super Cena came into town. Cena wins the match with the STF. After the match, Brock comes from behind and kicks Cena in the balls. Brock is not only an ass-kicker, but he's a ball buster as well. Brock ends the show by hitting the F5 on Cena. I don't think there was anyway to follow up what Brock and Cena did at the beginning of the show. Which is why it felt like a repeat of how the show ended last week. Regardless, the bigger picture is the Brock/Cena match at ER. This is a match I am actually looking forward to. I think it will be interesting and exciting to say the least.

Winner via submission: John Cena

Overall Impression:
For the most part, I really enjoyed Raw tonight. Despite the audience being the buzzkill for tonight, it was still a fun show to watch. The opening was exciting and edgy. I also enjoyed the bits involving Punk and Jericho. I even managed to laugh at the stupid moments like the Three Stooges. I do agree that the action segments were lacking. There wasn't a wrestling match that really stood out and most of the action just seemed to be there, but there was other elements of action that worked. I really liked the brawl between Brock and Cena and I think the stuff involving Punk, Jericho, and Henry weren't too bad either. Some of the other segments were very hit and miss for other people, but I still liked tonight's show. Then again, it was mostly because of the two major Raw storylines. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.