WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 11/4/13 Review (My upload schedule sucks!)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 11/4/13. How does Raw turn out this week? Let's find out and begin. 

Follow the Indy Boys

We open up the show with CM Punk vs Luke Harper. This was actually a pretty good match. It's no Picasso, but it was entertaining for what it was worth. The finish comes when Punk gets a rollup victory on Harper. After the match, the Wyatt family attack CM Punk because the devil made me do it. Yes, the devil made me attack Wolverine, bitches!!! Daniel Bryan gets the memo and decides to help Punk by hitting Harper with the most unconvincing chair shot ever. Seriously, it's like he stuck out the chair and said, 'Okay, just run right into it…please?' Luckily, Punk shows him how to do a real chair shot and the indy duo take down the Wyatt family. It definitely seems Punk and Bryan will be teaming up for a while to deal with the Wyatt family. As I mentioned last week, I theorize that Bryan will be the Royal Rumble winner and in order for that to happen, he needs to take a break from the championship scene and deal with something else in the meantime. Seeing him team up with Punk isn't a bad idea at all. Looking forward to seeing this play out in the next few weeks/months. Speaking of which, Paul Heyman did speak via telephone and talks about all the injuries and mental scars he suffered at the hands of Punk. The conservation ended abruptly as Heyman started to cry. Looks like somebody ran out of cell phone minutes.

Can't think of a funny enough title for this one

I found a fast forward button and now we're seeing Randy/Big E? What happened during that time? Whatever happened, it was probably nothing worth mentioning. Hmmm… Hey, Big E Langston gots the claps. He's got the claps, man! In a competitive match, Randy Orton defeats Big E Langston with the RKO. I was actually surprised this match didn't end in a countout/DQ, but it was probably for the best. Meanwhile, WWE can't seem to get enough Rock/Cena talk and have to show it off in the latest WWE video game. Great, you can watch the same, bland match again, but now on a crappy video game…

Oh, and you gotta love how WWE is talking about how 'amazing' WWE2K14 is and are sponsored by Call of Duty. If WWE can throw in the Madden game before the end of the night, then we can have the trifecta of terrible games. New achievement unlocked! I probably pissed off the remaining readers on this page with that last statement… Oh well. 

By the way, it should be noted that Triple H has banned Big Show for life. I guess that means despite being fired, he was still able to get in the building. So, he's really band from the building? *Sob* That means he'll have to dig underneath the ground and come from under the ring in order to invade the show *sob*. Just imagine how long it will take for him to accomplish that? JUST IMAGINE HOW LONG!!! *SOB*… I don't think I can continue with this unsettling news. I'm gonna need a moment… Possible two…

Due to Total Divas establishing the relationship of Tyson Kidd and Natalya, you simply have to ignore the past couple of months when Natalya was hanging around Khali. Perhaps she was Khali's professional chef or something? Now that we got the wrestling logic out of the way, there's a mixed tag match between the Canadian Couple and the Dancing Dum-Dums. Maybe it was just me but did anybody else think Tyson looks like AJ Styles…

WWE reader: What's an AJ Styles? 

TNA reader: You can't let me have this one, can't you? 

WWE reader: What's a TNA?

TNA reader:… Sigh…

Moving forward

John Cena teamed up with the Golden Rhodes to take on Damien Sandow and the Almost Real Americans. It took a while for this match to get going, but it was very compelling towards the middle and end. If anything, the entire segment is enjoyable because of the competitive banter between Del Rio and Colter during the match. It was fun seeing them go back and forth and bringing mention to their rivalry earlier in the year. This match even contained the funniest moment of the night when Cena tossed Cesaro into Zeb. I don't know why, but there was something about it that was freakin' hilarious. Cena and crew pick up the victory. I should note that Sandow has moved on from losing the MITB and it seems WWE is shrugging it off as not being a big deal. If it means the further exposure like I mentioned last week, I don't mind him losing the MITB briefcase since he currently isn't ready for a world title. He's got the potential, but can use more development until claiming the brass ring… or maybe silver ring? … Eh, who cares?

Corporate Kane

We're gonna go ahead and skip past the diva match, the mid-card match and the 3MB raping since there's nothing worth mentioning during all of this. I think the only thing worth bringing up is El Torito being horny…

The final segment of the night is Big Show and Triple H working out the lawsuit and being able to settle on something since the Board of Directors feel this whole thing is ridiculous. I guess we learned that 'lifetime ban' means being banned for two hours. Damn, that was a tough two hours! Yeah, Show didn't have to dig underneath the ground to enter the building…

I'm convinced the WWE's security staff is literally a broomstick with a smily face on it. How else does s*** like this keep happening? Actually, it turns out the B.O.D. want Trips to settle this lawsuit since they don't want to risk a lawsuit at this time. Trips and Steph don't seem happy about it, but suck up whatever dignity they have left and give Show his two stipulations to drop the lawsuit. Get this, the lawsuit is dropped by giving Show his job back and a WWE title match…That's seriously it! You think he would had Trips beg or something or get his house paid off, but something so mundane is what seals the deal? I know wrestling logic is looming with things like this, but it would help if you thought about this for more than five-minutes, creative staff! Anyway, Shield is just standing there while wondering why they're there. Somebody messed up that order! Once the deal has been done, Trips sends the Shield and Randy to attack Show. That's when the corporation uses its secret weapon, Kane! OMG, I can't want to see what evil Kane is gonna--wait, what? Tha---That's Kane? That's not Kane, tha… that's just a guy in a suit. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting that. Can we even call him Kane anymore? Might as well call him Glenn Jacobs at this point. It does seem a bit odd to see Kane in a business suit but it isn't that glaring since we've seen Kane without his mask for years. This moment would've been more jaw-dropping if this was the first time we seen Kane without his mask, but that isn't the case. Still, you neutered a monster at the end of the day to turn him into a regular guy? That would be like taking Abyss and naming him Joseph Pa---Oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh…

In all seriousness, I will give corporate Kane a chance. The program ends with Show being taken out by the corporate puppets. I'm not gonna lie, the ending is very hit and miss. Some of it was okay, but I just know more could've been done if the writers put more effort into it. Instead, this was about as basic as a sugar cookie. Outside of corporate Kane, this was a very predictable scene and that's where the disappointment comes from. 

Overall Impression:

Just like I said towards the end of this review, this show was very hit and miss. This definitely wasn't as fun as last week's episode. The show didn't end on the strongest note, but the beginning and middle portion of the show was not bad. It started strong with the Punk/DB stuff and the six-man tag match was very entertaining, but did slow down a bit with the ending. To be fair, the ending wasn't terrible but it could've been so much more. Don't know why this particular episode is getting a lot of hate since this was an average show at the end of the day and I've definitely seen the WWE put on worse. I think it's because a lot of people aren't really interested in Randy/Show. I'll admit that it doesn't spark my interest, but this is a filler feud and nothing more. It's just something to tide you over until we get closer to the Royal Rumble. It's not something that appeals to me, but maybe it can do something to draw me in. Well, all I can do is sit back and see what happens. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't enjoy it… Ummmm… See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 10/28/13 Review (Security? Dafaq is that?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 10/28/13. Hey, you're late with this review. I swear I didn't do that… I swear… I… Okay, I don't have anything, just start the damn review already!

You IWC rage moment of the night

We open up the show with the return of that s***-eating grin. Only John Cena can pull off that look. So, they make doctors so Cena can compete? I thought doctors helped everybody, but we learn something new each day. The doctor at your local clinic is, 'F*** you, you aren't John Cena! Back of the line, bitch!!!' After some more pandering from Mr. Breakfast Cereal, Damien Sandow comes out and cashes in the MITB after beating the crap out of Cena's elbow. He used the briefcase, the barricade, the ring, a chair. A freakin' chair and despite all of that, Cena shrugs it off because… He's John Cena. You know, the same guy who gets the crapped kicked out of him and somehow miraculously recovers and becomes more overpowered than Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone in an action movie COMBINED! Yeah, that's exactly what happens. Cena defeats Sandow and the 'smartest' person in the WWE now comes off as the biggest idiot of all time. Intellectual savior, my ass!!! I get it, WWE,  you want us to view Cena as a freakin' God to the masses! I'm just waiting for the day he puts on a cape and starts flying around the ring. It's coming eventually! Okay, let's get back to reality for a bit and talk about this. I know the outcome for this match has been getting a lot of negative attention from the Cena haters/Sandow supporters but I do want to say something… Sandow DID look great in this match and it does feel like THIS could be the defining point of Damien's career. His character has always been entertaining in my eyes, but he had more energy and drive in him on Monday. This could definitely be used to build up Damien and may I remind people that it was less than two years ago when people thought WWE was 'burying' (Seriously, LEARN this word, folks) Daniel Bryan by having him lose in 18-seconds. Yeah, remember that? I still think there's hope for Damien and it could be THIS moment that makes the man's career and becomes something special, but he has to prove it at the end of the day. If he can keep doing what he did on Monday, the future does look bright for Damien. Only time will tell where Damien's career ends up. I mentioned it in the HIAC review and I'll bring it up again, you gotta give these things time and have patience. I know this is coming off as me defending Cena and I've said it many times that while I respect Cena, I'm not a big fan of him because of the predictability of his booking and how he's literally played the same character since winning his first WWE Championship. I'm not trying to defend Cena because that man gets more than enough silver spoons in this industry. I'm just trying to look at the positives and try to look at the bigger picture. Then again, that's just how I like to view things. Okay, WrestlingNerd, get off the soapbox already and move forward with this s***!!!

The devil made me do it

Shield things… something… meh? Anyway, Shawn Michaels comes out and explains himself. He pretty much tells Daniel Bryan sorry for last night because while he wasn't proud of himself, he did it because Triple H wanted it and he will go to the end of the Earth to help out his best friend. He tells him that in this business, you cannot trust anybody and while he's still a DB supporter and continues to defend him, he wants him to shake his hand and accept this 'last lesson'. It's actually a great approach since it keeps Shawn neutral, yet intriguing. Yes, he looks like a douche for helping the bad guys, but gives Bryan helpful advice and still thinks he's has the potential to be an 'A+', but he must rely on only himself to get his goals. Bryan does shake his hand, but wants some revenge for the Sweet Chin Miss and slaps the Yes Lock on HBK. After the refs separate them, Bryan is about to have an interview until the Wyatt family comes out of nowhere and attacks DB. It seems for the time being, they've taken Bryan out. Well, this certainly got interesting. After weeks/months of the Wyatt family doing nothing, they went after some big fish and it really caught my attention. At the moment, it doesn't seem like the Wyatt family is working for the corporation and I honestly hope they're not. The Wyatt family works better by doing their own thing as opposed to taking orders from somebody. Why did they attack him? Because they're freakin' evil and deranged and that's honestly all you need. 

Oh where-o-where has my monster gone? 

It's everybody's favorite tag team match to watch…Los Matadores vs 3MB… Oh… oh… OH… OHHHHHHHH… Yeah, I don't care. The diva match was just there. Who competed in this match? Was it a Bella and Bigger Breasted Bella? That sounds about right. After Kane destroys his 'BFF' (According to the commentary from last night. You silly commentators and you ridiculous claims. You're so silly!), Kane calls out Stephanie and tells her she's on a power trip and it IS best for business. She's free to do whatever she wishes out from the monster, so he gives her his mask and walks away. It's definitely an interesting move on Kane's behalf. In many ways, he pretty much said Steph is allowed to use him in any way she feels like it. It will be interesting to find out what they decide to do moving forward. I kinda hope Kane keeps the mask. I won't be heart-broken if Kane goes mask-less again, but I like the mask. Wow, it does seem coincidental that Kane may have given up his mask close to Halloween. No Trick or Treat for you! Hey, I just thought of something. Stephanie's future quote, 'KANE… Choke him out!!!'

The devil made me do it… Again… He's very demanding

After the CM Punk/Ryback match (Which honestly didn't need to happen), the Wyatt family set their sights on Punk. Cult of Personality tries to fight them off, but it was too much to overcome. The segment ends when Bray finishes off Punk with Sister Abigail. Bray does say the same thing (The devil made me do it) when taking out DB earlier in the night, so that was certainly something. Geeze, we go from weeks of the Wyatt family doing nothing to them doing a lot of things this evening. Needless to say, it was about time they did something. Not sure where this is all headed but it certainly has my interest. If anything, I think it gets DB and Punk away from the WWE title picture for a bit. After all, if Bryan is the favorite to win the Royal Rumble and finally get his moment at WrestleMania, he should take a break from the world title matches. Regardless of such, it will be interesting to find out where this is all headed. 

Es mi destine para perder (It's my destiny to lose)

In a fun match, Almost Real Americans defeated Golden Rhodes (Copyrighting that s***) via submission. I don't mind the champs losing here since it sets up a future title match between the two teams. One of the things you do to make the tag division more interesting is by building story and developing the personas of the tag teams, which they have done with both of these teams. I look forward to what they can do with this future rivalry. Meanwhile, Alberto Del Rio talks about his rematch. This is hilarious since Del Rio won't mean anything in a few weeks after Cena has raped him some more. By the way, I know that graphics aren't everything in a video game (Hell, I enjoy playing 8 and 16-bit games just as much as current games), but the WWE2K14 graphics look really bad. In fact, the last few WWE games have looked lazily done in this department. Then again, sports games in general don't really do it for me. I'm more of a platformer/adventurer type of gamer. It's literally the same thing from last year but with THREE NEW CHARACTERS!!!

After all, it was either pay game developers more or give Cena another car and cuts have to be made at the end of the day… Life's a bitch! 

Big Lawsuit

The final segment of the night is Randy Orton's WWE title celebration. Oh great, it isn't like they did this two months ago or whatever. After Randy strokes his own cock, Big Show arrives to crash the party. WWE has the worse security ever. How does he keep showing up and appearing on the titantron? Show knocks out Randy and the program ends with WWE teasing Trips/Show. I guess I should mention Show has filed a 'lawsuit' against the WWE and will take whatever he can get since he has nothing to lose. He may have lost everything, but he still found a way to make a new T-shirt design. Maybe somebody was just generous? Anyway, it did seem Show/Trips was on the way after everything that's happened. The ending to the show wasn't too shabby. It wasn't great, but not bad. 

Overall Impression:

I really enjoyed tonight's episode of Raw. In fact, I think I enjoyed this more than Hell in a Cell, which was a slightly above average show at best. While most people won't say that after witnessing the first match, I try to find the bright side in things like this and don't want to assume things until the storyline stretches out. Some new things happened like the Wyatt family targeting DB and Punk and while we don't know why the attack was done, the curiosity alone makes it worth witnessing. Also, Kane's a giant question mark at the moment and I kinda like it. I think this episode is worth checking out. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. See you guys and girls in the next one and Happy Halloween.

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Hell in a Cell 2013. Was this a PPV good, a bust, or somewhere in the middle? Let's find out and begin. 

Opening up strong

We open the show with a fantastic match for the WWE Tag Titles. This might be a ballsy statement, but this was the match of the night in my book. I know most people will take the main event as the best, but this tag match turned a match I had slight interest in and managed to keep me glued to my seat the entire time. Big ups to Usos, Shield, and Golden Rhodes…

Hey, screw you!!! I thought that was a creative name. I can't win anything around here. Anyway, definitely a must watch if you ask me. Cody and Goldie manage to keep their championships this evening by defeating the competition. 

Return of the Fruit Roll-up

After Miz called out the Wyatt family and got attacked by them (Great idea, genius), Kane makes his return and wants to pick a fight with the Wyatts, but he also Chokeslams Miz in the process. It's hard to base a whole lot on Kane's motives at the moment since… well, it's Kane. You know, the guy who beat the s*** out of Pete Rose and got a round of applause. The man can beat up anybody and still gets cheers. It did seem the commentators were trying to play up the fact that Kane committed a crime by attacking Miz, so I guess we have to take that into account… whatever that means. Besides, it isn't like Kane and Miz go way back. Yeah, because when I think of drinking buddies, I think Kane and Miz. Okay, I'll see you after the show…

Midcard awkwardness 

It's more like Fanforgetful…

Due to Curtis Axel being scrapped due to injury, Big E went up against Dean Ambrose for the US Championship. Based on the fact this match was put together at the last moment, you can tell it looked like it. Both guys couldn't really get any chemistry in this match and it just felt very awkward to watch. While I should blame the creative department for putting this match together, I can't really complain because this was the staff trying to make the best out of a bad situation. It blew up in their face, but nobody will remember this match come tomorrow so there's no reason to harp on it. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if the plan was for Big E to become the new Belt-Shiner champion since Curtis is getting tired of shining the belt. If my theory is correct, Big E should eventually defeat Curtis between now and Survivor Series to become a professional belt-shiner. Ah, the next step up the ladder. Oh yeah, Big E won via countout in case you wanted to know. 

CM Punk's redemption

You know, part of me wonders what the hell is going through Paul Heyman's head when he decided to put himself on top of the cell structure. I know the man's scared of CM Punk, but wouldn't it be a worse idea to stand above the ring? What if WWE got the cheap crap and the cell would crumble if you threw a stapler at it? Was it on his bucket list to do a crappy reenactment of King Kong climbing the Empire State Building? Yeah, my mind went lost years ago. In fact, it was exactly like King Kong minus the woman… and the ape… and the building… and the climbing. Okay, it was NOTHING like King Kong! Why was he up there!!! I want an answer, dammit!!! After CM Punk hands Ryback the remains of his career (which wasn't a great match, but much better than the Battleground contest), Punk climbs the cell and proceeds to whip Paul's ass. You know, Paul, nothings' really stopping you from running away. What a bitch of a time to come down with a fear of heights. You know, that Zeb Colter whip would probably come in handy at the moment. Punk finally gets his months of scars and embarrassments by hitting Heyman with a GTS. I know that WWE was trying to go for that iconic moment on top of the cell structure, but you have to do something that leads to a reason to have people on top of that structure. Outside of the lazy writing for this spot, the moment itself wasn't too shabby and it should finally close the book on the Punk/Heyman storyline. This storyline needed to end tonight since its gone on long enough and both people can use a new program. 

Zeb gets violated

It's that time of the night where you get the impromptu match you've seen on Raw and/or Smackdown. Los Matadores take on the Almost Real Americans because…Umm, Zeb stole El Torito's slice of cheesecake? That's a storyline we can get down with! Let's start this party!!! I do like how they brought mention to Torito attacking Zeb. Thank you, El Torito, for goring a big pile of republicanism and hot dogs. Only the WWE can give you things like this. Of course, what's an Almost Real Americans match without the Cesaro swing…

Cena's back and it's like he never left…

John Cena made is return and defeated Alberto Del Rio for the WHC. Geeze, WWE is really going with the fact the internet has labeled Cena, 'Super Cena' based on the fact they keep throwing that around these days. I'm just waiting for the next Cena shirt to literally have the Superman logo mixed in with Cena's mumbo jumbo. I know this is off-topic, but does anybody think Cena looks like a Teletubby on steroids? Yeah, this was something I was thinking the other day… Yeah, I'm a very strange person. I know this is supposed to be a feel-good moment for Cena, but I can't help but think it's the same formula we've seen for almost the last decade. Even the commentators were trying to make this victory and comeback a big deal. Hell, JBL even had to admit he said something wrong and clap for Cena's comeback. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as negative, but it's hard for me to buy into the 'Cena's comeback' deal when he was only gone for two months AND this booking style has been done before. This isn't the first time Cena has come back from an injury and sooner rather than later, he always gets back in the spotlight and becomes champ. Yeah, he's the face of the company and is gonna be booked to look like a beast (Trust me, I get it), but part of me also feels a bit underwhelmed by this. Hell, I think it would've told a better story if Cena had lost (and I'm aware that it wasn't gonna happen) and struggled with the arm injury. It would've made him question himself and if anything, maybe bring something new out of Cena. It also would've added some credibility for Del Rio since his championship reign has been very lackluster, but that isn't what they wanted. They wanted to slap that championship on Cena as if the man never left and that's it. Part of the reason Cena gets so much hate is because of how predictable his booking is. This was a chance to do something a little different and for the time being, it's sticking with the same Cena formula we've seen for many years and I can't help but be disappointed by this. 

Bros over goats

Oh hey, it's everybody's favorite… diva match… yeah…meh… don't care…MOVING ON!!! Hey look, the Prime Time Players and Bob Backlund created an Oreo. There's money in this idea. PTP Oreos, now available at supermarkets! Okay, let's get into the final match of the night. The Orton/Bryan match was good, but it felt very similar to their previous encounters. Perhaps I'm growing tired of the Bryan/Orton matches since they aren't bad, but perhaps it's because I'm at the stage where I just want to fast-forward to the screwy finish. Come on, you know it's coming since the corporation is still new to the point where they're gonna pull out all the cards in order to get what they want, so I just want to see them get to the screwjob half the time. Triple H did come out in the middle of the match and kept pestering HBK to 'do the right thing'. After a ref bump, an unlocked cage and a knee to Trips' skull, the finish finally comes when HBK decides to avenge his fallen friend and kick his former student in the face. By the way, that Sweet Chin Music looked really bad. It didn't even look like he hit Bryan. Somebody messed up that delivery! Anyway, Randy picks the bones and Randy is your new WWE Champion… again. Based on Shawn's emotions, it didn't really seem like a heel turn and more like 'I'll be my best friend's bitch and do what he wants' sort of move. Keep in mind that at the time of this review, I haven't watched or read up on Raw so for the time being, I don't consider this a heel turn. It definitely has the elements for HBK to turn heel, but we have to wait until Shawn explains himself to really determine why he did this. As far as Randy winning the title, it was expected. Bryan probably won't win the title until WrestleMania time. In fact, Daniel Bryan is the early favorite to win the Royal Rumble, but I imagine many people are starting to think this as this time. I know people are raging over tonight's finish but as always in the pro wrestling world, you have to be patient and give these things time to flesh out. The payoff hasn't happened yet and in good time, it will eventually come. You can't jump to conclusions since storylines aren't gonna get their payoffs immediately. 

Overall Impression:

This PPV was very hit and miss in my book. It had elements where it was entertaining and enjoyable, but there were also moments where it just seem to run on auto-pilot. Even though this PPV had more story behind it than the last two PPVs, I don't think you're missing a whole lot if you missed out on this show. While the HBK turn can be a big enough of a surprise for some of you, something about it was always at the back of my mind and in a way, I saw it coming. While the PPV was a step in the right direction, part of me felt it was a bit disappointing. In fact, that's the best way to describe this PPV. While it did entertain me and this was much more enjoyable than Night of Champions and Battleground, I was still a bit disappointed with this showing. I felt like more could've been done with this PPV to really make it stand out. It's possible WWE held back a bit since they might have something game-changing at Survivor Series and want to save the bigger stuff for one of the big four, but I also wouldn't be surprised if this was their 'game-changing swerve'. If I had to give WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give it a 6 out of 10…

I think that's a fair score since I would say this was an above average PPV and nothing more than that. If you skipped out on this PPV, you didn't really miss out on much but there is enough here to keep you entertained. The PPV is at least worth viewing once, but maybe only once. I did enjoy this PPV for what it was worth, but I was still wanting more at the end of the day. Yeah, I'm a selfish WrestlingNerd. Anyway, that's gonna do it for this review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight's show and my stupid thoughts. I'll see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official score for WWE Hell in a Cell 2013: 6 out of 10

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 10/21/13 Review (Who signs contracts at contract signings?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 10/21/13. How was Raw this week? Let's find out and begin.

Big Hacker

We open up the show with Triple H and Stephanie. They talk about Chinese food or something until Big Show interrupts the party via satellite. Nice to see the Rock's handiwork is being utilized by the other talents. How in the world did Show hack into the program? Does he have a top secret crew of people willing to work for a pocket full of quarters? Even MacGyver would be scratching his head right now. After telling the 'best for business' couple to f*** off until he gets cut off. We also get some more disrespect from Daniel Bryan by parading around the ring. I know the corporation wants to blame Bryan and Show, but the real people to blame is the production crew. Makes you wonder what their punishment will be…

In a decent opening match, Goat Man defeated Dean Ambrose. Remember when the US Championship had a storyline? Then again, I probably shouldn't be so harsh since all they had to worry about back then was Y2K and Donald Trump's hair! Anyway, Shawn Michaels had a segment with the power couple and mentions how they've changed for all the wrong reasons and have forgotten to have fun. Maybe building a water slide would solve all of this? Hey, I bet you weren't expecting that one this evening! 

Who pushed that fast forward button? 

Hey, it's Memphis everybody! Let's go out there and do some Elvis/music thing that makes no sense to entertain you. More like a jailhouse pen if you ask me…

We're gonna skip ahead a bit since there's no reason to bring up stuff like the CM Punk promo or the Orton/Dolph match since there's not much to say. We can also skip the diva match since it's dancing chesticales in a ring. Besides, why talk about that stuff when we can talk about the Paul Heyman promo. Jesus Christ, what the hell is Paul Heyman on? I think this is the result of getting a giant bag of cocaine and throwing it over a person. Still, that was the funniest thing I've seen all night. You can live you life on those words…Liquid magma, bitch!!! In fact, it looks like somebody in the back had a second bag to throw on R-Truth for that WWEShop promotion. He probably passed out after he was done with that ramble. Well, at least he found a way to get work. After all, that guy with the internet show isn't really having much luck. 

Big Face Langston

On last week's edition of Smackdown. Big E Langston made a face turn by helping out CM Punk and fight off Rybully and Curtis Something. It was a bit of a surprise to say the least, but also a surprise I welcome. There's something about Big E that really stands out. I don't look at Big E as just another musclebound light-pole because Big E actually shows some personality/charisma that makes him enjoyable. I hope to see good things from this face turn. After Vickie Guerrero pulls off a Teddy Long and creates a tag team match…

Punk and Big E defeat Paul Heyman Guys. The match does more build for Punk/Heyman and it also gave Big E an IC title match against Curtis at the HIAC pre-show. I won't say much about the Almost Real Americans/Tons of Saturated Fat contest, but I do have to mention the aftermath. Did Zeb Colter just pull out a whip? Talking about the immigration deal is one thing, but a whip seems to be pushing the boundaries a bit. Notice how the commentators were trying to say how it's a 'bull whip', but a whip is a whip at the end of the day. It seems a Real Americans/Los Matadores feud came about within the last week. It's a bit odd since both tag teams seem to be gaining some positive feedback, but they also could be the extra spark the tag division needs to make it what it was a year ago. 

JBL's stand-up

 'Eh, it's only Josh Matthews.'

Yeah, he's absolutely right. We can get another one those in the unemployment line; no harm done! That was my favorite JBL line of the night. If you're curious, the runner up was, 'I just got a 'oh snap' by Goldust?'. Due to all the craziness that is my life, I was unable to review Raw last week. One of the big things that happened on last week's show was Cody Rhodes and Goldust defeating the Shield to become the new WWE Tag Champs. I don't mind the title change before the PPV since it would've been redundant to have the same tag team match for two straight PPVs. I like Cody and Goldie getting the tag titles, but if this is anything like what happens with these type of championships, they won't do much with the titles after their feud with the Shield ends. Then again, with Real Americans and Los Matadores getting some attention, this tag title could be as meaningful as Team Hell No's title reign. To be fair, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns tag title reign was okay at the end of the day and I wouldn't say it was TOO under the radar. Due to Cody and Goldie getting involved with all the Shield antics, the #1 Contender match between Shield and Usos ended in a no contest. Due to this, it will be a Triple Threat match for the tag titles. I have no issues with that match since I think it could be a lot of fun. Nice touch!

Contract Arguing (Did they even sign anything?)

The final segment of the night was a contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. The thing I like about this is seeing DB, Randy and Trips talk to one another and HBK just standing there smiling. He's just there for the food. Can we give Shawn a hammock or something? Never mind, it appears Shawn has something to say after Trips claims DB isn't even good enough to fight him because he only fights 'stars'. This segment started to get really interesting when Shawn and Trips started to exchange some words. Randy and DB are ready to fight until… A semi truck shows up out of nowhere? I think the TNA wrestlers made a wrong turn at Albuquerque…

Actually, it turns out to be Big Show's semi. How did he afford that? I'm just gonna assume he stole it. Okay, who let that door open? I'm telling you, Show must have a secret organization that's pulling all these strings for him. How is he doing this? The show ends with Show and DB doing a 'Yes' chant. This was definitely one of the better segments for this evening. Gotta give them credit for that.

Overall Impression:

Tonight's show wasn't too bad. It wasn't perfect since there was a few moments that really didn't do much for me, but when the show did something worthwhile, it was pretty good. The last half of the show was definitely the most interesting to witness since it built up the bigger matches for HIAC. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the build for HIAC has been better than the build for Battleground and tonight's show has me invested in Sunday's PPV. This PPV has all the ingredients to do better than the last two WWE PPVs, but we won't know that until the show's over. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my ramblings and tonight's show. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Bound for Glory 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Bound for Glory 2013. After fighting a two-month war in the outskirts of mcfacshiot, it's time to get back to some TNA wrestling. Let's begin.

Perhaps I should explain why I haven't done anything TNA related in two months. The main reason is mostly because I was getting bored with the product and I just couldn't continue reporting on something if my heart wasn't in it. I figured it was best to take a break from it and come back fresh. With that said, I'll probably question a lot of things that have happened weeks/months ago due to the fact I haven't watched OR read anything about what TNA has done in a last few weeks. I know some of the things going on tonight, but not the extreme details. Okay, let's being for reals this time. 

Ultimate Letdown 

The opening match was an Ultimate X match featuring Austin Aries, Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe (Dafaq?), Chris Sabin, and Manic. Seems like a mixed group of former main events, undercard, and cruiserweight/X Division talent. As always with BFG/WrestleMania-type events, you're gonna have talents get downgraded for the sake of the current storylines/card placement. Hey, it looks like Samoa Joe is competing in an X Division match again! Looks like those nostalgia chubbies are out in full swing this evening…

The finish to the match comes when Sabin uses Velvet Sky as a distraction by… waving her hands in the air…

With Hardy too distracted, Sabin uses this opportunity to climb a ladder and retrieve the X Division championship. That's right, we have a new X Division champion in Sabin while the energy drink, Manic, will look in the mirror and question why he still needs to wear a mask despite the fact he showed his face to the world months ago (He's very shy). I know a lot of people probably got an enjoyment out of this match but it really didn't do it for me due to one simple reason…the freakin' ladder. This is called an Ultimate X match, not an Ultimate Ladder X match. Putting the ladder in play almost defeats the purpose of the wires and posts. Seriously, they might as well be decoration for a Christmas tree. Christmas is comin' early!!! Waaaaaaaa!!! And to be frank, nothing about the match really stands out except for the moment when Sabin just became the king of douchebaggery by putting his girlfriend in danger, so no, I personally don't find this to be that good of a match. 

Modern Day Viking?

The modern day viking…Gunner…Viking? This guy couldn't beat Hagar the Horrible. You know you're stretching for nicknames when you create things like this. But I probably shouldn't be so harsh since this probably took up 5-minutes of their time to come up with. The Bromans become the new TNA Tag Champions for the sake of comedy. To be honest, I didn't mind the tag title change. James Storm and Gunner were already a team put together at the last moment. They shared no chemistry and their overall tag title reign was very forgettable. In fact, I completely forgot they were the tag champs. That's really saying something with a can full of Manic soda as champion leaves more of an impression than Drunken Garbage…or perhaps they should be called Drunken Vikings with the whole viking nickname. Actually, Drunken Vikings sounds like an awesome name for a tag team. WrestlingNerd is officially copyrighting that s***. I'll just slap that on there…

The team of AJ and T--Gail and Lei'D Tapa. Yeah, that's what I meant to say

Kurt Angle declines his 'invitation' to join the TNA Hall of Fame since he really wants a storyline. Might want to remember this for later… or not. The next match on the card is the Knockout title match between ODB, Gail Kim, and Brooke Tessmacher. Since I've been away, it seems Bull Ray traded in a Hogan for a stripper. The thing I'm noticing about Brooke is she's literally playing the same character as before. The only thing different about her is her wardrobe, and even saying THAT is a bit of a stretch. Again, that probably took up another 4-minutes off their time to come up with. Thinking is hard work, man! It's…it's seriously s***, man. Makes you wonder what the writers do with the rest of their time…

The only thing I remember from this match was the ref bump. It's funny how the KO match produces the best ref bump ever. Seriously, he took that drop kick like a champ. Give that guy a raise… or a cut from one of the writers. The finish comes when Lei'D Tapa (Remember her?… Neither do I) arrived to take out ODB and powerbomb Brooke. Gail picks the bones and becomes the new KO champ. After the match, it's teased that Tapa is putting Gail on notice, but quickly shows her allegiance to Gail. Utilizing Tapa as Gail's bodyguard is probably the best way to use her. I need to make one thing perfectly clear. Being this is the pro wrestling business, ideas are gonna get recycled all the time. In fact, about 95-99% of the storylines you see on the air have all been used in the past, but I find it funny how TNA put these two together when only a few weeks ago, WWE had AJ Lee make an alliance with Tamina Snuka. Again, ideas get recycled all the time but you can't help but draw parallels to the timing of all this. 

What?

Kurt and Bobby Roode deliver the best match of the night. It was very enjoyable and the first moment where I started to give a s*** about the PPV, but now it's time to address the odd moments of the match. Yeah, even this match managed to get a couple of those moments that really make you scratch your head and do a double face palm. The first one was the ref going out of the way to put Roode's hand on the rope. I'm not making that up, he literally picked up his hand and put it on the rope. Referee, you got some explaining to do! This could've been intentional for the sake of storytelling, but don't be surprised if he literally just f***ed up. The finish comes when Kurt knocks himself out and Roode is able to pick up the victory. Is it a written rule for people to knock themselves out when wrestling Roode? Anyway, it appears Kurt is hurt and the medics arrived to take him out of th--or not! Yeah, Kurt just gets out of all of that and walks away like nothing happened. I guess somebody whispered to Kurt about the crew having an open bar immediately after the show and he wanted to get his seat asap. What, did they run out of script and told everybody to play grab-ass for five minutes? What the hell happened here? This scene is even more awkward than the ref-up. It's like they couldn't decide to have Kurt walk out on his own power or be carried off, so what you get is both. I know I try to not let a couple of idiot moments ruin the quality of the match, but these two things put a major damper on this match. Seriously, I'm seeing more people talk about the awkward finishes than the match. You know you've done something wrong when that happens. 

Ethan Something the Blah and Magnus' true colors

Derrick Carter the douche debuted this evening in a squash match. The match was meh and the character was…

Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I'm not really impressed. Just like in WWE, the guy has the look and the charisma, but something still seems off about him. Like something about him isn't quite clicking. He's still young and there's potential, so that's a positive. 

I know this is gonna sound harsh, but why is Main Event Mafia around? Wasn't the goal of this group to get rid of Aces and Eights? Considering that AJ Styles is taking on Bully Ray while MEM is too busy fighting each other, it seems this group has lost track of their own goals. Seriously, reforming the MEM is about as good of an idea as a 'Full House' comeback. I think we've gotten all the jokes out of the way, so let's take this seriously for a moment and tell the story. The idea behind this match is Magnus wants to prove himself to be a big time player after having a setback in the BFG Series, so he challenges the 'Godfather', Sting, to a match to prove he's the real deal. It's a very basic idea that pro wrestling's done for years, but it isn't a bad idea. The match was…okay, at best. Not something I would watch again, but not bad considering the circumstances. Magnus gets the victory and appears to give Sting a handshake you would give to that guy at work you don't like. I'm actually okay with this ending since I've always felt Magnus plays a better heel than face. It might be a refreshing change of pace and finally do away with this MEM nonsense. It doesn't even feel like a stable anymore if you look at it. 

Wrapping it up

You know, it's really hard to look at Aces & Eights as a dominate force when they have about as many members as 3MB. Yeah, it seems this stable has done a bit of spring cleaning in my two months away from TNA. Not sure how Garrett Bischoff and Knux avoided the sweepers, but it doesn't really matter. Holy shot-to-the-abdomen-region! Ah, the long, lost battle cry of Robin. Only Tazz can give you 'riveting' commentary such as this. The match wasn't too bad for the most part. I know the main complaint about this match is all the interference, but you had to figure this was gonna happen since Dixie McMahon came into town. I know Dixie's putting a lot of effort into this heel character and is trying to play a Stephanie/Vince McMahon, but it isn't really working. Even when Dixie 'heels out', it feels like she's having to force herself to act mean, while it's more natural for Steph and Vince. While Steph comes off as a total bitch and no remorse for anybody's feelings but her own (which comes across very well on television), Dixie just comes off as a spoiled child who didn't get what she wanted and it just seems foolish. Maybe this is a bit too harsh since I haven't seen much from her character, but nothing about her persona really draws me in. Dixie is probably better utilized by remaining behind the scenes and tweeting because she offers nothing from a character standpoint. I even went out of the way to watch Dixie's heel turn on Styles and how he's a nobody and it was so bad that I had to stop watching. I stopped playing 'Banjo-Kazooie' to watch that? Geeze, this is starting to turn into the never-ending review. Sigh, let's just end this already! Despite all the interference for Bully, Styles is able to overcome the odds and becomes the new TNA world champion. This really doesn't come off as a surprise since it was a shoo-in for Styles to walk away with the world championship. The main payoff was for Styles to get the world title. Now that Styles is the champion, now what do you do next? Only time will tell…

Overall Impression:

The best way to describe this PPV is 'meh'…

I look at this showing and feel it's very average at the end of the day. This felt more like something you would get on free television, not PPV. I know it seemed like TNA went all out by having all the championships change hands and put in a couple of surprises, but some of these title changes/surprises weren't that surprising and some of them were either predictable or uninteresting. I would go further by saying the most surprising title change was the KO title since Tapa's presence came out of nowhere. This is supposed to be TNA's version of WrestleMania and the biggest surprise you can dish out is a big woman powebombing Bully's jailbait? That's your ace in the hole? To be fair, the cocky attitude from Magnus was a very nice touch, but those still aren't enough to really convince me this PPV was something special. I know it sounds like I'm being harsh on TNA, but when you decide to only show four PPVs in a year, you really have to make these stand out and I honestly don't think they really did that tonight. I can see where some of you will disagree with this (And I expect to get a lot of disagreement with this one), but this honestly didn't do it for me. If I have to give this PPV a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I give TNA Bound for Glory 2013 a 5 out of 10. I was gonna give this a 6 out of 10, but I had to take off a point because the best match of the night had two of the dumbest moments in the PPV, and that's really saying something when this is the same show that featured the crowning of a tag champion that baths in body glitter. This review has gone on long enough and I need to stop before I continue to piss off more TNA fans. Not sure if I'm back to reviewing TNA on a weekly basis (Seeing as how my schedule is making it difficult just to review Raw), but I'm gonna try to at least update on TNA a little more consistently than what I've done for the last couple of months. This PPV might've been better than Battleground, but that's not saying much. That's like bragging about getting punched in the face compared to getting punched in the face 2-3 times. Do you really want to brag about that? Thanks for reading my nonsense. If you enjoyed any of this bulls***, check out some of my other reviews to see more of my insanity. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official Score for TNA Bound for Glory 2013: 5 out of 10

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 10/7/13 Review (Improvement)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 10/7/13. Will this be better than Battleground? Let's just hope that's the case… Let's begin. 

He's fired again?

We open the show with Stephanie and Bipolar Show. She lashes out at him for his actions at Battleground while Big Show doesn't seem to care. The big guy admits he knocked out Daniel Bryan since Steph told him to do it, but had enough and started to punch everybody out. After some more rebellion from Show, Steph fires him while Show seems happy. YAY, I'M UNEMPLOYED!!! WOOOOOOO!!! So, let me get this straight. Steph wanted Randy Orton to unleash his dark side, but wanted to help him win the WWE title at Battleground? Ah, the loveliness that is wrestling logic…

You know, that sums it up perfectly. Show's fired for the second straight year and I'm sure it won't last as long as the last one. In fact, let's start taking a poll in when Show will get his job back. Based on how things are going, I'm gonna shoot for Hell in a Cell. What do you think? I love how they insert the fact Show's been escorted from the building. Oh yeah, I'm sure he will NOT be showing up later in the show… yep… guara-damn-tee it!

The stuff people forget about

Dolph and Damien throw some punches 'n stuff… the match is over. This was pretty much the same match you got if you checked out the pre-show, but you ended up saving your brain cells then you got something decent. I will agree that the match does nothing for either person since both guys need some type of program/rival since they're stuck in their own limbo at the moment. I just hope something changes soon with them. Meanwhile, we can watch the Total Divas put those 'amazing' skills to the ultimate test. I know I shouldn't be too harsh on these ladies since they're still learning techniques in the ring and are mostly on the WWE roster for sex appeal but they clearly were not ready for this match. Wannabe Jessica Rabbit couldn't even master the art of tagging in a partner while the potato wedge did nothing during this match… And I think Natalya was somewhere. Bonus points if you were able to spot here, but unfortunately for you, there's no prize in this contest. In other matches, Los Matadores defeated 3MB-1. I'm still getting a kick out of this tag team and El Torito. It's NOT supposed to be taken seriously and is being played up for laughs so I'm actually getting a kick out of it. I understand if you don't like it since it's too goofy but everybody has their own preferences/taste. Well, I think it's about that time. It's time to grab life by the horns…

Heyman's in a baaaaaaaad mood

Ryback and Curtis Axel teamed up to take on CM Punk and R-Truth because Paul Heyman remembered that he agreed to manage Axel. Yeah, you almost forget that's a thing considering Curtis has regressed to whipping boy since Heyman found something more meaty. The match wasn't too bad and it was enjoyable, so at least it had that going for it. It does seem odd that Truth has started a rivalry out of nowhere with Curtis for the IC title, but that's probably because the staff forgot Curtis was IC champion in the first place. Well, at least Axel's glad to be the toilet paper champion. 

The WWE App brought to you by voting

The Randy Orton/Kofi Kingston match was at least entertaining but it was nothing out of the norm. After the match, Bryan attacked Randy for stiffing him on the check from last night. Randy would get a chance to repay him later in the show by doing the same thing. Wow, what an asshole! I should note that Randy vs DB will happen at Hell in a Cell and it will indeed be a HIAC match. A HIAC match at HIAC!? Who would've thought of that!!! WWE, you're indeed a genius for this… Okay, this joke is going nowhere. There will be a special guest referee for the match and that will be determined by the WWE App. I think in the next year, you will have to have the WWE App surgically attached to your ass JUST to watch this show. It's getting to that point. Anyway, the choices for the guest referee is uninteresting choice #1, uninteresting choice #2, and SHAWN MICHAELS. VOTE NOW!!! VOTE NOW!!! VOTE NOW!!! One of the things that always makes me laugh is how the commentators say every vote on the WWE App broke the previous record but they NEVER tell you any of the metrics. I think I'm just gonna let that one speak for itself. Of course, HBK won the poll but I wanted to see Mr. Backlund slap somebody with the cross face chicken wing. That was about the only thing I was able to decipher from his promo. In fact, Bob Backlund is the only person I know that speaks fluent english and you still need to get a translator for him. Still, Backlund was very entertaining this evening. It makes sense for HBK to be the special guest referee since it makes you wonder which side of the coin he's gonna take. Will he help out his former student…

…or will he support his best friend? It's that element alone that makes the Orton/Bryan match even more intriguing. I just hope the match lives up to the expectations. 

Kryptonite is bulls***!

So, how many times has Alberto Del Rio tried to sweet-talk Vickie Guerrero and how many times has it failed? Well, you know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, try try try try try try TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY F***ING AGAIN!!! Of course, it blows up in his face and now has to face John Cena at HIAC…Wait, John Cena? He's back already? Yeah, so I was instantly puzzled by this announcement. I'm not sure if the man's healthy enough to compete or not but it definitely has my interest. Is Cena healthy enough to compete? If he isn't 100%, how will the match go? With a triceps tear, I still think he's got a ways to go in the recovery process. At the same time, I'm not a doctor and can't claim to know anything about a triceps tear, but it sounds like it would keep you on the shelf longer than 6-8 weeks. You know, WWE, he ISN'T really Superman. The internet gives you a nickname for so long that you start believing it's actually true. Joking aside, this matchup does make things interesting. So, a special guest referee and Cena returning early? I think HIAC already has done better build in one day than Battleground did in those three weeks combined. Oh yeah, I completely forgot about Ricardo Rodriguez taking advantage of the situation and got a rollup victory on Del Rio. That s*** was hilarious! Unfortunately he didn't get to laugh for very long. Ricardo, your arm's not looking so good there. 

More stuff people forgot about

With WWE having Brad Maddox apologizing for his actions, I wonder if they were secretly using Maddox to have him apologize for the entire Battleground event. Fandango defeated some guy who lost his 15 minutes of fame years ago. More like Fandumbo…Naw, that was a terrible. Give me time on that one. More Punjab-A-Whirl thanks to Antonio Cesaro. Notice how the Cesaro swing is quickly making the audience root for the Real Americans. I'm even starting to hear some 'We the people' chants going on here. Antonio, you might be on to something with this craze. Bray Wyatt decided to pick on the Miz this evening, but Miz fought back. He did manage to hold his own against Bray, but Bray seemed to get off on this. Again, I'm not sure if the Wyatt family are getting new opponents or they're just going after everybody, but at least it's a start. 

FINISH HIM…

According to my sources, WWE is gonna trademark 'it's good for business'. Why? Because it's good for business…

The final match of the night was the Shield taking on Cody Rhodes, Goldust and Daniel Bryan. While the match was fine, it was the aftermath we're looking forward to so let's just skip ahead. The match is about to end in another no contest until Triple H decides to restart the match and make it a No DQ match. Randy runs interference and Shield is able to steal another match. Big Show arrives once more and is searching for Trips. Oh yeah, now that he's fired, he can knock me out now… I…I didn't plan this very well. At this point, I imagine Triple H is thinking this…

Sure enough, the episode ends with Show knocking out Triple H. After weeks of build, the payoff finally happened and Show knocked out the corporation. As mean and unsettling it would've been for people, I kinda wanted to see him knock out Steph as well, but one thing at a time. This was actually a good ending to the show. I know people will argue this should've happened at Battleground, but that PPV was doomed the second it started, so it was best to cut your loses and just wait until Monday night to do something better. Like I mentioned earlier, it makes you wonder how Show ends up getting his job back, but only time will tell.

Overall Impression:

I think it goes without saying, but this was miles better than Battleground. I wouldn't call this one of the best episodes of Raw I've seen this year, but it was entertaining for what it was worth. The matches were decent to sit through and the storyline progression was more intriguing than what occurred at Battleground. In fact, let's pretend Battleground never happened and we'll be perfectly fine moving forward. The announcements for HIAC are very interesting and I'm already looking forward to this PPV. Definitely a swing in the right direction after…THAT thing we won't mention anymore since it NEVER HAPPENED! Well, I think it's time to wrap this up. Thank you for reading my stupid thoughts. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Battleground 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Somebody told me WWE Battleground was taking place, so let's review it…I guess. Here's a PPV and a bag of tricks along with the--f*** it, let's just get started. 

Here's your PPV… enjoy… I think

As I mentioned during the week, I was not looking forward to this. While some of the hype to the major matches were at least appealing to register a watch, nothing else about the event was really selling it for me; but the final presentation is all that matters at the end of the day, right? Would that occur or would mowing a lawn be more entertaining? Let's find out. The first match of the night was the Hardcore match between Alberto Del Rio and RVD for the WHC. The match wasn't bad and a decent start to the show. It was good, but if you've seen a lot of hardcore matches involving RVD, this was nothing different. Del Rio wins the match after RVD misses a Van Terminator, thus Del Rio attacks RVD's arm to weaken it for the Cross Armbreaker. Looks like a wheel fell off that maneuver for Van Dam…

With the victory, Del Rio pretends the WHC means something while RVD will go home to count his money. Who's the next opponent for Del Rio's WHC? Eh, maybe they'll bring out the 'Insert some random guy here' roulette board to determine who should be next. TAKING ALL BETS!!!

The highlight of the night

I find it amazing how Zeb Colter is the only person in the WWE that can create the art of food…smack talk? Is that a thing? In fact, he probably went out to dip some buffalo wings into some maple syrup after the show. Hmmm… I wonder how that would taste? Anyway, Santino and Great Khali have a match against Almost Real Americans. Yeah, this makes it on Battleground and we aren't even an hour into the show? Maybe the creative staff shut down this week, what do you want from me!? The match is pretty forgettable until you get to the part where Antonio Cesaro swings Khali around. I could seriously watch that for hours. At least Battleground has at least one thing going for itself at the moment. After the 'Punjab-A-Whirl', Antonio pins Khali to defeat Comedy Disaster. After the Cesaro swing, the next best thing about this PPV is Zeb's promo. I'm actually being serious right now… yikes…

Fire Man is a dick

You know what can be a bit challenging? In the first Megaman game, you have to defeat Bomb Man, Fire Man, Ice Man, and Guts Man all on one life and no energy refills in between. And even if you manage to defeat all four of them, you still have to defeat Dr. Wily without any energy refills. Why is it so hard? There's challenging and just being completely unfair and THIS is pretty dickish. If only Fire Man's pattern was easy to recognize a--THE F*** AM I DOING!? Sorry, I got distracted with Megaman and I missed out on the IC and Divas title matches. At the same time can you blame me? Nothing about these matches stand out or even serve and importance. I even went back to force myself to watch these and I didn't miss a damn thing. I guess you can argue the AJ/Brie match at least got some build-up, but even then it was lazily done at the last moment. I'm not sure if my mind is playing tricks on me but I think the divas match was longer than the IC title match. To be fair, the matches weren't bad as nothing about them screamed terrible, but by speeding through exposition faster than a bean burrito, it doesn't make me care about the match… It just makes me want to play a video game. Hey look, I somehow connected all of that! Neither of these titles changed hands. Axel won cleanly while AJ had some help from Tamina to steal the match. The AJ match at least had some of my interest as I did not care at all for the IC title match. In fact, what's an Intercontinental Title? Curtis Axel might as well being holding onto a roll of toilet paper since that's pretty much what the IC represents these days…

Hey look, the PPV is trying to do something

The next match was Cody Rhodes and Goldust taking on the Shield in a tag team match. This was one of the few matches I was looking forward to this evening. The pieces were there to make this match truly stick out and I would say this was the best match of the night in terms of quality AND storytelling. The crowd was really into this match and I'll admit that it was definitely worth checking out, but something about it just screams rushed. The Rhodes family coming back in the WWE was a great moment, but you can tell the WWE was playing it up a lot more than they should. This would've been a bigger moment if the Rhodes family had been gone for months to get their redemption, not 3-5 weeks. This storyline needed more time to really go over, but it was enjoyable for what it was worth. 

Outsmart the walrus

Come in, beat somebody up, follow the buzzards, and leave. That seems to be the growing tale for the Wyatt family. Like I said in last week's Raw review, I like the Wyatt family and they show a ton of potential but you gotta do more than just have them repeat themselves every week. In fact, I think people are starting to grow tired of them since nothing's changed. The Punk/Ryback match was… okay. Yeah, it was just okay. Thanks to a slight distraction by Heyman, Punk utilizes his cunning to sneak a low blow on Ryback to steal this match. This was probably the best way to end the match if you wanted to continue the feud. Ryback doesn't look bad since he get screwed over while Punk looks good since he was able to outsmart Heyman. While I understand the reasoning for this type of approach, this outcome just adds to the list of things that aren't making this PPV stick out. That's another negative for the night… That list is really starting to grow, don't you think? 

Here's your knuckle sandwich

After another round of Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton matches, Big Show comes out to knock out DB. It seems as if Randy is about to steal the championship until Show has grown tired of all the pressure and knocks out the backup referee and Randy in the process, thus ending the PPV. I guess we have to wait a few more weeks until we have a WWE Champion as this match ends in a no contest. I know a lot of people are complaining about the ending since it puts things on hold a while longer but I understood why this happened and I don't mind the ending since its been building up to this. Big Show has been pushed to the edge by the corporation and the guy just finally had enough of it all and decided he needed to do something about it, thus screwing over Randy in the process. It was time for him to do something and he'll definitely be dealt with tomorrow when Trips and Steph have to talk to him. With all of that and despite the fact I understand AND agree with this move, the ending does nothing for the overall presentation of tonight's show. That's just another negative to add to the list. Well, let's get just to the conclusion already since that list is about to explode. 

Overall Impression:

I went into tonight's show with low expectations and outside of a few things that stood out from the show, I was still disappointed with this presentation. Nothing about it seems memorable and I have to argue that this PPV does nothing. Why was this even here? Why did this take place? Why does it exist? Is it because the company quota said you had to put a PPV on tonight, is that why? That's sadly the answer to the question but I would even say if this is what you were gonna showcase this evening, you would be better off canceling this PPV and waiting until Raw or Smackdown to air this. In fact, tonight's PPV felt like two episodes of Smackdown combined. Instead of Battleground, it should've been called Battledown or Smackground… That just sounds wrong. I wouldn't call this a bad PPV at the end of the day since the match quality was present. In fact, I would mostly refer to this as a boring PPV. I just had a hard time trying to sit down and enjoy this show. When I just trailed off in the middle of the review, that actually happened. I just got so bored and uninterested with Battleground that I literally had to switch to something else. I would've actually preferred to witness a bad PPV since at least I'd have something funny to look at. I know it seems odd that I would get more enjoyment out of a bad wrestling show compared to a boring one, but that's just how I see it. I watch wrestling to have a good time and be entertained, but when a showing's boring, I honestly just have to look elsewhere for entertainment. If I had to give Battleground a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give this a 3 out of 10. I can see some people saying this was slightly below average, but I honestly had to bring it down a notch because of how boring it was. Antonio Cesaro's swing and the Rhodes family dilemma might be positives, but there's just not enough fun stuff to really make this event worthwhile. This is definitely one PPV I never want to look at again. I just hope something changes with Hell in a Cell, but I wouldn't be surprised if HIAC is similar to NoC and BG due to the fact WWE wants to use most of their cards at Survivor Series since it's one of the big four. With that said, I just hope it means things will get a little more interesting in the next few weeks. After all, I gotta hold onto something. Despite how disappointed I was with this PPV, I still think something good can come out of this and it should get better. After all, there's still traces of good stuff here and there and they had something good a few weeks ago. I'm optimistic to the point where I think the interest level will rise once more, but that's just me. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed any of my nonsense, check out some of my other reviews and partake in my stupidity. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official Score for WWE Battleground 2013: 3 out of 10